ReadyAtLast

I just wondered if others would share their thoughts on the plans they use for specific events. I was just reading on another thread about a birthday and a poster suggested the person has a specific plan for that day. I think this could help many of us with events that can't be avoided eg birthdays, not necessarily main holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving.

This worked for me at a funeral when I was 15 days sober. I had a weekend away and stayed sober. Next week i am going away for 1 week. Although it is an AI hotel it is in a Muslim country so I would never get extremely drunk and foolish. No matter, this time I will not drink. I have no intention to drink and have 6 books in my suitcase to read, will play with Jr RAL in the water park, have packed my trainers to use the gym and have day trips booked which I do not normally do.

Has anyone been on holiday successfully in the first few months of sobriety. I am not worried as do not want to drink but don't want to be overconfident but be sensible to be cautious and on guard.

I will enjoy my books, the trips out, play with my child, wake up feeling refreshed and come back feeling like i have had a holiday, not feeling like I need one.

Dee74

Even tho this link was originally for thanksgiving I still think it's good for almost any social occasion

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

The main points as I see them are:

there is no 'have to go' - self-care is important: you wouldn't go if you were not feeling well...not feeling secure in your recovery is just as important imo.

rehearse all the likely scenarios in your mind
*someone asking if you want a drink
- no thanks - but I'll have a sparking water

* what to say if they ask why not
I don't want to drink, thanks.

explanations are not necessary.

* how to handle someone who insists you have a drink

geez whys it so important to you I have a drink?

I'm really fine with sparkling water, man - let 's go and see what Joe/Sally/Bill is doing...

* what to do if temptation strikes
- Urge surfing, HALT, play the tape forward, call a friend, post here.

other ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

and - always always have an escape plan - even if you're sure you'll never need one - have one anyway.

D

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Dee, This is great, thanks.

Luckily I am unsociable and do not mix on holiday! Jr RAL makes friends and I'm friendly and polite to their parents but I do not mix. I'm not ignorant or rude just very shy and nervous with new people so I'd rather just not. I'm happy in my own little world with my books So people offering me drinks is unlikely. Plus with the culture women not drinking alcohol is respected not frowned upon as in some places so a good call there!

Dee74

Yeah Sorry RAL I missed the bit about the Muslim country - long day - but the part about making plans for any likely scenarios still stands.

I'm sure you'll be ok - sightseeing and looking out for Master RAL's welfare will take up a good deal of time I'd imagine.

D

Evoo

On a vacations I make sure I have a packed schedule — and I only stay somewhere with a fitness center that I can go to if I need to blow off steam and clear my head. I focus in on museums, photography, fitness, and hot tubs to relax .

But gosh I haven’t been on a vacation in a long time... !!

Big note. Hotel and airport bars are a MAJOR trigger for me. For years I had literally never walked through an airport without a stiff drink. Luckily I don’t have to travel as much for work, so that’s helpful — but when I do, I carry a great book or podcast. I avoid the hotel bars (or restaurants) like the plague, especially if it’s a business trip where I could easily “get away” with it.

MantaLady

I found holidaying in a muslim country really helpful and usually get extra special service when I tell the waiters or staff that "I don't drink alcohol". They really respect it and don't automatically assume it's because you have a drinking problem.

Email the hotel beforehand and ask them to remove any alcohol from your mini bar. That was crucial for me as the temptation late at night to just have a little spirit and mixer was something that I didn't need to put myself through. Hotel were happy to do this for me.

One of my go to drinks on hols in these places is Hibiscus Tea. They love it in hot countries and it's not like other herbal teas. It has a rich red colour and has some flavor too! It's also good for you and helps keep you cool.

Get some short meditations on your phone for any times where you need to ground yourself, sometimes a 10 minute meditation can really stop the mind whirring and put you back on an even keel.

Lastly, enjoy it!! Be proud of how far you have come, be proud of being sober and be kind to yourself. xx

August252015

Do not go.
Do not go.
Do not go - ever, to anything early, often or supposedly special.
Until you can honestly say you are ready to go with a plan (see suggestions above).

Nothing is worth more than my sobriety. Ever.
If anyone else doesn't "get that" - too bad.

I've found this a great recipe for physical and more importantly, emotional sobriety, as it precedes the physical by far. It's also a great recipe for the least stressful life I can have.

No is always a better RSVP than day after regret.

ReadyAtLast

I am going. I do have a plan. I understand where you are coming from August , I really do but I also know I can navigate the week and enjoy it sober.

It is not a drinking environment or a drinking place. We have been many times before and never seen any drunkenness or excess. It is not like Mexico or Spain AI party places.

Thanks Mantalady - you know what I mean. They DO respect you for not drinking. Good tip about the fridge thank you

Thanks for your tips and help.