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Life Is Over

Old 02-08-2019, 10:36 AM
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Life Is Over

I crashed my car into another. I was told everyone involved is ok. The devastation this will cause. Car is gone, financial collapse, guilt, shame. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I don’t know my charges or what will happen to me. My wife and kids left. Now I’m just here alone. Sad, scared. Tried calling crisis lines, just to have someone to talk to but they didn’t seem much help. There’s an AA meeting tonight that I want to go to. I just have to find a way to get there.
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:42 AM
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I'm so sorry your having a hard time, we are all here for you if you can't get to a meeting, please lean on this site. Always someone around to chat with . Much love to you 🙏💖
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:47 AM
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I'm sorry about your accident and situation.
Male a call to AA perhaps they can get you a ride.
Best to you.
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Old 02-08-2019, 10:53 AM
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Oh UhOh I am so sorry to read this.
I believe if you ring the number on the AA website they will be able to help with transport. You need to be around people when you are feeling desperate.

Thinking of you.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:02 AM
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Sorry to hear that UhOH - like others said you can likely find a ride to the meeting tonight if you give the local hotline a call. And of course SR is here 24/7 too. You might want to think about calling an attorney as well just to be ready should you need one. But above all else, don't drink alcohol. You likely have a long process ahead of you, but what has happened to you has happened to others - and they got through it.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:06 AM
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I'm sorry that happened, UhOh. There is a ton of support here, if you'll allow it and listen to it. I didn't hit anyone, but I got in some very serious trouble driving back in September. If you need to chat or want more support or details, feel free to pm me. The only thing I can tell you is continuing to drink will make everything worse, even as much as it seems things cannot get worse at the moment. Believe me, they can and will. Keep your chin up, take care of yourself, and look at this as a wake up call to change your life. That's what I had to do after I felt as though I'd lost everything. Good luck and good thoughts.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:07 AM
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The consequences of our drinking may nudge us into recovery, but the consequences alone are rarely enough to get us to quit.

You life isn't over because of the crash; but continued drinking...that will surely make it worse.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:10 AM
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There are people on this site who have gone through similar circumstances. The important thing is that no one was killed or seriously injured. At least, you can take comfort in that things could be much worse. You may even consider yourself 'lucky' in that respect.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:12 AM
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Sorry for your situation, but you aren't the first or last to have this happen. You can approach this one of two ways. One is that your life is over, the other is that this is the BEGINNING of a new chapter. You can get your life back, I assure you. But you must do it sober. I was at my wits end, almost lost everything. Got sober and with clear mind straightened it all out. Again, very sorry to hear what happened, I wish you the best.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:13 AM
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I'm sure many on here including me have been where you are. Not a pretty place! What others have said and read and post as needed. The last time I was in jail, the guy next to me said "every time I've been in trouble, I was drinking". One of those aha! moments.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:13 AM
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I'm sorry this happened, but thankfully everyone involved is unhurt.

As Scott suggested, do think about getting a lawyer and having legal help as you move through the next months.

I hope you continue to post and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:21 AM
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I did call a lawyer for consultation and i was able to talk to the secretary but all the lawyers were busy so she said the cops will offer a lawyer. I don’t know if that’s what I should do?
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:30 AM
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Thank God everyone was OK! You must be relieved about that at least. And now you have a great reason to finally stop drinking once and for all. This can be the beginning of a whole new chapter of your life. In the meantime, I know it will be hard. But keep your head up and keep remembering that no one got hurt. What an amazing gift you have right now.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:33 AM
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A lawyer is made available to you if you can't afford one.

This does not mean your life is over - rather, it's just been put on hold for a while. I hope you stop drinking.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by UhOh View Post
I did call a lawyer for consultation and i was able to talk to the secretary but all the lawyers were busy so she said the cops will offer a lawyer. I don’t know if that’s what I should do?
If you can afford your own lawyer, please do that. The cops will offer a public defender who may or may not have your best interests at hand.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:44 AM
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You’re at a crossroads; continue to drink and your life is only going to go down. Commit, live, and embrace sobriety and 5 years from now this will likely seem like a blessing. Get to the meeting, there will be people there who have been where you are or worse and will have an incredible life now full of peace and serenity.
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Old 02-08-2019, 11:59 AM
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What is going to happen to you will depend upon the laws of your State, whether this is your first DWI, your measured blood alcohol, and possibly other aggravating factors. For everyone involved it is very good that nobody was hurt. You can be certain that your license will be suspended or revoked for a period of time. You may go to jail for a period of time, I did, and you will probably be on probation for a period of time during which you may be tested for alcohol or drug use. You will face a variety of fees and very likely a fine.

The first thing in court is your arraignment hearing during which you can enter a plea, and this is where you will need the advice of an attorney on how to navigate your charges. I did not have any demonstrable monetary resources, so my defense attorney was provided for me and the sliding scale of fees was waived. Your circumstances may be different.

Now is the time to stop drinking for certain and for your well-being going through all of the tribulations that can be drawn out over time. It will be difficult, but you can put your life back in order. A recovery program to be completed before or started in advance of your court hearing/trail may work in your favor on all aspects. I would go to those AA meetings regularly as well, for support at the minimum.

I feel for you but can tell you with assurance that you need to take this step by step and do *all* the right things to come through. You probably are panicky and grief stricken over the situation, I was. Don't give in to the AV notion that things are so bad that drinking cannot make it worse.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:16 PM
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UhOh, I hope that you take this life lesson as an opportunity to get help.

You wouldn't be the first person who's drinking career was interrupted with a DUI, crash, etc. and who then entered AA and got sober.

I drove drunk everyday for years and then I got sober.

My life got better and I no longer have to worry when I drive.

I stop at DUI checkpoints with my Perrier in hand and get waived right on through.

There is a much better life out there for you than this nonsense.

Please seize it and hold onto it, amigo.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:29 PM
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Thanks for the support, this situation is fresh and really hurting. I haven’t even figured out work yet. I could be fired.
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by UhOh View Post
I did call a lawyer for consultation and i was able to talk to the secretary but all the lawyers were busy so she said the cops will offer a lawyer. I don’t know if that’s what I should do?
Not sure where you're from, but in the UK, you get a free solicitor provided if you wish (by the Police) but they are ordinary solicitors. Each firm usually provides a duty solicitor who will attend certain stations. Nothing dodgy about it. Certainly get some sort of legal aid.

I would definitely not hessitate to take a duty solicitor.
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