Wastinglife

I thought I could handle the holidays alone. Mom died last month. Dad is 2 hours away, depressed and sleeping a lot. I suffer from insomnia and anxiety that makes alcohol a quick fix. I drank a couple beers today, but otherwise quite soberish. The anxiety keeps me from being able to get a good night's sleep. Constantly waking up. Going from the sofa to the bedroom, back to the sofa all day. I have no beer left so no danger of being drunk, stores closed.

How do I stop the horrible thoughts? I try to relax, watch movies/TV and I drift off to sleep only to wake up 10 mins later with anxiety attacks. I go for walks, have had a couple baths. Only to be back at square one an hour later.

Any anxiety sufferers out there who deal with this?

Silver11

Hi man,
I struggle with you. I've had a lot of sleep problems due to anxiety. After drinking, I don't get very good sleep for 3-5 days. Sometimes just the fear of not being able to sleep destroys any chance of sleep for days. On and on. A vicious cycle.
I did have some time sober recently. As soon as I hit the 5 day sober mark sleep improves a lot, because the anxiety has subsided. By 2 weeks I was sleeping like a baby.
So long story short, the anxiety and sleep work themselves out after some time away from the alcohol. But getting that time away is key.
I had to accept that I couldn't do it by myself. Apart from meditation, diet and exercise I had to reach out to my immediate family and friends to let them know what I was going through. Also attending my first smart meeting soon.

I believe we can do this together. Community is key!!

​​​​​​

Helianthus

Ditching the booze is number one obviously, have you tried a herbal remedy? Anything with Valerian in it will help or I take St Johns Wort which helps considerably with my anxiety.

Soberwolf

I workout like a crazy person until im completely out of breath it's in them small breathless moments I find serenity it's not for long (for me anyway) but it helps

What you're going through is exactly what mrs SW is going through and all I can say is the anxiety is something to really work on in recovery there's no quick fix it's only with time effort and mistakes we make progress

Do what you need to do brother

Dee74

have you considered seeing a dr for your anxiety and grief WL?

d

Pipefish

When I was drinking heavily, and any occasion arose where I wasn't able to do so, after a few hours 'dry' I would begin to get feelings of anxiety, which were scary, uncomfortable, and not something I could manage by myself. It was not only a psychological panic, it was a physical response to withdrawing from alcohol.

What you have described in drinking your cans of beer, sounds like maintenance really, to stave off those sensations. That's how my alcoholism was - not drinking because it's a party, but drinking to function, albeit in a very modest way. I drank heavily every day, and when I couldn't do so (which was usually circumstantial, rather than optional) I would start to feel very strange.

It may be that to dry out properly you may need a medically supervised detox. I did, and it helped with this particular form of anxiety. Because it is medically supervised, there is no danger of dependency on the withdrawal drug, and the particular form of anxiety I experienced, and which you may be describing, is managed more easily. AA really helped me too.

It may be useful to speak with your doctor about any options for a detox.

16YearsDrunk

Keep your chin up buddy. It's a difficult time at the moment for you. I lost 2 parents 12 months apart and this xmas has been a bit strange not having them around. Don't blame yourself or beat yourself up. It's completely normal to feel the way you do.

Speak with your doctor at the earliest opportunity and explain to them exactly what you have here.

I'll just say that for 6 months after I lost my Dad I hardly got out of bed. I still struggle to leave the house as a result of anxiety. But, at least I am no longer sitting in bed. I sold my laptop, purchased a desktop machine, and I could no longer lie in bed all day.

But I feel like I needed those 6 months in bed. Seriously lol! I watched movies, I gamed, I slept. I pretty much did nothing. I needed to get to a point where I was fed up with my own situation.

aasharon90

I was placed into the hands of those capable of
teaching me about my addiction and was handed
a program of recovery as a guideline to live by
each day I remain sober.

This gift of recovery and a chance to turn
my life around and live a happy, healthy,
honesty way of life is something I needed
and wanted in order to get off that roller
coaster ride of insanity.

Addiction is a progressive disease and
until you put it to rest then you, we, us
will remain sick.

When we've tried everything humanly
possible to stop this addiction on our own
with no success then place yourself into
the hands of those who can teach you
about addiction. Even if it means staying
in in a rehab facility where it was safe for
me, no alcohol to reach, allowing the toxins
and poison to exit my body, opening my
heart and mind to learning a new way to
live life free from your addiction.

Use your learning and knowledge to guide
you each day with a recovery program on
a continuous bases and use your physicians
to help you achieve a healthy mind and body
if needed to balance out all the damage done
inside by those poison and toxins making sure
that if something is administered that it is not
narcotic or habit forming.

D122y

Waste,

I didn't know what I really suffered from until I was over a year clean.

Turned out I was ok, minus some entry level high bp.

When I start jogging around the track and I am about 2 laps in, I feel real suffering. I can turn that suffering up by running faster or make it go away by walking.

The contrast between my mental suffering and physical suffering can be blurred. This is a good thing. This is the purest way I know to normalize.

Pills are not my answer.

I suffered yesterday sitting at my desk. I was thinking about my wife divorcing me and taking half of our stuff. Sometimes she seems so cold and distant. Crazy.

