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Trigger warning: those who are no longer with us

Old 02-22-2019, 11:06 AM
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Trigger warning: those who are no longer with us

Do you know of people who have passed away because of alcoholism, in particular young people? Personally I don't, but I've heard of many dying of cirrhosis in their 40s or so. I don't know anyone who's died from alcohol poisoning or been killed in a crash
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:15 AM
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I know several personally. The saddest part is that all of them were preventable.
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:38 AM
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Yes, unfortunately, I do.
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:49 AM
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My boyfriend died of cirrhosis at age 39. Watched him endure all of the horrible symptoms. And ugly death.
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Old 02-22-2019, 12:03 PM
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My dad died at 68. He could've lived a much longer life, and could have enjoyed his time here more if he was sober.
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Old 02-22-2019, 12:14 PM
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Sadly yes this is common
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Old 02-22-2019, 02:52 PM
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30 days ago today a friend I've known since high school took his own life. I don't know the extent to which alcohol was involved in that particular incident but it has caused him legal and other issues for years. His dad is a functional alcoholic and his twin brother was one of my old drinking buddies. As others have said its all too common, from one cause or another.
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Old 02-22-2019, 02:55 PM
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I know way too many people who have died from the consequences of our disease.
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Old 02-22-2019, 03:22 PM
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I know too many. Alcoholism wants us dead and most of us die drunk. I also know of many who died as an indirect result of drinking (auto accidents, stumbles into a brick wall, stupid accidents).

Thing is, we don't know when our time is up, but I want to do it sober today.
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Old 02-22-2019, 04:00 PM
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Yeah, I know a fairly long list.

I used to think that stories about people dying young were scare tactics or 'that will never happen to me' - but it happens all the time.

Addiction is far too often a deadly condition.

D
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Old 02-22-2019, 04:16 PM
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I did learn of somebody after I had already gotten sober. A guy named Danny, he was the son of my parents' friends.

Danny was 15 years older than me, when I was a kid he was already in his early 20s. He was the epitome of your stereotypical cool guy from the 80s. Feathered hair, drove a Camaro, hot blond girlfriend, it was like something out of a movie. I idolized this guy as a kid. He was always nice to me but whenever his family threw parties he would get completely drunk. It would horrify my young impressionable self when he got wasted, it was like he wasn't even human.

The last time I saw him personally was in 1996 at his nephew's baptism. He was a sad, disheveled, bloated mess. Far cry from the guy I had looked up to.

Danny died sometime last year. My mother told me that he had been homeless and in and out of jail. For being in his mid 50s he looked much older, the years had not been kind to him.

Just typing this out and thinking about my childhood memories of the cool guy is depressing to me. Not all of us get saved.
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Old 02-22-2019, 04:22 PM
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Just as an example, or maybe a warning, I worked with a young man whose parents were both fellow union members. He was headed on the straight track toward membership, and it's not easy to get in.
I worked in the entertainment business where drinking was tolerated, if not encouraged.
I drank with his parents. I drank with him at the bar we all drank at. The bar even gave us fifty cents off a beer.

This is hard to write.
But when they found him in his parents recreation room he was dead.
At the autopsy, they found he had literally drank himself to death.
His BAL was .423.
He was twenty three years old.

There were three other co-workers who did the same, only on the installment plan. It took years, but alcohol killed them.
One of them, his skin was actually greenish yellow. Still he drank.
That's all I can write.
If you're concerned about your drinking, stop.
It's a matter of life and death and I was on the same route.
I made it out alive.
RIP my friends.
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Old 02-22-2019, 04:45 PM
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Yes. And if you stay sober - or you don't - you will know many too. The only choice we have is whether we will be one of them.
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Old 02-23-2019, 07:41 AM
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I have to say this had me up for a while last night; I have known so many people who’ve died from alcoholism, young, midlife and realized not one active alcoholic I’ve known has made it to old age, or even past about 55.

It’s a killer disease. I consider myself blessed that it didn’t get me; not today, as least I can tell.

I hate alcohol, every last stinking thing about it. It is a liar, and a killer.
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:33 AM
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I may be the odd person out on this one, but this thread actually kinda seems non constructive and almost damaging. Yes, many don’t make it or get sober; but we have! So I don’t know, I don’t like to dwell on who was lost to this horrible disease. It’s almost like using scare tactics instead or positivity!
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:34 AM
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Yes I've known several people who have died in recovery, both from substance abuse and suicide.
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by AmbyMarie View Post
I may be the odd person out on this one, but this thread actually kinda seems non constructive and almost damaging. Yes, many don’t make it or get sober; but we have! So I don’t know, I don’t like to dwell on who was lost to this horrible disease. It’s almost like using scare tactics instead or positivity!
I respectfully disagree. For me the concepts of positivity and consequences are not mutually exclusive as it relates to recovery.

It's good to have a place to share our stories of hope and to show those still struggling that there is a better way to live. At the same time I have to keep myself grounded that there are grave consequences for our illness. To me that is not a scare tactic but rather keeping perspective.

Sobriety has given me everything beautiful in life. All it takes is one sip and it could all be gone in an instant.
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:38 PM
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I think there can be a lot said for “scare” tactics; they hold the truth in that they get thru to a lot of people who would otherwise not listen.

I know, I was one of them.

If people aren’t ready to listen, they don’t scare them.

These reminders are good for me; my sobriety is never a guarantee.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by SkyBird View Post
Do you know of people who have passed away because of alcoholism, in particular young people? Personally I don't, but I've heard of many dying of cirrhosis in their 40s or so. I don't know anyone who's died from alcohol poisoning or been killed in a crash
Yes. And I was nearly one of them, very recently.

I've known several people who drank as much as I did, or more. They are all dead, disabled, or have just totally screwed up their life and on their way to death, or quit drinking, typically for medical reasons.

One of the people I knew died of cirrhosis. One drove into a tree. Another was hit by a train. That one is still alive, but totally disabled, both mentally and physically. The only one person I know right now who drank like I did who is still alive and still drinking, has completely ruined his life and has tons of medical issues and is about to be homeless. The few other I know who are still alive, quit drinking, like me, because they were going to die from it and stopped, for one or other medical reasons.

Heavy drinking seems to typically end badly, eventually.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:37 PM
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I've known several people who have died because of addiction. I think of them sometimes, and I wish they had been able to stay sober. The world is a lesser place because they're gone. I miss them.

I don't talk about them in order to scare people, but the reality is that we need some element of fear. Not overwhelming, but the same kind of fear that keeps me from going 100 miles an hour on a curvy mountain road... I'm happy and content, but the idea of picking up again terrifies me. So I don't fool around with thoughts of moderation or drinking again or any of that. The reality of addiction finally woke me up.

I don't think any of the people I know thought they were going to die from this. They thought they would have more time to get sober. Like tomorrow.

I was the same way and I'm so glad I'm sober. I was lucky that I didn't die from alcoholism. I want to honor their memory by not taking my sobriety for granted. But I also don't want to pretend that this isn't incredibly serious business that we're dealing with.

It's a sad reality that people, including young people, can and do and will die from this. I hope everyone here will stay sober and do what they can to thrive in life.
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