I drank, full of regret
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
I drank, full of regret
As it says, I was weak. Drank 2 bottles of wine wine & spent all day feeling awful, why do I do it!!!?? Why can't I just stop!!! I've removed all the left over Xmas booze from the house, it's just too tempting....I need to beat it!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello,
I'm sorry you drank. I wish I knew the answer to your question.
I, seemingly, couldn't stop, either.
I had no idea why I kept doing it. I was a chronic relapser for ten years.
And,, you know, I have no idea what made me keep drinking. Except, by then, I was addicted. Mentally and physically.
I vividly remember one time I had seven months sober and was doing my laundry at a laundromat. There was a beer store out back. All of a sudden a reason to drink. Crazy, huh?
I wish you the best. The cravings do go away, but we have to be forever vigilant.
I'm sorry you drank. I wish I knew the answer to your question.
I, seemingly, couldn't stop, either.
I had no idea why I kept doing it. I was a chronic relapser for ten years.
And,, you know, I have no idea what made me keep drinking. Except, by then, I was addicted. Mentally and physically.
I vividly remember one time I had seven months sober and was doing my laundry at a laundromat. There was a beer store out back. All of a sudden a reason to drink. Crazy, huh?
I wish you the best. The cravings do go away, but we have to be forever vigilant.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
loulou - Unfortunately, that's what it took for me to quit for good. I had a couple of false starts. I knew in my heart I couldn't touch alcohol - I guess I needed further proof. It makes you miserable & is never fun or rewarding. Now you'll be even more determined. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
You are not weak. You have a life threatening addiction. I could not stop drinking. Nothing was more important to me than alcohol. When I got pregnant I still couldn't 100% quit drinking and when I had my beautiful baby girl, the love of my life, my drinking returned with a vengeance.
I kept getting back in the ring with alcohol despite being beaten time and time and time again. It was a battle I was never going to win. 8 and a half months ago I was completely broken. Alcohol was my master. In complete control of me and it was going to kill me. I was at that jumping off point. I either carried on drinking till the bitter end or stop. I prayed so hard for God to help me.To keep me sober. I went to AA. I came here and joined a support class. I did what was suggested to me by others who had been where i was and were now sober.i had to fully concede to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic and I was powerless over alcohol and that my life was completely unmanageable. The idea that I could drink like other people had to be completely smashed. It was bloody hard. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life. There were days I wanted to drink so badly! I prayed instead. I went to meetings instead. I spoke to another alcoholic instead. I ate instead! I read books on alcoholism and watched programmes about it. I did anything except pick up that first drink.
It gets easier, I promise you. I know because I have experienced it myself. On Christmas Day, which was particularly challenging for me, I ended up in an AA meeting in the evening. It was one of the best meetings I have ever been to and I felt so safe and so grateful. The obsession to drink left me that night and hasn't returned since although I remain ever vigilant. Now I am working on living life on life's terms sober which is a whole other thing lol but it is amazing. I believe i have a life threatening illness. Alcoholism. Which will always be a part of me and which I have to work on on a daily basis and actually I am ok with that. More than ok. In a mere 8 months my life is so different already. I no longer wake up feeling suicidal. I don't feel guilt, shame, terror or despair anymore. I am fully present for my 6 year old daughter. I could literally weep with gratitude for that. I am a better daughter, sibling and friend. I haven't had a day off work sick since so a better employee too.
Please , make rhat decision TODAY to do whatever it takes to get alcohol out of your life and you will never have to feel like you are feeling ever again I promise you.
You can do this
Big hugs x x
I kept getting back in the ring with alcohol despite being beaten time and time and time again. It was a battle I was never going to win. 8 and a half months ago I was completely broken. Alcohol was my master. In complete control of me and it was going to kill me. I was at that jumping off point. I either carried on drinking till the bitter end or stop. I prayed so hard for God to help me.To keep me sober. I went to AA. I came here and joined a support class. I did what was suggested to me by others who had been where i was and were now sober.i had to fully concede to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic and I was powerless over alcohol and that my life was completely unmanageable. The idea that I could drink like other people had to be completely smashed. It was bloody hard. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life. There were days I wanted to drink so badly! I prayed instead. I went to meetings instead. I spoke to another alcoholic instead. I ate instead! I read books on alcoholism and watched programmes about it. I did anything except pick up that first drink.
It gets easier, I promise you. I know because I have experienced it myself. On Christmas Day, which was particularly challenging for me, I ended up in an AA meeting in the evening. It was one of the best meetings I have ever been to and I felt so safe and so grateful. The obsession to drink left me that night and hasn't returned since although I remain ever vigilant. Now I am working on living life on life's terms sober which is a whole other thing lol but it is amazing. I believe i have a life threatening illness. Alcoholism. Which will always be a part of me and which I have to work on on a daily basis and actually I am ok with that. More than ok. In a mere 8 months my life is so different already. I no longer wake up feeling suicidal. I don't feel guilt, shame, terror or despair anymore. I am fully present for my 6 year old daughter. I could literally weep with gratitude for that. I am a better daughter, sibling and friend. I haven't had a day off work sick since so a better employee too.
Please , make rhat decision TODAY to do whatever it takes to get alcohol out of your life and you will never have to feel like you are feeling ever again I promise you.
You can do this
Big hugs x x
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Lou,
It is fairly impossible to quit drinking for most of the population. Many drink themselves to an early pathetic weak death. My father is on his way. He is too stubborn to listen to me.
Wanting to quit deeply enough to suffer through hell on earth physical and mental anguish for well over a year it too tough for most folks.
Especially folks that don't understand what they are dealing with.
We here at sr have a big jumpstart on getting well.
We have awareness. With awareness comes guilt when/if i relapse.
That will not happen. God help me.
What is better, guilt from relapse or active unbridled addiction?
Thanks.
It is fairly impossible to quit drinking for most of the population. Many drink themselves to an early pathetic weak death. My father is on his way. He is too stubborn to listen to me.
Wanting to quit deeply enough to suffer through hell on earth physical and mental anguish for well over a year it too tough for most folks.
Especially folks that don't understand what they are dealing with.
We here at sr have a big jumpstart on getting well.
We have awareness. With awareness comes guilt when/if i relapse.
That will not happen. God help me.
What is better, guilt from relapse or active unbridled addiction?
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Yep, the booze won, and I walked away. Tried for years to beat it, temper it, bargain with it, live with it...in my body, it rules and always will. By losing the fight, and not engaging with it, I actually win! Weird, powerful stuff, to be forever avoided.
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