Other times she is sweet as a puppy. Crazy.

So I think I will divorce her first. That will solve everything. Crazy.

Then I give her a hug and we go to lunch. Crazy.

My sober life.

Thanks.

Wastinglife

Didn't drink today. I managed some sleep. Not much. Had a bad drean about my mother. I am so isolated and lonely, filled with dread. I've had some traumatic experiences the last 10 years. Mostly due to drinking/substance abuse. I keep replayiing them over and over on my head. Main reason I drink is to for peace of mind for a moment. Mom's death just made things worse. I can't afford professional help. AA meetings on a daily basis help.

Just don't know what to do with myself honestly.

FreeOwl

Primativo

Many of us wire our minds to use alcohol as a medication to solve our anxiety problems, and its not until we develop a really self medicating alcohol problem, and seek help, that we realise that the alcohol we are using as an anti-anxiety tool is actually making the anxiety worse.

You need some time away from alcohol to see if the anxiety gets better, there is a very good chance it will do. However it means going through some short term uncomfortable feelings. If anxiety is really bad, maybe go to see a GP. Sometimes acute anxiety from an event that has happened to you suddently may need prescription drugs to help, however there are many ways to improve general anxiety. These involve eating well, exercising, sleeping well, and looking after yourself. This isn't easy to do when we are in the midst of an anxiety crisis. If all you can manage to do is lay in bed all day, do that, but try to watch TV and take your mind off things. Put some music on, but don't drink.

Drinking won't help. It will make you feel better in the very very short term, but once the alcohol wears off, it will cause you more anxiety. It will also make you sleep badly, and if you get a bad nights sleep, you will wake up suffering from anxiety and that isn't pleasant at all and the cycle repeats the next day. A good nights sleep will help you face your problems clearly. Alcohol won't help.

NerfThis

Definitely this. You will be amazed at how much your anxiety will reduce after some time sober. It's been a very long time since I've been frightened to go to bed through fear of not being able to sleep.

sugarbear1

Hugs to ya

I lost my parents a few years ago (both within 13 weeks), I know that the grief is horrible and is it's own entity. Try working those steps and don't stop working them! They helped me immensely.

I wish you well on your sober journey
With love,
~SB

ScottFromWI

My drinking was most certainly a failed attempt to self medicate my anxiety, but it actually made it worse in the end. Towards the end I literally needed to drink all the time just to keep my heart rate under 100bpm resting. The unfortunate truth is that quitting will not be a pleasant experience initially as our brain chemistry is so out of whack from alcohol, and anxiety spikes. But quitting drinking is the key to the long term solution. None of the treatments for anxiety will work while you are drinking, so it’s the necessary first step.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry you're struggling so much, Wastinglife. I can appreciate how hard it is losing your mom; it took me a few years to really process the death of my dad, and I had some weird/bad dreams for years. I can only tell you nothing really started to get better til I stopped drinking. There's no problem I ever had that wasn't exacerbated by booze.

MindfulMan

I'm so sorry about for your loss, and it must be contributing to your anxiety.

I drank and took z-drugs for sleep for years, with varying intensity. I carry quite a bit of anxiety. However once I ditched the booze and benzo-like z-drugs, the anxiety, while still there, was far easier to manage. Alcohol has an extremely short half life and when I was dependent on it, when I wasn't drinking I was in withdrawal. Once I stopped that cycle I could treat the anxiety primarily with meditation, mindfulness and cognitive therapy.

Those "couple beers" may be throwing you into that cycle, even though it doesn't seem like very much.

I was primarily a sedative addict, including benzos and z-drugs. I had to stop all of it.

Guener

I am glad that you posted again, WL, as I have been thinking on how you were doing. While things are tough presently, it sounds like things are a bit more stable than what you have shared in the past. Even with things as rough as they are now, I wonder if you are starting to notice that it can be different.

Anxiety to the point of agitation and restlessness can be exceptionally hard to cope with, I know. I'm glad to hear that you are using AA meetings to help you get through some of the duress, and I know that you are aware of other things that you can do to help yourself get through the antsy times. The longer that you are able to practice some of the coping mechanisms the better it should become for you, and you may well reach some periods where you feel real periods of relief and hope.

None of the anxiety I'm going through presently measures up to what you have been going through lately, but your posts are a reminder to me of how difficult it would be for me *again* if I didn't reach out through posting and getting things off my chest in any number of ways but drinking. It takes time for your body and mind to adjust to getting off the alcohol, and I am hopeful that you are on your way toward easier times.

Make good choices, be well to and for yourself.

Hawkeye13

I had exact same problem--some extended sober time cleared anxiety and insomnia.

Relapsing, on the other hand, made it far worse

Salvation Army rehab is free and in your area wl

How long / how bad does it have to get for you to try something different to save your life?

One day you may not be able to surface from the binges

You are worth saving

CupofJoe

Sorry for all you're going through. For therapy, I used to go to places that had therapists in training who needed hours and were still under supervision. They were on a sliding scale, so you pay what you can afford.

I wonder if you search for that in your area, maybe it's possible to find something similar?

Alcohol is never a good solution; it exacerbates any existing problems and creates new ones. It's especially bad for anxiety and depression.

Please take care of yourself. Wishing you well.