willing to start
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Ontario
Posts: 11
willing to start
I am, I guess, a Foodie. My husband and I enjoy cooking together. We like to go to restaurants and try new and different dishes. Often we'll go home and Google a recipe and try it ourselves. Food plays such a big roll in our lives. Unfortunately for me, I can't control my eating. I eat to comfort myself, distract myself, help myself relax. And I don't just snack. I eat until I'm so full I can't move and then I fall asleep. I hate the way I feel when I'm so full and sick and ashamed. I've never been able to make myself throw-up. I often wish I could unzip my belly and clean it all out. Instead I just ride the roller-coaster. I wake up each morning determined to eat properly. I know what I need to do. I get lots of exercise and fresh air. I eat healthy foods, high in fibre, lots of colour and nutrients but it seems like, when I feel most clean and well, that's when I most desperately want to be ridiculously, brutally, overly full. I've tried again and again to pick myself up, dust myself off and get a grip but the cravings for sugar, then salt, then crunchy, then smooth, then deep-fried, then fresh...all those delicious contrasts, day after day after day until my clothes won't fit and my face is puffy and grey and I can't sleep at night for waking up sweating with shame and anxiety. I eat until I absolutely hate food and I hate myself. So today I'm trying this new thing. What if I take this really seriously? What if I say "Maybe it's not just a shameful lack of will power I'm dealing with here? Maybe it's something a bit more complicated..."
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome!
maybe start out small. I know for me small changes can lead to more small which can lead to big results!!!
Can you just for today, say not eat past 6 pm? Drink plenty of water
Or, to turn it positive, here is a list of food I can eat, the greens, fruits, veggies, etc... and stick to just that list just for today and see how you feel and then evaluate what you want to do tomorrow? Stay on the same track or try taking away another thing and replacing it with an "I can eat this"
Blessings,
DC
maybe start out small. I know for me small changes can lead to more small which can lead to big results!!!
Can you just for today, say not eat past 6 pm? Drink plenty of water
Or, to turn it positive, here is a list of food I can eat, the greens, fruits, veggies, etc... and stick to just that list just for today and see how you feel and then evaluate what you want to do tomorrow? Stay on the same track or try taking away another thing and replacing it with an "I can eat this"
Blessings,
DC
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
It is complicated, I am sure. And I believe people can be "addicted" to food.
My dad railed against my drug use and drinking. But before he died I think he finally recognized that his relationship with food was similar to mine with substances.
Originally Posted by rachiecando 
So today I'm trying this new thing. What if I take this really seriously? What if I say "Maybe it's not just a shameful lack of will power I'm dealing with here? Maybe it's something a bit more complicated..."
My dad railed against my drug use and drinking. But before he died I think he finally recognized that his relationship with food was similar to mine with substances.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Do you find you have trigger 'substances'? You mentioned sugar and salt? Pretty common. I have found that sugar is somewhat similar to alcohol for me. Once I start, I have trouble stopping. I can, but I don't want to. And I will crave sugar if I eat it regularly. Remove it, and I'm ok.
I have also found that processed foods are very addictive. I mean, they are designed to be. Consider the cheeto. It has everything you described...salty, crunchy, fried, but then dissolves quickly so it doesn't require much chewing. Probably has sugar too...don't know, I just assume.
I haven't met many people that binge on vegetables, healthy fats (like avocados), low glycemic fruits, raw nuts. But enter fried, sugary, carb laden and all bets are off. My hair stylist is literally the only person I have ever met who will binge on even healthy food. She has lost 70 lbs and she is following a podcast, I think its called something like losing 100 lbs or something like that. The person really focuses on the addictive aspects of eating. Anyway, I'm sure there are lots of good youtube videos too that might inspire.
If the whole foodie culture is where the problems starts, you may have to change your lifestyle. Its really much like alcohol for me. My hub was my drinking buddy. We loved wine tasting, micro breweries.....all that stuff. Art and wine festivals. Well, that's all gone now. I can't do it and continue to be sober. And now, I don't even want to. But back then, alcohol was my hobby. Man I think it was a competitive sport for me.
