greetings from the nyc metro area
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 8
greetings from the nyc metro area
Wanted to introduce myself to the members.
41 male from the nyc metro area. Still married surprisingly & employed. I would have left myself with all the complete and utter nonsense I have done over the years.
My challenges have always been with alcohol.
2 dwi’s under my belt. Last one 10 years ago. Binge drinker most of my adult life.. Typically drink until I pass out or the alcohol is gone. Whether this is at pubs, restaurants or my home. Weekend warrior are my habits.
I moved myself to an area with the plenty of pubs & restaurants after my last dwi years ago.(smart right) Proceeded to move back to the burbs once married.Uber, Lyft or taxi have been transportation on my drinking excursions the past few years.
The past 5 weekends I have reached new lows regarding money spent, alcohol consumed & days to recover.
My wife who drinks rarely continues to support me for reasons that I have difficulty understanding.
This past Saturday night was rough. I was out at the pubs starting around 4 pm and got home at 1230 am.(not what married men should be doing) According to my wife & I drank until around 430 am Sunday morning.
so here I am.
My wife is upset, worried with my actions Saturday night into Sunday morning.She believes that I want to leave her.
thinking clearly tonight, I decided to make a post.
cheer me up
reading this portal & understanding that different people have various alcohol challenges, this is mine.
41 male from the nyc metro area. Still married surprisingly & employed. I would have left myself with all the complete and utter nonsense I have done over the years.
My challenges have always been with alcohol.
2 dwi’s under my belt. Last one 10 years ago. Binge drinker most of my adult life.. Typically drink until I pass out or the alcohol is gone. Whether this is at pubs, restaurants or my home. Weekend warrior are my habits.
I moved myself to an area with the plenty of pubs & restaurants after my last dwi years ago.(smart right) Proceeded to move back to the burbs once married.Uber, Lyft or taxi have been transportation on my drinking excursions the past few years.
The past 5 weekends I have reached new lows regarding money spent, alcohol consumed & days to recover.
My wife who drinks rarely continues to support me for reasons that I have difficulty understanding.
This past Saturday night was rough. I was out at the pubs starting around 4 pm and got home at 1230 am.(not what married men should be doing) According to my wife & I drank until around 430 am Sunday morning.
so here I am.
My wife is upset, worried with my actions Saturday night into Sunday morning.She believes that I want to leave her.
thinking clearly tonight, I decided to make a post.
cheer me up
reading this portal & understanding that different people have various alcohol challenges, this is mine.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Wonderful to meet you, WarmRain.
I drank 30 yrs. & when I came here I was feeling much as you do tonight. I read around and was so relieved to find fantastic friendship and understanding. No one else in my life had a clue as to what I was going through. I hope you'll stay with us - you are never alone.
I drank 30 yrs. & when I came here I was feeling much as you do tonight. I read around and was so relieved to find fantastic friendship and understanding. No one else in my life had a clue as to what I was going through. I hope you'll stay with us - you are never alone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,964
Welcome, warm rain. It is nice to meet you!
From my experience, my drinking was just going to get worse and worse if I had continued. A recovered friend of mine told me long ago that alcohol starts out fun, then it’s fun with problems, then it’s just problems. My health was starting to deteriorate. I was making poor choices, driving under the influence, drinking in the morning, drinking before work meetings. All of this while I thought I was doing ok moderating. Clearly I was not thinking rationally.
I hope you are planning on total sobriety rather than moderating. Sober life is so much better all the way!
Do you have a plan?
SR is a great start
From my experience, my drinking was just going to get worse and worse if I had continued. A recovered friend of mine told me long ago that alcohol starts out fun, then it’s fun with problems, then it’s just problems. My health was starting to deteriorate. I was making poor choices, driving under the influence, drinking in the morning, drinking before work meetings. All of this while I thought I was doing ok moderating. Clearly I was not thinking rationally.
I hope you are planning on total sobriety rather than moderating. Sober life is so much better all the way!
Do you have a plan?
SR is a great start
I got sober over nine years ago and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 8
appreciate the quick responses.
no exact plans on my next steps.
my crutch will be this weekend as is every weekend.
i told my wife I am exploring maybe attending a local A.A. meeting. She told me that she would come.
i am not really a religious person & I hear A.A. pushes this sorta agenda.
going to take it day by day.
no exact plans on my next steps.
my crutch will be this weekend as is every weekend.
i told my wife I am exploring maybe attending a local A.A. meeting. She told me that she would come.
i am not really a religious person & I hear A.A. pushes this sorta agenda.
going to take it day by day.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I'm not currently in AA, but have been in the past, and I know that the program of AA is spiritual, not religious. However, many members of AA are religious and bring that with them into the meetings. So you can say that AA is a spiritual program with some religious members.
It is possible to get a lot of good out of AA, whether or not you're religious. The only thing required for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
It is possible to get a lot of good out of AA, whether or not you're religious. The only thing required for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
I was a much heavier drinker than you, but can relate.
It took complete abstinence from alcohol for me to get my life in order.
You can do it, too. You'll find a lot of support here from all kinds of people so I hope you stick around.
It sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life. Have you tried quitting?
I hope you give AA a chance. It certainly doesn't push religion on anyone.
Best to you.
I was a much heavier drinker than you, but can relate.
It took complete abstinence from alcohol for me to get my life in order.
You can do it, too. You'll find a lot of support here from all kinds of people so I hope you stick around.
It sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life. Have you tried quitting?
I hope you give AA a chance. It certainly doesn't push religion on anyone.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Hi and welcome. It was overwhelming for me to realize, then accept, then put into action, that I needed to stop, and took me a long time to get right. When I did it, it was transformative. This site is an invaluable resource.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 8
Regarding the question of quitting or have I tried in the past.
I constantly tell myself & my wife that I am done.
call it what you want, but I don’t have much success.
Where I am at in my life now & the what I don’t want to occur, I am committed to quitting.
trying to figure out if this is out patient sessions at a center on the weekends or another avenue.
I constantly tell myself & my wife that I am done.
call it what you want, but I don’t have much success.
Where I am at in my life now & the what I don’t want to occur, I am committed to quitting.
trying to figure out if this is out patient sessions at a center on the weekends or another avenue.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Finding this place was a good first step, lots of great advice here, read around , come back , post , ask and come back
I found success as soon as I switched my mind set from being committed to quitting , to being committed to being quit. I know that sounds like a semantic trick or gimmick, but if you think about it that really is the gist .
Again welcome aboard and hope to see you around.
I found success as soon as I switched my mind set from being committed to quitting , to being committed to being quit. I know that sounds like a semantic trick or gimmick, but if you think about it that really is the gist .
Again welcome aboard and hope to see you around.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome to SR! You will find lots of support on here. I finally stopped drinking right after turning 45, and the only regret I have is not stopping much sooner. I've been sober just over three years, and this forum has been my biggest support. Spend some time reading and posting, think about what might help you to stay sober.
Looking forward to seeing your posts.
Looking forward to seeing your posts.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Originally Posted by WarmRain 
Regarding the question of quitting or have I tried in the past.
I constantly tell myself & my wife that I am done.
call it what you want, but I don’t have much success.
Where I am at in my life now & the what I don’t want to occur, I am committed to quitting.
trying to figure out if this is out patient sessions at a center on the weekends or another avenue.
I constantly tell myself & my wife that I am done.
call it what you want, but I don’t have much success.
Where I am at in my life now & the what I don’t want to occur, I am committed to quitting.
trying to figure out if this is out patient sessions at a center on the weekends or another avenue.
Welcome aboard Warmrain.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Welcome. SR is an incredible place, you will see.
AA is a spiritual program not religious, but as someone said before, people sometimes bring their faith into the rooms. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. It works for some, not for all. I find a combo of being here and AA really work for me.
I hope you find a good combination. Excellent start!
Jules
AA is a spiritual program not religious, but as someone said before, people sometimes bring their faith into the rooms. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. It works for some, not for all. I find a combo of being here and AA really work for me.
I hope you find a good combination. Excellent start!
Jules
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
It was hard to leave the clubs alone. As a
married wife and mom, I had no business
in there, yet, the music, men, lights, atmosphere
and of course alcohol was calling me.
I wasn't getting what I wanted or needed
at home, so, yes, I went where the action
was. Folks that drank like me.
It wasn't long after a few or more visit to
the club that trouble followed. An accident
at 2 in the morning where I ran off the road
hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the
ground with the EMS cutting me out of the
wreckage and spending 10 days pretty messed
up in the hospital.
From Feb 1990 to Aug 1990, I healed up
quite nicely with no alcohol. Then....right
when I felt the coast was clear, I was right
back at the same club and returning home
at the same time, yet to another argument
but this time, I was beat down. I had hit my
bottom and was sick and tired of feeling
like a looser and not able to keep my butt
home when I drank.
So, on a dare, I took a hand full of pills
downed with alcohol vowing to end my
miserable life. Did I think at that split
moment about the consequences of
my actions? Did I wonder or worry what
would happen to my little family? My
children?
Sadly, no. I was soooo numb from the
affects of poison running thru my system
that I had no feelings. Then off to bed I
went forgetting that my 2 little ones had
their last fun day at bible school the next
day.
When they couldn't wake me up, a
call came in. A ringing of the phone
right next to my bed which seemed
like in a far distant. Groggily I answered
with slurred speak causing alarm from
my mother in law yelling at me to get
up.
I made my way to throw up all I had in
my system and gathered myself together.
Not too long after, I was confronted by
husband to haul me to the hospital to get
my stomach pumped.
With no luck after fighting him off, later
again I was confronted by several officers,
husband and father in law this time. Now I
was lead to the patrol car and seated in the
back of a handless car and a screen separting
me from the officers.
This was family doing for me what I was
certainly incapable of doing for myself.
Their actions saved my life. Their care,
concern and love by placing me into the
hands of those capable of taking care
of me at that time.
Yep, I felt like a criminal, yet tears and
anger kept me quiet and still for the ride
to what I eventually found out was a hospital
for a mental evaluation which I did pass
with them telling me that all was wrong with
me was...… a drinking problem.
