slowlyevolving

Why is it so hard to do what I know has to be done? My ex has been spiraling and checked himself into detox yesterday. He was having one of those rare moments of humility (usually it's all insults, accusations, and insanity) and admitted to me his depths of addiction. I was pulled back in to his hurt, talked to his family and concerned friends.

Today I know I have to file for emergency custody. I hate that it feels like a betrayal of trust. This old codependency stuff doesn't die easily.

Just remind me of all the reasons that this is what I HAVE to do. It's about my kids safety. Detox is not Rehab. Rehab does not guarantee sobriety. My kids need stability....let me hear it all!!!

Thanks in advance.

Hechosedrugs

You can be found guilty of failure to protect if you don't, and if so, you could easily lose your kids. Your children are not safe. Neither are you.

atalose

That pretty much says it all, your kids safety!

You can also keep asking yourself what's more important, feeding your active codependency or doing what's in the best interest of your kids.

hopeful4

Amen to that!

The thing is, when you have a child, you put them as #1. No matter who it will hurt, or anything else. Their wellbeing comes before yours, and definitely before his!

Don't question yourself. You are doing the right thing. Using has consequences, and he will never, ever, even think of doing the right thing without feeling those consequences. However, your child will always know when you do the right thing and protect and stay by them!

Sending you a big hug!

Ann

Children are the innocent victims of all this and cannot speak for themselves or take care of themselves, so it is up to the parent who is responsible and clean of drugs and alcohol to step up and put the children first....always.

But you already know that, the hard part is putting it into practice, no matter how much it hurts.

slowlyevolving

I did it! Yay to me. I hate that his emotional manipulation and anger still impact my ability to clearly do what's right, but I ignored all that and did it anyways. Seeing everything written up in a court order was hugely helpful as it just was painfully clear how bad things had gotten. I feel a huge sense of relief and my ex's reaction (total denial) to the entire situation is just another reminder of why this has to happen. Kids first. Always. Got it.

Troubledone

Congratulations slowlyrevovling,

I think you did the right thing!

Stay strong - you are on your way to a better life!