New to this site and attempting at sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 2
New to this site and attempting at sobriety
Its been 6 days and I feel alive again. I think its been 45 years of drinking but only the past year has it become terrible.
I have an appetite and energy. Its hard because there is booze all over my house because my husband drinks but not to excess. The world is full of temptations so I will just accept it. Hoping for success
I have an appetite and energy. Its hard because there is booze all over my house because my husband drinks but not to excess. The world is full of temptations so I will just accept it. Hoping for success
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Welcome. You probably should put a more definitive plan in place. With alcohol in the house it is going to be difficult. Keep in mind that that moment will come (and it will come) when your addictive inner voice is going to tell you that "you can have that one drink because you clearly aren't an alcoholic since you stopped for six days on your own." There are so many paths to recovery which include meditation, reading literature, attending recovery meetings, helping other alcoholics, etc. For me, drinking wasn't the problem. It was the solution so I needed to figure out why I wanted to escape and was drinking alcoholically instead of dealing with life's challenges. Just my two cents, but congratulations on six days. Waking up feeling good never gets old.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
After five weeks sober I returned to my house that was full of wine and tequila in the freezer. My roommates drank moderately, I didn't begrudge them. They're normies, I'm not. By that point I was over it. In early sobriety, I don't think it would have been a good idea. Just post detox I wouldn't have been ready.
Everyone is different. Would your husband consider taking the alcohol out of the house, even temporarily, if this becomes and issue for you? Just good to know there's an 'out.'
Everyone is different. Would your husband consider taking the alcohol out of the house, even temporarily, if this becomes and issue for you? Just good to know there's an 'out.'
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome!
You will not regret this decision, I promise you that.
For me, I needed something more than hope. Just hope was not enough. I had to put in work, mentally and physically to better my mental health and physical health.
I went to therapy, I came here a lot, I went to AA when I needed it and I found new friends.
I had to change people, places things.
While I understand your partner is a normie I hope he is able to support you a little bit in the early days (well and beyond) but maybe remove some of the alcohol, or put it somewhere you are not able to see it all the time.
Have you thought of a plan to put into action? We all need help here and there and it is not a weakness as it takes courage to ask.
We got your back
Blessings,
DC
You will not regret this decision, I promise you that.
For me, I needed something more than hope. Just hope was not enough. I had to put in work, mentally and physically to better my mental health and physical health.
I went to therapy, I came here a lot, I went to AA when I needed it and I found new friends.
I had to change people, places things.
While I understand your partner is a normie I hope he is able to support you a little bit in the early days (well and beyond) but maybe remove some of the alcohol, or put it somewhere you are not able to see it all the time.
Have you thought of a plan to put into action? We all need help here and there and it is not a weakness as it takes courage to ask.
We got your back
Blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Welcome Sueac2, it is great to have you here. Congratulations on 6 days that is a great start.
I decided to quit almost a year ago and the community here at SR has been an integral part of me staying sober. When I decided to quit I got rid of all the alcohol in my house, I don’t share my home with a drinker so it was easier for me. I think in these early days it is about setting yourself up for success, the cravings can become so powerful that having it right there can be challenging - having to go out to the store to get some would provide me with that time to catch myself and play the tape forward to where one drink would lead.
If keeping it out of the house is not an option then perhaps move it to a different place eg the garage, upstairs cupboard, shed etc - somewhere you actively have to go as opposed to encountering it in usual places. When I got rid of mine a week later I found a wine bottle with about a glass left in it at the back of my fridge that I had missed. That was the biggest battle I faced, it was calling to me, AV was saying ‘oh just one won’t matter then you are done’, but after that one I would have driven to get more.
Perhaps your husband can just have what he would drink on a ‘normie’ night in the house at one time rather than having it all over the house for now.
It’s great to have you with us.
I decided to quit almost a year ago and the community here at SR has been an integral part of me staying sober. When I decided to quit I got rid of all the alcohol in my house, I don’t share my home with a drinker so it was easier for me. I think in these early days it is about setting yourself up for success, the cravings can become so powerful that having it right there can be challenging - having to go out to the store to get some would provide me with that time to catch myself and play the tape forward to where one drink would lead.
If keeping it out of the house is not an option then perhaps move it to a different place eg the garage, upstairs cupboard, shed etc - somewhere you actively have to go as opposed to encountering it in usual places. When I got rid of mine a week later I found a wine bottle with about a glass left in it at the back of my fridge that I had missed. That was the biggest battle I faced, it was calling to me, AV was saying ‘oh just one won’t matter then you are done’, but after that one I would have driven to get more.
Perhaps your husband can just have what he would drink on a ‘normie’ night in the house at one time rather than having it all over the house for now.
It’s great to have you with us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 80
Welcome, and thanks for posting here, Sue. I and many of us here have found SR to be an incredible resource to help during early recovery and beyond. There are many members here with years of sobriety that have utilized a variety of methods to become and stay sober, whether it be AA, Rational Recovery, Smart Recovery, even just participating here everyday etc.
Stay with us, read, and post often!
As to having alcohol in the house, I understand your frustration. My wife drinks relatively normally, and while it's not fair that I ask her to abstain from alcohol, she's been very understanding in moving alcohol to less conspicuous places in the house. It's really helped, not having that constant reminder, and made it a lot easier for me. Is that something your husband would consider?
Stay with us, read, and post often!
As to having alcohol in the house, I understand your frustration. My wife drinks relatively normally, and while it's not fair that I ask her to abstain from alcohol, she's been very understanding in moving alcohol to less conspicuous places in the house. It's really helped, not having that constant reminder, and made it a lot easier for me. Is that something your husband would consider?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 2
Thanks so much for the support and insight on recovery. Just doing normal things sometimes I think of grabbing a glass of wine then I remember. Oops. I am hungery a lot. Drinking lots of tea and coffee. Still feeling pretty good. I was worried I would have. DTs. 7 days!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,972
Hi Sueac, congrats on 7 days (or 8 now?).
I do hope you have a long term plan. It was always easy for me in the beginning. It got harder after a few months. I relapsed several times, and each one was worse and lasted longer than the last. I’m now close to two years sober. I attribute that to finally realizing I had to change myself - my thoughts, behaviors, habits, beliefs to stay sober. I went to therapy, did yoga and meditation, journaled, lots of running and coming to SR. It’s been a lot of work but well worth it. I’m a better person. I will keep working at my sobriety every day.
I do hope you have a long term plan. It was always easy for me in the beginning. It got harder after a few months. I relapsed several times, and each one was worse and lasted longer than the last. I’m now close to two years sober. I attribute that to finally realizing I had to change myself - my thoughts, behaviors, habits, beliefs to stay sober. I went to therapy, did yoga and meditation, journaled, lots of running and coming to SR. It’s been a lot of work but well worth it. I’m a better person. I will keep working at my sobriety every day.
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