You might have to change your whole viewpoint on food. You eat to live, not live to eat. I used to live to drink. Until it was going to kill me.
I have also found that processed foods are very addictive. I mean, they are designed to be. Consider the cheeto. It has everything you described...salty, crunchy, fried, but then dissolves quickly so it doesn't require much chewing. Probably has sugar too...don't know, I just assume.
I haven't met many people that binge on vegetables, healthy fats (like avocados), low glycemic fruits, raw nuts. But enter fried, sugary, carb laden and all bets are off. My hair stylist is literally the only person I have ever met who will binge on even healthy food. She has lost 70 lbs and she is following a podcast, I think its called something like losing 100 lbs or something like that. The person really focuses on the addictive aspects of eating. Anyway, I'm sure there are lots of good youtube videos too that might inspire.
If the whole foodie culture is where the problems starts, you may have to change your lifestyle. Its really much like alcohol for me. My hub was my drinking buddy. We loved wine tasting, micro breweries.....all that stuff. Art and wine festivals. Well, that's all gone now. I can't do it and continue to be sober. And now, I don't even want to. But back then, alcohol was my hobby. Man I think it was a competitive sport for me.
You might have to change your whole viewpoint on food. You eat to live, not live to eat. I used to live to drink. Until it was going to kill me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Ontario
Posts: 11
I read all of your kind responses to my first post. Thank you all for caring. I'm crying right now. (My dog is concerned by the sound. I'm not a regular crier. He's not sure what to make of it. ) I am so moved. I didn't know how much I needed to be understood.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 985
My addictions have revolved around being a "foodie" too. That is how I justified drinking hundreds of dollars of expensive wine/liquor with a gourmet meal. I spent my entire paycheck on finding the best new restaurants; it was also my pricey hobby. In the last eighteen days sober, I have saved so much money and lost nearly ten pounds since Jan 1. You can feel better! You came to the right place.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome to you. I felt such pain and understanding with the way you described your addiction. I don't have issues with food but am addicted to alcohol. I remember a therapist I had who was helping me with my alcoholism. She told me that she was addicted to sweets and could not control herself unless she stayed very strict with herself. She said in times of stress she would lock herself in the bathroom and eat a kilo of chocolate in minutes. Then of course she felt terrible. Coming up with various coping mechanisms helped.
There are some things you can do when the urge to binge (on food, or alcohol, or drugs....) hits.
Contact with water is very helpful. We were created and spent our first 9 months in the womb surrounded by liquid. If you can take a shower that is good. If you are not in a place you can fully bathe you can run cold water over the insides of your wrists, wash your hands very thoroughly, splash water on your face or the back of your neck.
Getting your blood pumping is also another good tactic. Run in place really hard for a few minutes, lift heavy weights, go for a bike ride.
Deep breathing is another. Concentrate fully on your breath. In and out.
I am sure there other tactics specific to food, I hope that someone comes along and posts them.
There are some things you can do when the urge to binge (on food, or alcohol, or drugs....) hits.
Contact with water is very helpful. We were created and spent our first 9 months in the womb surrounded by liquid. If you can take a shower that is good. If you are not in a place you can fully bathe you can run cold water over the insides of your wrists, wash your hands very thoroughly, splash water on your face or the back of your neck.
Getting your blood pumping is also another good tactic. Run in place really hard for a few minutes, lift heavy weights, go for a bike ride.
Deep breathing is another. Concentrate fully on your breath. In and out.
I am sure there other tactics specific to food, I hope that someone comes along and posts them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Ontario
Posts: 11
What he doesn't know...
