Sobriety tested tonight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Sobriety tested tonight
Got a call that my father exhibited stroke like symptoms and was taken by ambulance to hospital.
Call was from brother I haven’t talked to in a LONG time, like 20 years, he was in town to visit my Dad
Double whammy
Rushed to hospital an hour away, the whole time wanting to drink
Got their, Dad looked ok, brother was upset. I was nice, focused at issue at hand and comforted my Dad while small talking my brother to make him try to feel a little better—had to be scary to see, he was there when it happened.
Found out that apparently this wasn’t a stroke but low blood sugar episode that mimics stroke like symptoms—Dad is alcoholic and diabetic, doesn’t test or take care of it
Because my Dad fell they did a scan of his head—come to find out he has had a stroke and currently has a heart murmur. Wouldn’t stay at hospital for further tests, demanded to be released.
Drove home—wanted a drink. So I stopped, bought a pack of smokes and had a cigarette. Drove home and in bed. Still want a drink but know it can’t fix all this.
Lots of emotions tonight, no drinking but this issue isn’t over as we all need to evaluate care for my Dad going forward
One day at a time, glad this one is over
Call was from brother I haven’t talked to in a LONG time, like 20 years, he was in town to visit my Dad
Double whammy
Rushed to hospital an hour away, the whole time wanting to drink
Got their, Dad looked ok, brother was upset. I was nice, focused at issue at hand and comforted my Dad while small talking my brother to make him try to feel a little better—had to be scary to see, he was there when it happened.
Found out that apparently this wasn’t a stroke but low blood sugar episode that mimics stroke like symptoms—Dad is alcoholic and diabetic, doesn’t test or take care of it
Because my Dad fell they did a scan of his head—come to find out he has had a stroke and currently has a heart murmur. Wouldn’t stay at hospital for further tests, demanded to be released.
Drove home—wanted a drink. So I stopped, bought a pack of smokes and had a cigarette. Drove home and in bed. Still want a drink but know it can’t fix all this.
Lots of emotions tonight, no drinking but this issue isn’t over as we all need to evaluate care for my Dad going forward
One day at a time, glad this one is over
But you're right, a drink won't make anything better. 
I'm glad you came thru it sober. Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Great job Suzieq, it takes a tremendous amount of strength and resilience to get through such a stressful time AND fight the cravings, you should be very proud of yourself. Just remember to take care and time for yourself too, be kind to yourself. xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Thank you all for the support. To be honest, his end stage alcoholism, and another family members, is what propelled me to quit drinking.
At 42, I saw them and listened to them and decided I just didn’t want to end up like them. Callous as it sounds, it was my wake up call. I was on that path.
I care deeply for my dad. Sadly, all my drinking problems started and ended with him, his actions and lack of actions. He single handedly shaped my view of the world at a very young age. A warped and twisted self destructive view. Last night— lots of thoughts were swirling in my head. I really do love him, and so wish he’d listen and he could get better. But he won’t, and that’s the hardest thing of all the accept. At 75, he doesn’t care enough to fight to live.
Back to the grind today. Per the doc, he shouldn’t be alone. He can barely walk. Waiting to see if he agreed to stay here for the night or I go there. Temporary until my other brother returns from vacation, we can all meet to discuss a plan. I’ll be posting for support as needed. I am crying as I type this. Just so many emotions, past memories, anger, helplessness, flooding me.
At 42, I saw them and listened to them and decided I just didn’t want to end up like them. Callous as it sounds, it was my wake up call. I was on that path.
I care deeply for my dad. Sadly, all my drinking problems started and ended with him, his actions and lack of actions. He single handedly shaped my view of the world at a very young age. A warped and twisted self destructive view. Last night— lots of thoughts were swirling in my head. I really do love him, and so wish he’d listen and he could get better. But he won’t, and that’s the hardest thing of all the accept. At 75, he doesn’t care enough to fight to live.
Back to the grind today. Per the doc, he shouldn’t be alone. He can barely walk. Waiting to see if he agreed to stay here for the night or I go there. Temporary until my other brother returns from vacation, we can all meet to discuss a plan. I’ll be posting for support as needed. I am crying as I type this. Just so many emotions, past memories, anger, helplessness, flooding me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
So, long story short, I offered to come and spend some time with my alcoholic Dad so I could monitor his health. He’s not walking well, has diabetes, etc etc. He screamed at me on phone not to come and that he was going out (to the bar)—mind you, he was just in hospital for blood sugar level at 50. His angry rant I found f*cking annoying and ungrateful. I hung up on him. He tried calling back, I didn’t answer. Few hours later, I picked up and he was like are you ok? No apologies at all and then asking if we could do lunch next week?
I’m about done with all this nonsense. How do I tactfully remove myself from this continued dysfunction? He’s 73, an alcoholic in horrible health. He won’t listen to anyone and no one can force him to do anything (contrary to what my brothers seem to think). My brothers seem to think they can make him see the light — I just want away from my Dad.
PLEASE give me some advise. I’m 42, an alcoholic, trying to stay sober, raise 2 kids, repair my marriage and home life—honestly, my Dad just reminds of drinking and all the reasons I drank. For my sanity, and sobriety, I think he needs to go.
I’m about done with all this nonsense. How do I tactfully remove myself from this continued dysfunction? He’s 73, an alcoholic in horrible health. He won’t listen to anyone and no one can force him to do anything (contrary to what my brothers seem to think). My brothers seem to think they can make him see the light — I just want away from my Dad.
PLEASE give me some advise. I’m 42, an alcoholic, trying to stay sober, raise 2 kids, repair my marriage and home life—honestly, my Dad just reminds of drinking and all the reasons I drank. For my sanity, and sobriety, I think he needs to go.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Suzie, I'm really sorry for the situation with your Dad. It sounds very sad. It might be better, for your sake, to step away from your Dad for awhile. He's made it quite clear he doesn't want to help from you. It's hard to cut off contact completely, but at least you could answer fewer phone calls. My prayers for your Dad and you and your family.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
My parents aren't alcoholic but I had to step away for a few years because they were toxic and I wasn't equipped to handle that in a healthy way.
Your dad looks like he's chosen his course, your brothers look like they have chosen theirs.
Its ok to look after your own welfare, Suzieq
D
Your dad looks like he's chosen his course, your brothers look like they have chosen theirs.
Its ok to look after your own welfare, Suzieq
D
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