Help!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Help!!
I am ashamed to post here but desperately need help. I went to a wedding last night and was so blinding drunk that I kissed my old boss in front of everyone, including his wife. I don’t remember how it happened I was so drunk. I am utterly disgusted with myself and have had suicidal thoughts. I can’t believe I would do such a terrible thing. I am a nice person who wouldn’t hurt anyone. I know I need help.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I have also done truly embarrassing and shamefull things when drunk.
maybe it's the wake up call to stop drinking completely. This need never happen to you again.
on a lighter note at least it's not your current boss. Seriously the feelings of shame will fade but things like this will keep happening if you keep drinking.
maybe it's the wake up call to stop drinking completely. This need never happen to you again.
on a lighter note at least it's not your current boss. Seriously the feelings of shame will fade but things like this will keep happening if you keep drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
It is definitely a wake up call. I can’t do this anymore. I need to stop for good. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the kind reply. It’s time, I am going to go to aa this week as I know I can’t do this on my own. Thank uou
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
I have also done some shameful things while under the influence. It is very good that it isn't your current boss, and this too shall pass. I'm sure they have chalked it up to a drunken stupor, and it happens a lot at weddings. What can you do today to start your journey into recovery?
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I have done something equally as embarrassing so don’t think you are alone at all. It took me another 4 years to quit and many more terrible things I did were added to the list. I wish I had looked for some help back then like you are doing which is very courageous of you. What’s done is done, but you can make sure it doesn’t happen again if you want to. xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Heyyyy, it's a waste of time beating yourself up, it's done an you can't change it. 😊 we have ALL done something that we are embarrassed about or cringe at. Me included 😀. To keep beating yourself up serves no purpose.
Maybe give them a ring and apologize. Put it to bed, dust yourself off. Stay close to this site.
Wishing you love 🙏💖
Maybe give them a ring and apologize. Put it to bed, dust yourself off. Stay close to this site.
Wishing you love 🙏💖
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Oh Georgie I remember that heart stopping cringe moment of opening my eyes the next morning and remembering what I had done - or even worse not remembering! I do feel for you and rest assured I have done MUCH worse, yet sober I would barely speak to anyone as I was too shy.
Please try not to beat yourself up too much. It's happened you can't change that by worrying.
Good luck at AA, take care and be kind to yourself.
Please try not to beat yourself up too much. It's happened you can't change that by worrying.
Good luck at AA, take care and be kind to yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I'm done some pretty embarrassing and rude things while drinking, too.
I made a fool of myself so many times I couldn't tell you. I've done them in public, too. Pretty ridiculous.
I think AA is a great idea. That's what I did
Best to you and remember, you never have to drink again
I made a fool of myself so many times I couldn't tell you. I've done them in public, too. Pretty ridiculous.
I think AA is a great idea. That's what I did
Best to you and remember, you never have to drink again
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Oh the pain, I vividly remember it.
Seriously, I know it's embarrassing and you are probably feeling like crap (I know the feeling, we all do), and as weird as it sounds, it's really not that bad. It will be okay and it will pass, seriously.
However, it will get worse if you continue to drink.
Just apologize with whoever you should, and then treat yourself. Buy a pizza, watch a movie and move on, taking action to get better.
It will be okay, no worries
Seriously, I know it's embarrassing and you are probably feeling like crap (I know the feeling, we all do), and as weird as it sounds, it's really not that bad. It will be okay and it will pass, seriously.
However, it will get worse if you continue to drink.
Just apologize with whoever you should, and then treat yourself. Buy a pizza, watch a movie and move on, taking action to get better.
It will be okay, no worries
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I know what you are going through. I tried to kiss my girlfriend's friend at a party once. My girlfriend was in the next room. So was her friend 's boyfriend. I still cringe when I think about it and it was 10 years ago.
One thing to know that may ease your anxiety is that everybody has had moments like this where they had too much to drink and did something out of character. Not just alcoholics. I am a stranger so I can see the humour in this like it's from a comedy with Amy Schumer. Maybe you will find it funny with time.
One thing to know that may ease your anxiety is that everybody has had moments like this where they had too much to drink and did something out of character. Not just alcoholics. I am a stranger so I can see the humour in this like it's from a comedy with Amy Schumer. Maybe you will find it funny with time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Thank you to all of you. I am so appreciative of your kindness. The extreme feelings of shame and guilt have not subsided. I keep thinking about what people think of me and how disgusted they are with me. It’s not the first time I’ve done something like this either. It has made me think ENOUGH...and like you said, I can’t change it but I can make sure I never do anything like this again but accepting the fact that I am an alcolohilc and working my hardest at never drinking again. I have been in contact with AA and spoke to a lovely guy on the phone. I am going to go to a meeting tomorrow. Feel very nervous and ashamed but I have to do it. Thanks again and I will most definitely be staying connected to everyone on here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 963
Georgie: If the situation helps you to change, then maybe it was something that needed to happen. I've been and active alcoholic for 20+ years. I had A LOT of "wake-up call" moments: a DUI, zero finances, destroying relationships, losing friends, damaging my professional reputation. Anyway, (not to compare with your experience because everyone's story is different), I lost a job that I love in December because I couldn't complete a vital project. Finally, on January 1 of this year, I stopped drinking.
Have you considered joining the February 2019 class? Every month a new class begins for people who are quitting drinking that month. It's a great group of people and everyone checks in daily to get through the day without drinking.