My husband and I both work from home but several days a week he drives to a town half an hour away to touch base with his staff. On the way home last week he stopped at a little specialty country grocery store to pick up a litre of my favourite Maple Ice Cream. Each evening we have been enjoying a small bowl after supper. (The kids don't like it so that makes it extra special somehow.) I eat mine slowly with a small spoon. My husband looks on with relief, happy that I have things under control again. What he doesn't know is that this is actually the third carton of Maple Ice Cream. He brought the first one home last Wednesday. By Thursday afternoon I had eaten the whole thing. I drove to the little country store and bought a new one. I ate two bowls worth out of it and put it back in the freezer. All weekend I paced past the freezer thinking about that ice cream. When my husband left for the office on Monday morning, I sat down and ate my way to the bottom of the second carton. When I drove back over to the store to buy a third one the lady at the til recognized me. "Oh!" she laughed, "You must REALLY love this stuff!" I smiled and said cheerfully, "Oh we do! The whole family loves it! My mother was over on the weekend and we offered her some and she enjoyed it so much I thought I'd stop by and pick up a litre for her." (A complete and total lie.)
I'm going to have to find another store that sells this same brand of Gourmet Maple Ice Cream.
This is just one of many stories I have of hiding food, running around covering my tracks. Lying, feeling ashamed. My husband knows about my struggles and he tries to understand but he doesn't have the same relationship with food that I do. He can eat one bowl of ice cream and be satisfied. I am beginning to realize that ice cream might be one of my triggers. If I start I just can't stop. It seems ridiculous that I'd have to ask him not to bring it home for me anymore, but I think I might have to.
Last night I sat down and made a list of all the foods that I think might be triggers for me. Thanks for the heads-up, Frickaflip233. You've got me onto something really useful here.
I'm going to have to find another store that sells this same brand of Gourmet Maple Ice Cream.
This is just one of many stories I have of hiding food, running around covering my tracks. Lying, feeling ashamed. My husband knows about my struggles and he tries to understand but he doesn't have the same relationship with food that I do. He can eat one bowl of ice cream and be satisfied. I am beginning to realize that ice cream might be one of my triggers. If I start I just can't stop. It seems ridiculous that I'd have to ask him not to bring it home for me anymore, but I think I might have to.
Last night I sat down and made a list of all the foods that I think might be triggers for me. Thanks for the heads-up, Frickaflip233. You've got me onto something really useful here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
My dad railed against my drug use and drinking. But before he died I think he finally recognized that his relationship with food was similar to mine with substances.
The thing about over eating is that you can't go cold turkey, so one common method for overcoming an addition is taken off the table.
Walk on
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 68
I used to have to lose weight regularly for boxing. Heres what worked for me.
I ate multiple snacks through the day of 200 calories each. Meals of 300 - 400calories.
I didnt eat super healthy because it soon becomes a chore, instead any pasta or bread I ate was wholemeal and I cut out sugar and big portions.
And I ALWAYS ate 2 slices of wholemeal toast for breakfast as soon as I woke up. I tried fasting, i tried keto so many times I lost count, i tried high carb high protein, I tried so many diets but the only thing that worked for me was mini meals. Like, if I go out and eat a 1300calorie meal of pasta i won't feel satisfied and my attention will be on my stomach, however if I eat a small 350 - 400 calorie portion I feel fine after because I know in 2 - 3 hours I can snack again. I think big meals cause me digestive discomfort and that attention grabbing feeling gets confused for hunger.
Example day:
Wholemeal toast x2 for breakfast - 200 calories
Pasta with mince beef in low calorie sauce - 500cal
Wholemeal toast x2 or some fruit as a snack - 100 or 200 calories
Toasted minced beef or chicken sandwich (with seasoning for taste) 350calories
Only at 1250calories so far, i would probably use another 450 for pasta and some kind of meat with a little bit of broccoli and then some toast with peanut butter or meat for supper. Make sure you are hydrated but dont drink too much as too much liquid will interfere with the satiety signals.
I tried eating HUGE meals for intermittent fasting, I tried eating super high fiber, I tried everything and I always struggled with my weight. This way of eating is what works for me. Mini meals little and often, always eat wholemeal, always eat breakfast and stay the hell away from sugar and fatty foods. I used to binge food also btw, I know how you feel.