I was admitted for a 2 week instay rehab
where I would allow the toxins and posion
to exit my mind and body and be taught about
my addiction.
2 weeks came and went and they were ready
to ship me off to a 3 month out of city halfway
house to finish my program. With pleading not
to send me away from my little family, they
agreed to let me stay where I was and complete
a 28 in stay rehab with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program in which I did.
From there once I returned home, I balanced
out my recovery program with family and did
all that I could possibly do with the tools and
knowledge taught to me to guide me each day
to remain sober some 28 yrs sober now.
Once I got sober and began incorporating
a continuous program of recovery in all
areas of my life, I never returned to the
clubs where im guessing many of those
so called friends could still be there today.
Today, im remarried and still trudging
the road to a happy destiny with many
blessings achieved in sobriety.
married wife and mom, I had no business
in there, yet, the music, men, lights, atmosphere
and of course alcohol was calling me.
I wasn't getting what I wanted or needed
at home, so, yes, I went where the action
was. Folks that drank like me.
It wasn't long after a few or more visit to
the club that trouble followed. An accident
at 2 in the morning where I ran off the road
hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the
ground with the EMS cutting me out of the
wreckage and spending 10 days pretty messed
up in the hospital.
From Feb 1990 to Aug 1990, I healed up
quite nicely with no alcohol. Then....right
when I felt the coast was clear, I was right
back at the same club and returning home
at the same time, yet to another argument
but this time, I was beat down. I had hit my
bottom and was sick and tired of feeling
like a looser and not able to keep my butt
home when I drank.
So, on a dare, I took a hand full of pills
downed with alcohol vowing to end my
miserable life. Did I think at that split
moment about the consequences of
my actions? Did I wonder or worry what
would happen to my little family? My
children?
Sadly, no. I was soooo numb from the
affects of poison running thru my system
that I had no feelings. Then off to bed I
went forgetting that my 2 little ones had
their last fun day at bible school the next
day.
When they couldn't wake me up, a
call came in. A ringing of the phone
right next to my bed which seemed
like in a far distant. Groggily I answered
with slurred speak causing alarm from
my mother in law yelling at me to get
up.
I made my way to throw up all I had in
my system and gathered myself together.
Not too long after, I was confronted by
husband to haul me to the hospital to get
my stomach pumped.
With no luck after fighting him off, later
again I was confronted by several officers,
husband and father in law this time. Now I
was lead to the patrol car and seated in the
back of a handless car and a screen separting
me from the officers.
This was family doing for me what I was
certainly incapable of doing for myself.
Their actions saved my life. Their care,
concern and love by placing me into the
hands of those capable of taking care
of me at that time.
Yep, I felt like a criminal, yet tears and
anger kept me quiet and still for the ride
to what I eventually found out was a hospital
for a mental evaluation which I did pass
with them telling me that all was wrong with
me was...… a drinking problem.
I was admitted for a 2 week instay rehab
where I would allow the toxins and posion
to exit my mind and body and be taught about
my addiction.
2 weeks came and went and they were ready
to ship me off to a 3 month out of city halfway
house to finish my program. With pleading not
to send me away from my little family, they
agreed to let me stay where I was and complete
a 28 in stay rehab with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program in which I did.
From there once I returned home, I balanced
out my recovery program with family and did
all that I could possibly do with the tools and
knowledge taught to me to guide me each day
to remain sober some 28 yrs sober now.
Once I got sober and began incorporating
a continuous program of recovery in all
areas of my life, I never returned to the
clubs where im guessing many of those
so called friends could still be there today.
Today, im remarried and still trudging
the road to a happy destiny with many
blessings achieved in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
WELCOME WR!
A lot of info in the vaious forums. A good thing I kept in mind was to invest all the time I used to give to drinking- the planning, hiding, drinking, isolating...to getting better. If I cannot sleep- I read and research, support and learn here. A 24/7 place.
A lot of info in the vaious forums. A good thing I kept in mind was to invest all the time I used to give to drinking- the planning, hiding, drinking, isolating...to getting better. If I cannot sleep- I read and research, support and learn here. A 24/7 place.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
I am also from the NYC metro area and 39 years old. Lived in Manhattan for 13 years before moving to the suburbs. My alcoholism spiraled completely out of control due to the ease of which I could get to bars and buy booze at the 24 hour bodegas. I moved to the Suburbs in 2012 and I just got worse, luckily I didn't get any DWI's but I was close. I was pulled over once and the cop was nice and let me walk home.
Ultimately I had to make the decision to give up alcohol for good and start repairing the damage done to those around me along with my body. This was after I had been taken to the ER completely unconscious by my wife. I was humiliated and ashamed that I could have let it get this far out of control.
You can start new today right now, make the decision to break up with alcohol and stop letting it control you.
Ultimately I had to make the decision to give up alcohol for good and start repairing the damage done to those around me along with my body. This was after I had been taken to the ER completely unconscious by my wife. I was humiliated and ashamed that I could have let it get this far out of control.
You can start new today right now, make the decision to break up with alcohol and stop letting it control you.
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