kiki26

Stayed too late at a child’s party, which turned into an adult drunk fest. My husband was drinking and having fun and I don’t know if I was trying to prove that I could still be fun and hang out or just didn’t know how to make an early exit. But I left feeling like crap, feeling like the whole world drinks and I will be forever an outcast (I so know this is not true, but the feelings still came). I was also around a few people who I had been verbally abusive too this summer while drunk, so I also felt paranoid the entire time too. I should have made a plan. I should have been prepared. I didn’t drink, and didn’t consider it, but now I’m left feeling emotionally hung over. Lesson learned, just needed to vent to people who understand

2muchpain

you should give yourself a lot of credit for getting through a very tough situation. like you said, next time you will be more prepared. john

WaterOx

Hi Kiki! Yes I know how you feel all too well. I just wrote a similar post yesterday
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...out-lunch.html (Day 26: first time going out to "lunch")

It really left a bad taste in my mouth. I am trying to learn from it and be better prepared for it the next time, even if that means turning down invitations.

I think we can both feel good about not drinking. Thanks for sharing and letting me and others that we are not going through this alone.

Anna

Kiki, it's great that you got through the party situation without drinking. Be proud of yourself for that. But, I think you're right about planning. It's so important for those difficult times, to have a plan in place.

yinzer

Well, you probably weren’t verbally abusive to anyone, and you didn’t drink, so good for you! The whole world does not drink, they just do things other than get trashed at kids’ birthday parties.

WeThinkNot

Thanks for sharing Kiki.

Work was slow on Friday so I went to the mall for lunch and a walk. I decided on a fast casual burger place that I had never tried before. I place my order for a burger, fries, and coke and the girl working the counter teases me, "you sure you don't want a beer?" The comment took me off guard and I was noticeably frazzled. She then took a swig of beer from her plastic cup. I hadn't even noticed that this place had beer on tap.

Like a spaz I just mumbled "sorry I don't drink". It got real awkward and then she sheepishly said "oh ok I'm sorry".

I meditated on this incident this weekend because it had obviously upset me but I didn't know why. I'm not craving alcohol. Even if I was, I absolutely hate beer. Whiskey and cognac were my vices. I can go out to social events and be around drinkers without being bothered.

I think it was a combination of two things. The first being that the comment caught me completely off guard. The second being how casually she asked me if I wanted a beer. She had no clue that an innocuous comment could have a different meaning to somebody who has had struggles in the past.

I can totally relate to your story Kiki.

dwtbd

we think not
Your post reminded me of a post/observation I made once.

I had been waiting for my wife to get home from work as we were heading out for a long beach weekend. I was finishing up so yard work , saw her coming down the driveway , exchanged a very pleasant marital greeting all smiles.
She innocently enough asked where the cooler was since she had some adult beverages to pack and wanted to keep them cold.

I got instantly upset surprising us both , it happened so fast it took me aback for a moment. I then realized it was one of if not the first time , that I had been going along about my ordinary day , looking forward to some weekend time off and had not been contemplating even on the 'periphery' the idea of 'not drinking' , and the suggestion of the cooler blindsided me brought to the fore the idea that I was a purposeful nondrinker , it shattered a blissful ignorance, an unconscious ignorance until attention was directed to the subject of booze.

It rattled me, not for long but in that moment wow.

No point here, just reminded of it.

mariposa

lessgravity

Like most of us, I can completely relate and understand what you went through. But also like others have told you on this thread, what's important is that you got through it, however you did. The pain of what we did when we drank and the discomfort that we feel around people who are still drinking, those are things that are just going to be part of our lives as far as I can tell. Things do get better, as everyone says here, and as I can testify to myself. But it's not always easy and it's not always fun. Congratulations on getting through. And thanks for sharing.

Soberwolf

Accord1

I just got home from doing the same thing. Went to the casino for an innocent birthday party. When I was done I figured why not hit the slots real quick. It's funny I never even thought about all the booze that goes along with it. I was there for five minutes and the waitress had already come up to me offering a free drink. I live close to a large casino. When I was drinking I can't begin to tell you some of the stuff that went down there. Copious amounts of sauce whether you're winning or losing, all free. Brought me right back in time. But I didn't drink.

kiki26

kiki26

Suzieq17

Be proud of yourself for not drinking!!!! Have a plan for next time, but good for you not drinking!

Finalround

RIGHT???

It would be great if we could go back to just having fun like a kid.

Dee74

I'm sorry that happened but I'm glad you got through it kiki.

I have nothing against drinkers per se and I know not everyone drinks like me, but I still can't really get my head around drinking at a kids party.

D