Oh yeah and ice cream is definitely a trigger, sugar has that effect on our body to the point where rats were so addicted to sugar water that they chose it over regular food even though the sugar water was electrified.
I ate multiple snacks through the day of 200 calories each. Meals of 300 - 400calories.
I didnt eat super healthy because it soon becomes a chore, instead any pasta or bread I ate was wholemeal and I cut out sugar and big portions.
And I ALWAYS ate 2 slices of wholemeal toast for breakfast as soon as I woke up. I tried fasting, i tried keto so many times I lost count, i tried high carb high protein, I tried so many diets but the only thing that worked for me was mini meals. Like, if I go out and eat a 1300calorie meal of pasta i won't feel satisfied and my attention will be on my stomach, however if I eat a small 350 - 400 calorie portion I feel fine after because I know in 2 - 3 hours I can snack again. I think big meals cause me digestive discomfort and that attention grabbing feeling gets confused for hunger.
Example day:
Wholemeal toast x2 for breakfast - 200 calories
Pasta with mince beef in low calorie sauce - 500cal
Wholemeal toast x2 or some fruit as a snack - 100 or 200 calories
Toasted minced beef or chicken sandwich (with seasoning for taste) 350calories
Only at 1250calories so far, i would probably use another 450 for pasta and some kind of meat with a little bit of broccoli and then some toast with peanut butter or meat for supper. Make sure you are hydrated but dont drink too much as too much liquid will interfere with the satiety signals.
I tried eating HUGE meals for intermittent fasting, I tried eating super high fiber, I tried everything and I always struggled with my weight. This way of eating is what works for me. Mini meals little and often, always eat wholemeal, always eat breakfast and stay the hell away from sugar and fatty foods. I used to binge food also btw, I know how you feel.
Oh yeah and ice cream is definitely a trigger, sugar has that effect on our body to the point where rats were so addicted to sugar water that they chose it over regular food even though the sugar water was electrified.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Ontario
Posts: 11
I'm not sure this is the right site for me. When I read some of the posts I feel ashamed. My problem seems sort of dumb. I never experience things like black-outs. I never have to worry about DUI's. Food hasn't really ruined my life, I guess. I'm not even really all that much over-weight. I'm about 5'6" and I generally weigh around 145lbs. So I'm plump but not dangerously so.
The thing is, my sister struggles with alcohol addiction. She hasn't always. Due to crazy life circumstances she started to drink heavily in 2012.
When she realized that she had a problem we began to talk about it. I found I could very easily understand where she was coming from. I began to share some of my experiences with over-eating and we noticed quite a number of similarities.
We are close and it's hard for me to watch her struggle. She mostly hides it from me, I think. She has her pride. She's a very together person. She has always been much more in control of herself than I ever have been.
When we were growing up she always had a naturally slim and athletic build. All of my family was built that way, actually. Except me. I've always been a bit chubby. And my family looked down on me for it. They viewed me as being somewhat weak.
They would shake their heads and say things like, "Just stop eating..."
One day I was in a bar and a guy offered to buy me a drink. I said no thank you, I'd had enough. He and his buddies were impressed that I'd only had two and I was ready to stop. He said "Wow, you're a lot stronger than I am!" That's when it dawned on me.
I am not strong because I don't drink excessively. It's not a challenge for me at all. Alcohol simply doesn't call to me.
Food is what has always had me enslaved.
So what makes a person strong, I guess, is not so much being able to resist a thing that doesn't really draw her in in the first place. What makes a person strong is finding her way back from being lost in the swampy hell of her own compulsions; step by simple step walking back out of the choking fog of her addiction towards a healthy sense of normalcy, a sense of rest and calm and productivity.
I am so blessed to be walking that walk with my sister at my side.
She is the one who found this site. She suggested I sign up and give it a try. So here I am.
The thing is, my sister struggles with alcohol addiction. She hasn't always. Due to crazy life circumstances she started to drink heavily in 2012.
