One Year Sober-No Victory Laps ;)
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One Year Sober-No Victory Laps ;)
One year ago today, I had my first day without alcohol in years, and haven’t had a drink since. It’s been said that if you can’t remember your last drunk then it’s not your last, but I hope that’s not true because I definitely don’t remember mine. I was just over it, sick and tired of feeling like crap every single day, overweight and exhausted, emotionally numb and totally beaten down. I looked and felt like absolute death. My life had become joyless and full of despair. The only moments of “happiness” came when I restocked my alcohol supply and knew I wouldn’t have to think about it for a few days, or when I had my first drink, although even that had lost its luster. My time was spent drinking as much as possible while appearing to function, but I was honestly just existing as a ghost in my own life. “Functional alcoholic” is so laughable, I didn’t get a DUI or face consequences at work, but I easily could have.
Fast forward to today. I’ve lost about 40 pounds, although I didn’t focus on my weight until I had been sober for 6 months because I was really concerned about undermining my sobriety. My self-confidence is restored; I feel capable and strong. And despite the fact that 2018 was very difficult in lots of ways (serious family health problems including cancer and dementia, a fire that forced my family out of our home, challenges at work), it was easily the best year I’ve had in forever. I can cope. My life has become manageable!
I’m definitely not taking any victory laps, I am extremely humble in my recovery and still have a lot to learn, plus I know I need to continue what’s been working so far (my daily SR class and walking have been lifesavers). When people with long-term sobriety offer advice, I really try to think carefully about it, especially if I find myself dismissing it initially. I was listening to a podcast recently, and they were saying that if someone is considering a change, the absolute best strategy is to talk to people who have done it. That’s definitely why SR is so important, even (especially?) those who push back on things we may think we have all figured out.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling, and I hope everyone is having a great holiday season!
Fast forward to today. I’ve lost about 40 pounds, although I didn’t focus on my weight until I had been sober for 6 months because I was really concerned about undermining my sobriety. My self-confidence is restored; I feel capable and strong. And despite the fact that 2018 was very difficult in lots of ways (serious family health problems including cancer and dementia, a fire that forced my family out of our home, challenges at work), it was easily the best year I’ve had in forever. I can cope. My life has become manageable!
I’m definitely not taking any victory laps, I am extremely humble in my recovery and still have a lot to learn, plus I know I need to continue what’s been working so far (my daily SR class and walking have been lifesavers). When people with long-term sobriety offer advice, I really try to think carefully about it, especially if I find myself dismissing it initially. I was listening to a podcast recently, and they were saying that if someone is considering a change, the absolute best strategy is to talk to people who have done it. That’s definitely why SR is so important, even (especially?) those who push back on things we may think we have all figured out.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling, and I hope everyone is having a great holiday season!
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Originally Posted by PalmerSage 
It’s been said that if you can’t remember your last drunk then it’s not your last, but I hope that’s not true!
Congratulations by the way.
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Originally Posted by Finalround
Super post. Well done on one year and keeping it together in a difficult one.
Think it's ok to take at least one victory lap. Besides, you're 40 lbs lighter, how long can it take?
Think it's ok to take at least one victory lap. Besides, you're 40 lbs lighter, how long can it take?
I really appreciate everyone's comments, thank you so much. And maybe "victory lap" isn't the right term, but I always get so nervious when I feel like people think they've reached the goal line, when really, the finish keeps moving every day...maybe "mission accomplished" is better!
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