Remember, that it wasn't you that did something embarrassing, it was the effects of alcohol in your body. The problem is ALCOHOL (the substance) not you. You can control whether or not that substance enters your body by accepting that right now it is not good for you to drink. It's not easy. But it gets easier. I'm a serious drunk; so, if I can quit, you can do it. Hope to see you post in the February 2019 class thread.
Have you considered joining the February 2019 class? Every month a new class begins for people who are quitting drinking that month. It's a great group of people and everyone checks in daily to get through the day without drinking.
Remember, that it wasn't you that did something embarrassing, it was the effects of alcohol in your body. The problem is ALCOHOL (the substance) not you. You can control whether or not that substance enters your body by accepting that right now it is not good for you to drink. It's not easy. But it gets easier. I'm a serious drunk; so, if I can quit, you can do it. Hope to see you post in the February 2019 class thread.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Georgie123 
Thank you to all of you. I am so appreciative of your kindness. The extreme feelings of shame and guilt have not subsided. I keep thinking about what people think of me and how disgusted they are with me. It’s not the first time I’ve done something like this either. It has made me think ENOUGH...and like you said, I can’t change it but I can make sure I never do anything like this again but accepting the fact that I am an alcolohilc and working my hardest at never drinking again. I have been in contact with AA and spoke to a lovely guy on the phone. I am going to go to a meeting tomorrow. Feel very nervous and ashamed but I have to do it. Thanks again and I will most definitely be staying connected to everyone on here.
This is great. You’re getting into action to make changes and that is what will keep you sober. 💕
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Georgie - It's great to have you join us, but I'm sorry for the situation.
I, too, did out-of-character things that still make me blush all these years later. I tell myself the drunk me is nothing like the real me - and that's why I can't risk ever putting myself in danger again. Every time it's in my system, embarrassing & humiliating things happen. I hope you'll take comfort in the fact that you're not alone.
I, too, did out-of-character things that still make me blush all these years later. I tell myself the drunk me is nothing like the real me - and that's why I can't risk ever putting myself in danger again. Every time it's in my system, embarrassing & humiliating things happen. I hope you'll take comfort in the fact that you're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Putting in perspective, Georgie, kissing someone in public isn’t the worst thing you could have done. Very embarrassing — plus you’re probably feeling the shame and guilt of that night on top of a general feeling of unwellness from the heavy drinking.
I can definitely relate.
In fact, in my truly drunken states I’ve been known to run away, to get defensive, to sob, to seek out more alcohol, to do dangerous/reckless things, to wake up outside or in unfamiliar places... it’s been years since an episode like this, but they are nevertheless embarrassing and it makes me sick to recall them. Trying to piece together the night before while still drunk/in withdrawals... is a miserable, miserable place to be.
Take some solace in the fact that you are not alone. You didn’t drive or endanger anyone else. And the big one — that you never have to go through this again.
In sober solidarity —
Evoo
I can definitely relate.
In fact, in my truly drunken states I’ve been known to run away, to get defensive, to sob, to seek out more alcohol, to do dangerous/reckless things, to wake up outside or in unfamiliar places... it’s been years since an episode like this, but they are nevertheless embarrassing and it makes me sick to recall them. Trying to piece together the night before while still drunk/in withdrawals... is a miserable, miserable place to be.
Take some solace in the fact that you are not alone. You didn’t drive or endanger anyone else. And the big one — that you never have to go through this again.
In sober solidarity —
Evoo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Thank you!
It truly is the most miserable place to be and im you n mental anguish. However, reading all of your posts really helps me...thanks for sharing your stories too. Hoping tomorrow is better, although I know when I wake up...the reality will wash over me.
One day at a time.
It truly is the most miserable place to be and im you n mental anguish. However, reading all of your posts really helps me...thanks for sharing your stories too. Hoping tomorrow is better, although I know when I wake up...the reality will wash over me.
One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
You made this public (so to speak), which shows honesty and a call for help. SR is an excellent place to share, learn and heal. I also do meetings and see a psychologist- to work out why I drank so destructively, plus a rehab program and a counsellor over 2 y.
My support and my prayers to you.
Keep posting.
My support and my prayers to you.
Keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
I’m doing ok thanks Kaily. It’s been a tough week, getting over a terrible hangover and waves of guilt and shame. Looking back now after a week of not drinking, it just seems like a horror movie.
Funny enough ugh I have come to a family function tonight and everyone is really drunk and I have slipped off into the TV room. So strange as I would have been been with everyone and I kind of feel like I don’t know who I am sitting here, drinking coke. I can’t go in and chat as I have nothing to say. Although I’m glad im not drinking, I feel out on a limb and alone and the ‘odd one’. Hoping I can make more sense of this as time goes on.
Thanks for asking. Much appreciated.
Funny enough ugh I have come to a family function tonight and everyone is really drunk and I have slipped off into the TV room. So strange as I would have been been with everyone and I kind of feel like I don’t know who I am sitting here, drinking coke. I can’t go in and chat as I have nothing to say. Although I’m glad im not drinking, I feel out on a limb and alone and the ‘odd one’. Hoping I can make more sense of this as time goes on.
Thanks for asking. Much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Good glad your doing ok.
I know how strange it feels to be at a function completely sober instead of completely drunk. Bit like walking on mars, uncharted territory. You have done amazingly well being there in early sobriety.
What a difference a week makes, you will wake up with no regrets. Well done!
I know how strange it feels to be at a function completely sober instead of completely drunk. Bit like walking on mars, uncharted territory. You have done amazingly well being there in early sobriety.
What a difference a week makes, you will wake up with no regrets. Well done!
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