Triggered, almost caved.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
Triggered, almost caved.
Only on Day 5. Sleep deprived. I went to AA this morning. During the meeting, a flood of memories came flooding back. Events that happened while drunk or on drugs etc. I am clear-minded now so I see what my behaviour entailed.
Well, walking out of the meeting, I was hit with a panic attack. Very intense. For the last few years, it was these anxiety attacks that had me running to the liquor store. I was within minutes of buying booze. I don't want to drink at all but I know a few beers will stop these attacks. Heart palpitations, racing thoughts, paranoia. Every sober stretch I have had over the last few years has been ruined by these attacks.
With my ADHD and poor impulse control, it is very difficult not to give in to that first impulse: drink. I am self-aware now and caught myself. Wow, that was hard.
I should probably have a supply of valium or something on hand for these moments. Alcohol has very similar effects as benzodiazepines I have read. Although both are addictive. I just got to ride it out for now. I need to learn to think ahead!!
Well, walking out of the meeting, I was hit with a panic attack. Very intense. For the last few years, it was these anxiety attacks that had me running to the liquor store. I was within minutes of buying booze. I don't want to drink at all but I know a few beers will stop these attacks. Heart palpitations, racing thoughts, paranoia. Every sober stretch I have had over the last few years has been ruined by these attacks.
With my ADHD and poor impulse control, it is very difficult not to give in to that first impulse: drink. I am self-aware now and caught myself. Wow, that was hard.
I should probably have a supply of valium or something on hand for these moments. Alcohol has very similar effects as benzodiazepines I have read. Although both are addictive. I just got to ride it out for now. I need to learn to think ahead!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I'm glad you got through that Canuck. I, too, deal with anxiety and panic attacks. I think you will find, as your recovery continues, it becomes more manageable. Here are some tips, followed by some books that really helped me learn healthy ways to deal with anxiety and panic attacks:
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH ANXIETY (the American Assoc for Anxiety & Depression)
Take a Time-Out. Try some yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem can help clear your head.
Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand. Limit caffeine.
Get enough sleep/rest. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health. Use an iPod or exercise buddy to help you stick to your routine.
Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Belly-Breathing: Sit comfortably with shoulders, head and neck relaxed. Breath in slowly through your nose so that your stomach expands. Tighten stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn’t possible, be proud of however close you get.
Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
Welcome humour. A good laugh goes a long way.
Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school or something else you can’t identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed. Look for a pattern.
Talk to someone. Tell friends/family you’re feeling overwhelmed and let them know how they can help. Talk to a professional.
Books
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
The 9th Step Promises pages 83 & 84 of the Big Book
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
💕Keep working the steps and stay sober and these promises will come true 💕
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
💕Keep working the steps and stay sober and these promises will come true 💕
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Canuck76 
I don't want to drink at all but I know a few beers will stop these attacks.
I should probably have a supply of valium or something on hand for these moments.
I should probably have a supply of valium or something on hand for these moments.
did a few beers truly help?if they did ya wouldnt keep having them.
would valium be a good idea? its pretty much alcohol in pill form.
it seems something that may have caused the attack was
During the meeting, a flood of memories came flooding back. Events that happened while drunk or on drugs etc.
i found a great solution by working the program. facing my past and learning from it- learning why i was who i was and how to change.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
The beers did help, temporarily that is. But that just sent me off on a binge. The anxiety just hibernating until I try to sober up again.
I am under extreme stress however. I don't know how to handle it. I will just accept it. Alcohol is the main catalyst of it all. 5 days is a great start. Normally, if I get this far without drinking, I can resist. Up until day 3 is torture but I am past the worst of it.
I am playing the tape forward. Far forward now.
I am under extreme stress however. I don't know how to handle it. I will just accept it. Alcohol is the main catalyst of it all. 5 days is a great start. Normally, if I get this far without drinking, I can resist. Up until day 3 is torture but I am past the worst of it.
I am playing the tape forward. Far forward now.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
My anxiety attacks stopped almost completely once I'd been sober a few weeks. Now, I'm not saying that's going to happen for you, but it might. Worth a try, yes? Turned out that for me, the alcohol was the main cause of my anxiety. I was even on anti-anxiety meds for it, but they didn't work well while I was still drinking. Tapered off of them at 6 months sober. Probably could have done it sooner but I was up against some stressful legal stuff and didn't think it was wise to try getting off them in the midst of that.
Give it some time. If you are still having anxiety/panic attacks after a couple of months sober, maybe check in with a doctor to see if some anti-anxiety meds could help? And I don't mean valium or xanax. I mean like Paxil or something.
Anna's suggestions for riding out an attack are great - if you can teach yourself to do those things instead of reaching for a bottle you'll be winning in so many ways.
Give it some time. If you are still having anxiety/panic attacks after a couple of months sober, maybe check in with a doctor to see if some anti-anxiety meds could help? And I don't mean valium or xanax. I mean like Paxil or something.
Anna's suggestions for riding out an attack are great - if you can teach yourself to do those things instead of reaching for a bottle you'll be winning in so many ways.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 141
Have you talked to a doctor? I know two guys that have anxiety issues and they have these little tiny white pills. The first time I had a panic attack was with them and one of them gave me one of the pills and it chilled me right out. Not high or anything, just made the anxiety go away.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Hi Canuck - so glad you didn't drink 
I've dealt with panic attacks for many years - I decided I would prefer not to use meds.
I do a lot of deep breathing.
I practice the techniques so that they're almost second nature because as you'd know a panic attack is not time to be trying out new techniques.
Have you tried any of that?
D
I've dealt with panic attacks for many years - I decided I would prefer not to use meds.
I do a lot of deep breathing.
I practice the techniques so that they're almost second nature because as you'd know a panic attack is not time to be trying out new techniques.
Have you tried any of that?
D
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