I just realized I’m one week away from 100 days. When I decided to stop drinking (again... ) I was coming off of some bad situations and incredibly fortunate like so many of us here that I hadnt killed myself or anyone else in the process. But I felt my luck was running out and it was only a matter of time before something even worse happened. When I think back there were many many many times I can remember thinking that I really needed to stop before something really bad happened. Yet I kept right on drinking.

So After one particularly horrid night I started off the next morning in desperation and as a desperate person would do, I swore that I would never ever ever drink again. My life depended on it. My marriage depended on it. My career too and the list could go on and in. Here’s the deal for me.... the first few weeks while they were certainly not easy, I was still so tied up in all the hideous sht I had done that there was no way I was going to drink again ever. But as the feeling in my gut associated with the memories of what did happen and even worse what could have happened started to fade, the AV and cravings started to hit me. I have muscled through. I’ve tried to establish a plan and I need to make it stronger. I’m trying to adjust my thinking to how darn good i feel today and focus on never wanting to voluntarily put anything in my body that could potentially (and we all know it eventually would) interfere with that. One of my excuses to myself and to “friends” was that not drinking was part of a 100 day health plan. I’m a week away. I won’t drink this weekend. No way no how. I cannot wait to wake up in a week knowing I did it... 100 days. And I’ve been at almost 10 months before and then at 5 months after going back out into hell. I have to figure out what is going to be different this time. I do feel different. It’s hard to put into words. HIIT workouts are really helping me and I didn’t commit to anything like that before. They are helping me love myself again and help rid my soul of all the sht that creeps in there. As odd as it may sound, not doing AA but working my program here on SR is another big change. It’s truly anonymous and I don’t compare myself to anyone on SR but rather I empathize and feel comraderie. Losing two members of my community to drugs and alcohol has opened my eyes too. When I write here I ramble but it therapeutic so thanks for listening.

Hi serinityplz. A lot of your post resonates with me , I'm following a similar path. Got into hitt training myself recently It's Tough , Staying close to SR , staying sober day to day , Congrats on upcoming 100 days , no going back anymore Forwards all the way.