Wombaticus

My partner has always been a drinker but he has been increasing his intake steadily over the years. Over Dec/Jan he drank 2 bottles of wine a night for about a month. We recently discussed our worsening marriage. He blames me for making it 'implode' several years ago when I started working more and a few other things - all my fault. He blames his worsening relationships with his friends on them being 'hopeless'. He blames his poor relationship with his school-aged children on them. Gosh when you actually write this stuff down, it's confronting. Do people ever take steps to become sober, or is it usually an external prompt - medical condition, relationship breakdown, trouble with the law? Thanks for your caring forum. X

doggonecarl

Sorry for what brings you here.

It depends.

I quit without any of the external prompts you mentioned. And I've known those who have had all of them, and more, and still drink.

I think it comes down to the alcoholic accepting they have a problem wanting to quit for themselves.

DreamCatcher17

Welcome,

When I was in active addiction I would blame everyone for everything but myself. It gave me a good excuse to continue to drink, awe, poor me, nobody like me, Nobody can fit into the way I want them too... ETC...

The thing about an addict, is they have to want to recover for themselves.
Sometimes it does take losing everything before truly wanting to be sober.

I would suggest the family forum for you, maybe some Alanon and be kind to you as you are doing the best you can with someone who is on the total defense.

Blessings,
DC

Dee74

I';m sorry for what brings you here wombaticus but I know you'll find support.

I blamed everyone but myself fr a lot of years - but I got sober eventually and shouldered the responsibility for my own life. I hope your husband will too

D

secret81

I quit because I was tired of waking up feeling sooo bad, plus I know its hard on my body.

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation. Different people recover for different reasons.

Do check out AlAnon in your area as a support for you.

trailmix

Hi Wombaticus. You might want to also check out the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum here at SR - lots of info in the stickies at the top of the forum and of course in the forum itself, welcome.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

duane1

Your husband sounds like me 6 years ago. One thing I will say is confronting him about it will do nothing and in my case it seemed to further fuel my drinking. I strongly suggest AlAnon. They may give you a strong insight into the mind of an alcoholic and constructive ways to deal with it. I myself quit after having a medical scare. Without that I am not sure if I would have been able to quit. Even then it took everything I had to get out of the hole I dug. It is no joke how alcohol can take over your mind. Unfortunately, you can only see it after you have quit.