alwayscovering

or weeks?

AH is once again detoxing if that's what you want to call it. He's gotten through the flu like symptoms and now he's having panic attacks. 2-3 per day. I had to talk him through how to pull out of one yesterday. Is this part of detox or was the alcohol covering this up? I wish he'd just go to the doctor but that won't happen.

He started his new job and seems to be doing okay. He calls me during every single break. I wonder if the panic attacks are from having to deal with new people. He's been hiding out in the house the last few weeks, feeding his anti social tendencies. Now he has to deal with people.

Things have been "normal" which makes me happy and ridiculously sad at the same time. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed because this is exactly what I want and other times...I'm scared waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because I know it will. Eventually he'll find a way to drink again. I can't cut him off from our account forever.

Not related but, I was Christmas shopping for the boys and there's a game called exploding cats and a hideous doll with human looking teeth called a fuggler...what is wrong with people?

mylifeismine

(((hugs)))
I hear you.
I knew from reading on SR that sobriety is hard the first year...
turns out, it can be harder than the drinking. I'm sure I read
that on here too, but it didn't register. Had to meet with my sponsor
today, that's how crazy and emotional I've been today. SMH

alwayscovering

Thank you. Unfortunately, his sobriety is forced due to financial restrictions. I think that's the main cause of my anxiety. I am certain he will return to drinking. I can no longer convince myself that this is it, he's getting better. Because he's not. It breaks my heart. He's such a fun, sweet charming guy. (when he's sober)

*HUGS*

trailmix

Yes, if he doesn't go to the doctor he may never get off this merry go round. He obviously has issues and that is why he drinks and what makes him think he can cope without help?

But, there is nothing you can do about it, you've tried talking to him and he won't take your advice.

You know, maybe you need to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. He isn't in recovery, he's just going through withdrawal (which he will every time he misses days drinking), as he has so many times before. Maybe just think of it like, he's not drinking right now.

The difference being, there is absolutely zero reason to believe this dry spell will be any different that all the others, it's hard not to be disappointed if you actually think he is trying recovery.

Just a different way of looking at it.

Now, how does that help. Well I think it's the difference between expecting him to stay sober and knowing he will more than likely drink again, this is just a lull.

I'm not saying not to have hope that further down the road he might seek recovery, but perhaps see this for what it is rather than what you hope it might be? Or perhaps more to the point what he may have said it is (recovery). It's not (at least not yet).

Sorry if that sounds harsh, I hope that it's helpful rather than sounding like you shouldn't have some hope.

Seren

I always hated waiting for the other shoe to drop with Jr. I can't begin to imagine what it's like with a spouse...

I wish I had some fabulous advice, but sadly, I don't. I hope he'll want to get help for his anxiety. From what I understand, it takes weeks and weeks for the brain chemistry to normalize (whatever it's own normal is) once the alcohol consumption is stopped.

Vent here any time you need!!

hopeful4

That is what nearly drove me to madness, the constant waiting for the shoe to drop...again. I just could not live that way anymore.

Sending you huge hugs.

lostinjersey1

Big hugs!!! I understand how you are feeling...That is why I left the situation. Stay strong.