First Day First Post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 2
First Day First Post
Hi
I am new here. Apologies in advance if this post rambles.
Yesterday was a tough day, I spent most of it being violently sick (from too much drink the night before). My anxiety was though the roof, at times I thought I might be dying. It breaks my heart to say my children seen me this way. Its not the first time I have ended up this way. I cannot do it anymore. I have come to the realisation my drinking has become a problem. I can go no longer than 3 days before giving in and having a drink (needing a drink)?. I have let myself to believe its fine, its not a problem, its a bottle of wine with dinner...followed by a few gins or rum. I have work the next day, and the kids need taken to school, but I will be fine. On occasion I have not been fine.
My drinking is affecting not only my life but my families. and as I write this realization I could cry. My family deserve so much better. Why cant they just be enough for me. I need to stop drinking, I have been abusing alcohol for years, the effects are starting to show on my body and my mind. I am anticipating the standard poor, restless nights sleep as my body starts to detox. But it the following nights after that I am worried about - when it gets to Tuesday, my usual drinking night, when the past two days at work has been stressful, the kids have been difficult and the memory of the sickness from Saturday has started to fade. The usual thoughts will resurface....its just a bottle of wine with dinner, its fine.
its not fine though and it never is.
I hope the difference is this time, I can gain some support and advice here.
I am new here. Apologies in advance if this post rambles.
Yesterday was a tough day, I spent most of it being violently sick (from too much drink the night before). My anxiety was though the roof, at times I thought I might be dying. It breaks my heart to say my children seen me this way. Its not the first time I have ended up this way. I cannot do it anymore. I have come to the realisation my drinking has become a problem. I can go no longer than 3 days before giving in and having a drink (needing a drink)?. I have let myself to believe its fine, its not a problem, its a bottle of wine with dinner...followed by a few gins or rum. I have work the next day, and the kids need taken to school, but I will be fine. On occasion I have not been fine.
My drinking is affecting not only my life but my families. and as I write this realization I could cry. My family deserve so much better. Why cant they just be enough for me. I need to stop drinking, I have been abusing alcohol for years, the effects are starting to show on my body and my mind. I am anticipating the standard poor, restless nights sleep as my body starts to detox. But it the following nights after that I am worried about - when it gets to Tuesday, my usual drinking night, when the past two days at work has been stressful, the kids have been difficult and the memory of the sickness from Saturday has started to fade. The usual thoughts will resurface....its just a bottle of wine with dinner, its fine.
its not fine though and it never is.
I hope the difference is this time, I can gain some support and advice here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Welcome!
Thousands just like you have beaten the drink and you can do. Get a plan together to make sure you get through the cravings that you know will come. The longer you stay off the drink the weaker the cravings become. I have no cravings at all any more.
Like you, my family/ kids situation was the same. Kids saw me at my worst. I could have lost the lot but fortunately stopped in time and repairs have been made. It is not too late for you by the sounds of things. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink (an excellent line from a poster here - not sure who) then you will succeed.
Thousands just like you have beaten the drink and you can do. Get a plan together to make sure you get through the cravings that you know will come. The longer you stay off the drink the weaker the cravings become. I have no cravings at all any more.
Like you, my family/ kids situation was the same. Kids saw me at my worst. I could have lost the lot but fortunately stopped in time and repairs have been made. It is not too late for you by the sounds of things. If you want to be sober more than you want to drink (an excellent line from a poster here - not sure who) then you will succeed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Welcome, you've come to the right place. There are many of us, like you, with families and kids and jobs whose relationship with alcohol became untenable. There is lots of amazing advice and wisdom and support here. I finally got sober, after years of trying, with SR as my primary means of support. But it took work and sacrifice and a plan. There's a better life for you though. Keep posting and reading and learning, this place will help get you sober if you let it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 64
Hello!
I just wanted to jump in and say you're not alone. I don't know why we can't have just one and other people can. I really don't. Some people are good at names and dates. Some people are good at spelling. Or art. Some of us are just really good at drinking. I wish I could trade that in for being better at remembering names and dates...
For me, I had to come to terms with admitting to myself (finally) that I am an alcoholic. Such an ugly word right? Probably why I've avoided it so long. I can't be an alcoholic, I just like to drink. I have a job, I'm not drinking at 8am, I could go on. But, alas, I am who I am. Doesn't matter what word you give it, it's a problem. I had to admit to myself first, that I have a problem. Problems need to be fixed.
