Not going out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Not going out
On day 5 and was suppose to be going out with work colleagues tonight but cancelled and although i know i did right thing and will feel great when i wake up hangover free and i have put money i would of spent into savings for my holiday with son in august. I still feel a little sad to miss out on being social and having fun with people, as i have no friends out of work so have never got dressed up in a year, and only been in this job since september so was hoping to make friends but worried not going makes me look odd.
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 83
I understand the feeling. Good move, both on opting out and coming here to vent. It won’t look odd for you not to join outside of work functions so long as you’re friendly at work 
everyone understands having other responsibilities! Check in later and tomorrow morning to tell us how good you feel waking up feeling great. Is there something special you can do for yourself tonight, like start a new book or see a movie you’ve been wanting to?
everyone understands having other responsibilities! Check in later and tomorrow morning to tell us how good you feel waking up feeling great. Is there something special you can do for yourself tonight, like start a new book or see a movie you’ve been wanting to? Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau 
On day 5 and was suppose to be going out with work colleagues tonight but cancelled and although i know i did right thing and will feel great when i wake up hangover free and i have put money i would of spent into savings for my holiday with son in august. I still feel a little sad to miss out on being social and having fun with people, as i have no friends out of work so have never got dressed up in a year, and only been in this job since september so was hoping to make friends but worried not going makes me look odd.
You got this girl 🙏💖
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Good for you! I still remember going to my first work-related get-together. It was in a bar and newly sober. I ordered a non-alcoholic beer....which I know now has alcohol in it). In hindsight, I never should have gone/nobody really cared what anyone else was drinking. Either way, I woke up feeling great the next day. I won! How do you feel?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Enjoy your evening. Just think how brilliant you will feel in the morning.
compare this to if you go out with your new work colleagues, get really drunk, say and do inappropriate things in front of them, lose their respect and feel shame guilt and fear all weekend of going into work Monday morning,
compare this to if you go out with your new work colleagues, get really drunk, say and do inappropriate things in front of them, lose their respect and feel shame guilt and fear all weekend of going into work Monday morning,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Enjoy your evening. Just think how brilliant you will feel in the morning.
compare this to if you go out with your new work colleagues, get really drunk, say and do inappropriate things in front of them, lose their respect and feel shame guilt and fear all weekend of going into work Monday morning,
compare this to if you go out with your new work colleagues, get really drunk, say and do inappropriate things in front of them, lose their respect and feel shame guilt and fear all weekend of going into work Monday morning,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 462
That really is the best decision right now, concentrating on your sobriety will help tremendously. Tomorrow will be a great day, hangover free and you can feel proud that you have saved some money for your trip. Just remember that it won't always be this way, you won't always have to turn down invitations to go out, your sobriety just needs to be strong enough to accept them
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Big thanks to everyone for helping me through last night, didnt have best sleep but ive woken up hangover free and so happy i stayed in, no regrets at all just pleased i no longer have to stress about event. Day 6 today got some family coming to visit so will be nice to catch up, looking forward to another sober day which i pledge ì will not drink.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Tink - I love this decision and how you feel today, like we thought!!
And - I want you to compare your right choice to what a friend of mine struggling with sobriety did a week ago, with 11 days sober. That restless time of evening came about and he thought he would meet some friends he always did trivia with - who all drink heavily...at the usual place....he "started with club soda, had a sip of sangria and found himself around the corner from home after who knows how much vodka and very little memory of what the h*ll happened." That's the kind of thing you avoided - I'm proud of you!
And - I want you to compare your right choice to what a friend of mine struggling with sobriety did a week ago, with 11 days sober. That restless time of evening came about and he thought he would meet some friends he always did trivia with - who all drink heavily...at the usual place....he "started with club soda, had a sip of sangria and found himself around the corner from home after who knows how much vodka and very little memory of what the h*ll happened." That's the kind of thing you avoided - I'm proud of you!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,515
5 days in to being sober is still early days so missing going out with work colleagues is possibly for the best at this early stage. Works get togethers can be awkward and if you're new to being sober it might not be the best setting to be in. Does anyone you work with know you've recently stopped drinking? If so you could always explain why you felt you couldn't go out but then you could add that at some stage, when you feel more comfortable with everything, you will go out with them.
One place I worked at I hated works get togethers as it all centred around drinking. However that particular place had a heavy drinking culture and I knew from watching other people that I wasn't the only one with a drink problem. Another place I worked at was great though. We'd all go out once a month, would head off first to get something to eat and then some of us would then head home while others would then head off for a drink. There were enough of us who would just go for the meal that it didn't look strange if I headed off home.
One place I worked at I hated works get togethers as it all centred around drinking. However that particular place had a heavy drinking culture and I knew from watching other people that I wasn't the only one with a drink problem. Another place I worked at was great though. We'd all go out once a month, would head off first to get something to eat and then some of us would then head home while others would then head off for a drink. There were enough of us who would just go for the meal that it didn't look strange if I headed off home.
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