When she realized that she had a problem we began to talk about it. I found I could very easily understand where she was coming from. I began to share some of my experiences with over-eating and we noticed quite a number of similarities.
We are close and it's hard for me to watch her struggle. She mostly hides it from me, I think. She has her pride. She's a very together person. She has always been much more in control of herself than I ever have been.
When we were growing up she always had a naturally slim and athletic build. All of my family was built that way, actually. Except me. I've always been a bit chubby. And my family looked down on me for it. They viewed me as being somewhat weak.
They would shake their heads and say things like, "Just stop eating..."
One day I was in a bar and a guy offered to buy me a drink. I said no thank you, I'd had enough. He and his buddies were impressed that I'd only had two and I was ready to stop. He said "Wow, you're a lot stronger than I am!" That's when it dawned on me.
I am not strong because I don't drink excessively. It's not a challenge for me at all. Alcohol simply doesn't call to me.
Food is what has always had me enslaved.
So what makes a person strong, I guess, is not so much being able to resist a thing that doesn't really draw her in in the first place. What makes a person strong is finding her way back from being lost in the swampy hell of her own compulsions; step by simple step walking back out of the choking fog of her addiction towards a healthy sense of normalcy, a sense of rest and calm and productivity.
I am so blessed to be walking that walk with my sister at my side.
She is the one who found this site. She suggested I sign up and give it a try. So here I am.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Welcome to SR.
Al-anon is a 12 step support group for friends and family members of alcoholics. We're affected by this family disease in many ways.
http://www.al-anon.org/
Overeaters Anonymous is available in many places.
https://oa.org/
I know of several people who go to both. All is well. There are steps, people who've been there and many ways to find healing. One day at a time. (((hugs)))
Al-anon is a 12 step support group for friends and family members of alcoholics. We're affected by this family disease in many ways.
http://www.al-anon.org/
Overeaters Anonymous is available in many places.
https://oa.org/
I know of several people who go to both. All is well. There are steps, people who've been there and many ways to find healing. One day at a time. (((hugs)))
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Specific dietary issues and regimens could very well be put in a 'medical' advice space, so this site may not be best suited to you , in that vein.
But how you describe your reactions to your over indulgence, guiltily looking forward, ravenous indulgence and followed by soul crushing guilt and having that cycle seemingly uncontrollably repeat , I'd say this place has a lot to offer you .
I read your posts and felt what you felt , the only difference was bourbon instead of maple ice cream.
You can beat this, rootin for ya
But how you describe your reactions to your over indulgence, guiltily looking forward, ravenous indulgence and followed by soul crushing guilt and having that cycle seemingly uncontrollably repeat , I'd say this place has a lot to offer you .
I read your posts and felt what you felt , the only difference was bourbon instead of maple ice cream.
You can beat this, rootin for ya
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm not sure this is the right site for me. When I read some of the posts I feel ashamed. My problem seems sort of dumb. I never experience things like black-outs. I never have to worry about DUI's. Food hasn't really ruined my life, I guess. I'm not even really all that much over-weight. I'm about 5'6" and I generally weigh around 145lbs. So I'm plump but not dangerously so.
Originally Posted by dwtbd
Specific dietary issues and regimens could very well be put in a 'medical' advice space, so this site may not be best suited to you , in that vein.
We actually have an 'eating disorders' forum Rachie. (not the greatest name in the world but some really good posts down there)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/eating-disorders/
Its not very busy but you are very welcome to read and post there - and you're very welcome to read and post here too.
There's an existing food addiction support thread in our other newcomers forum here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-3-a-9.html
Your problem is as real as anyone elses here - once again, you are very welcome
D
Last edited by Dee74; 01-20-2019 at 04:50 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 293
After reading your post it amazes me how similar your addiction is to an alcohol or drug addiction. You may list some things that are not "as bad" but it still totally disrupts your life, leaves you feeling out of control and causes you deep unhappiness. I'd say share here as well as the link Dee74 gave you.
There is such a community of support which has been a huge help for me.
There is such a community of support which has been a huge help for me.
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