Misc72

I could go on and on about how dysfunctional my relationship is with my mother. Long story short I'm completely financially supporting her, by providing her a job. She is under qualified for the job. The job in not necessary. She provides no value to my company and in fact we spend more time repetitively showing her how to do things she should already know. This is a big financial strain on my husband and I. She barely works 2 hours a day and could and should be working somewhere else part-time. Still drinking daily.

I want to end this. But...it's my mother. She is only 62 and this burden should not be on my shoulders. She is capable of working until retirement somewhere else.

I don't know how to do this??

hopeful4

I think it can only happen if you are willing to do anything about it. Telling her your company has to phase her out as it's a financial drain is the wisest thing to do. However, are you willing to do that? Maybe give her X amount of time. Our company is eliminating your position on this date. I am letting you know in advance to be fair and give you time to find other employment.

I have found mixing business with family is a mistake every single time. It should never happen. I work at a business and won't let any of my family or close friends even be a client here, and I don't own the business LOL.

atalose

Something I learned here at SR a long time ago and finally accepted and put into action was………

FAMILY is not a license for abuse, especially physical abuse but also verbal, emotional and yes financial abuse. Just because she is your “mother” does not give her the right to abuse you or your husbands generosity.

You gave her a job opportunity and she has proven that the opportunity is only working one way and in her favor. She gets to ONLY work a few hours a day, she can’t perform the job duties yet she gets paid which provides her money to continue to drink. She has the ideal alcoholic environment.

This really isn’t so much about your mothers alcoholism as much as it is about your inability to say enough is enough and that you will no longer enable mom’s alcoholism.

FeelingGreat

Nothing beats the truth. Tell her what you've told us re the financial strain on the company. You don't need to go into too much detail in terms of her performance, it's just that the set up doesn't require her role and the company can't afford the outlay.
Give her a severance package to allow her to look for something else for a couple of weeks but make it clear there's no going back. Possibly she's feeling the strain as well and might be happier elsewhere.

velma929

I like the idea of a severance package.

I love my family, but I wouldn't want to employ them. Mixing business with family and friends is dicey.

I've worked for family owned businesses most of my working life. It's pretty common for family to be on the payroll, even if they never set foot in the place. But if you can't afford it, it's crazy. It's not fair, either, to your other employees to oversee her in addition to their own work. Additionally, the money you pay her could be put back into the business to grow it, or give a valuable employee a raise.

biminiblue

This is just a larger version of your there-are-people-in-my-pool-uninvited problem.

I also like the severance package idea. I wouldn't let her have access to the business after you've told her to pack it up - I would give her maybe two weeks' pay and sever her duties immediately. Change passwords and locks or whatever is applicable before you tell her.

Yeah, there's gonna be pushback. You can handle it.

She's a big girl. She'll figure something out. She can get unemployment, maybe?

MCESaint

This isn't a strategy for dealing with AM, but...at 62 she's eligible to start drawing Social Security Retirement benefits (at a reduced rate). She could draw based on her own earnings record (or potentially your father's record). People drawing SSRetirement benefits can then work and earn up to close to $20,000 per year without endangering their SS check.

THAT may ease the "financial burden" on you and your hubby.

Of course at 62 y.o., she doesn't qualify for Medicare, but maybe you can keep her on the payroll for that??

MCE Saint