Lonewolf22

Just wondering if any of you had to deal with this in early recovery?
It is not something I have had to deal with her because isolated myself but I do worry that if I was on the receiving end I'd probably crumble. I just would struggle to give a response or know how to handle it.

SoberCAH

I have dealt with this the whole time I've been sober and have had little trouble with it.

If someone is criticizing me and I'm wrong about something, I can make a change and profit from the experience.

I've spent a lifetime being wrong about many things.

Been right a few times also.

If someone is criticizing me wrongfully or mocking me, I give them plenty of room, keeping in mind it's them and not me.

Dee74

I got a lot less sensitive the more I stayed sober, and in a good way.

For years my validation was external - the way people reacted to me determined my worth,

Getting sober gave me back an internal compass, and internal validation.

Recovery reminded me that I had my strengths - and weaknesses...and like SoberCAH says criticism either has a point - in which case I can try to change - or its unfair criticism, and not my problem.

I can't imagine me giving anytime to anyone who mocked me, for any reason tho.

That would definitely be their problem, but not one I have to deal with.

D

Flower2327

When I was drinking, I definitely battled the FEAR of mockery or criticism, far, far more than I've had to deal with the things themselves in sobriety. In fact, that fear, coupled with the booze, kept from doing all sort of things for a really long time.

I think and hope that you will find that sobriety breeds strength, and you are far more equipped to deal with any challenges than you realize, and that if you do face criticism or mockery, they won't be the world-shattering events they've been built into in your mind.

Renvate

I usually give people 2 chances.

1 - ill laugh it off
2 - ill ignore it
3 - they won't know what hit them (articulate comeback) plus the first 2 moments will let you figure out what to say for the 3rd.

Works with any unnecessary criticism.

JustTony

Criticism doesn’t bother me as I’m my own biggest critic anyway.

Mocking is something I don’t think I’ve experienced, but if I did I like to think I would simply end the discourse and not re-engage again?

Neither would make me drink. That problem is already rampant in my head anyway. In fact I can honestly say I’ve never started drinking again (if I have been sober) due to the actions or words of another?

Guener

I am also one of those persons who has a constant critic in my head, and I often worry to excess about things that shouldn't require as much mental attention as I give over.

Part of it has to deal with a diagnosis of anxiety disorder that I have struggled with my entire life, a lot is associated to wanting to please other people more than being willing to listen carefully and to come to a rational evaluation of what I am hearing. As an adult I have found that in few instances have I been made a mockery of me except via my own actions and poor choices from being an alcoholic. I have control over the latter by not drinking, and I work on the former by recognizing if I am being too sensitive to critique or just plain defensive.

When we are hurting from something it easy to feel that suggestions are an evaluation of our character and even that we deserve to feel bad (forever). If your worldview is centered on being flawed and that things are stacked against you, it feels terrible on a regular basis. How to exit this type of suffering is what I have been working on from my own internal aberrations and not so much from being fearful of what others have to say.

Of course, not all criticism has equal value, either, and it's reasonable to make those determinations on our own or with help from others to see clearly.