There is a podcast I found called recoveryhappyhour. I haven't listened to all of them yet, but after listening to a few, something inside me just changed. I just knew I can't go on trying to be a normal drinker, because I've tried and failed more times than I can count. I have many embarrassing and shameful moments that came about from drinking. I don't want to have any more shameful moments like that in front of my kids. I can't undo the past or erase those memories, but I'm going to do my very best from now on to be a better role model and set better examples. I need to teach them coping techniques, and I can't do that when my own methods involved drowning in alcohol.
You can do this, and you have us out here with you for the ride
I just wanted to jump in and say you're not alone. I don't know why we can't have just one and other people can. I really don't. Some people are good at names and dates. Some people are good at spelling. Or art. Some of us are just really good at drinking. I wish I could trade that in for being better at remembering names and dates...
For me, I had to come to terms with admitting to myself (finally) that I am an alcoholic. Such an ugly word right? Probably why I've avoided it so long. I can't be an alcoholic, I just like to drink. I have a job, I'm not drinking at 8am, I could go on. But, alas, I am who I am. Doesn't matter what word you give it, it's a problem. I had to admit to myself first, that I have a problem. Problems need to be fixed.
There is a podcast I found called recoveryhappyhour. I haven't listened to all of them yet, but after listening to a few, something inside me just changed. I just knew I can't go on trying to be a normal drinker, because I've tried and failed more times than I can count. I have many embarrassing and shameful moments that came about from drinking. I don't want to have any more shameful moments like that in front of my kids. I can't undo the past or erase those memories, but I'm going to do my very best from now on to be a better role model and set better examples. I need to teach them coping techniques, and I can't do that when my own methods involved drowning in alcohol.
You can do this, and you have us out here with you for the ride
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here. An IRL plan (mine is AA) is crucial for me, and on SR one place I started was the Class of Feb 2016 thread - so yours would be the Class of Jan 2019 - where you find people quitting this month, like you.
A lot of the questions and fear and guilt, just to name a few things, could only be answered, or recede and change, with continuous sobriety.
I hope you choose to be sober and find a good life in recovery for you and your family.
A lot of the questions and fear and guilt, just to name a few things, could only be answered, or recede and change, with continuous sobriety.
I hope you choose to be sober and find a good life in recovery for you and your family.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
And day at a time. Be prepared to have a few sleepless night as you body goes thru detox. I used Melatonin to help me sleep. Have you considered going to the doctor for some meds to help get thru the first couple of months? Remember Alcohol is poison. I will get worse if you don't stop, believe me, I know. It will kill you. Don't you want to be around to watch your children grow up? Be strong it will get easier.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
Welcome Protego, alcohol sucks. I drank to fill a void in me- a place which creeps into my psyche uninvited without warning. The booze masked this- but also the consequences of drinking caused everything to get worse. In my case- I had to settle the drinking bit first- get sober, while dealing with 'me' separately.
SR, A recovery program, SR, a CBT psychologist, addiction counselling, journaling, routine and lots of meetings.
I need daily support- and professional guidance to keep me sober. Complete honesty is necessary.
Support to you.
SR, A recovery program, SR, a CBT psychologist, addiction counselling, journaling, routine and lots of meetings.
I need daily support- and professional guidance to keep me sober. Complete honesty is necessary.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Welcome.
Your family are enough for you but the booze won’t let you see that.
The more sober days you do the clearer things get and the bigger your world becomes opening up lots of new opportunities to make both you and your families lives better.
Stick around and gather some tools
Your family are enough for you but the booze won’t let you see that.
The more sober days you do the clearer things get and the bigger your world becomes opening up lots of new opportunities to make both you and your families lives better.
Stick around and gather some tools
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome to SR protegototalum
I felt a lot like you did when I got here - I was petrified of not drinking but even more scared of not being able to stop drinking.
The community here calmed me down, and helped me every step of the way....I'm in my 12th year sober now
We can help you too - it's going to be ok
D
I felt a lot like you did when I got here - I was petrified of not drinking but even more scared of not being able to stop drinking.
The community here calmed me down, and helped me every step of the way....I'm in my 12th year sober now
We can help you too - it's going to be ok
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,904
Welcome to SoberRecovery Proteg! 
Great peeps and awesome support on these forums....if you haven't already, you may like to join the January 2019 class.....also the Weekender thread is very helpful and the 24 hour thread to check in each day....just to name a few....This place is great!
Great peeps and awesome support on these forums....if you haven't already, you may like to join the January 2019 class.....also the Weekender thread is very helpful and the 24 hour thread to check in each day....just to name a few....This place is great!
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