sunshinel

I have posted here sporadically. My mum is dying a death that an animal shouldn't go through. I am the only one here. I come home crying everyday and drink a bottle of wine to blank it out. Now that bottle of wine has turned into two. I am an alcoholic who was sober for 6 years.
I know I will need detox to stop. My Mum could die any day now. I am overwhelmed, exhausted, lost my dear Dad a few months ago. I am so committed to being with Mum but I am absolutely traumatized. I hate more than anything that i turn to alcohol. I just simply cannot take the endless fights with doctors, my mums terrible suffering anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

ScottFromWI

Sorry you are having a bad time sunshine, I'm glad you came back here to SR to talk things through. 6 years is a long time to be sober, so you know how how to do it - don't ever forget that! Any chance you could talk with your mom's doctors and let them know that you need help too? Maybe they could find someone to help your mom for a few day while you detox?

least

Drinking does not eliminate our problems, it just disguises them for a while, but they always come back. I hope you can get some help to sober up and stay sober.

Anna

I'm sorry that you're going through such a painful time. Please do whatever you need to do to get back to your recovery.

Maudcat

Very sorry, sunshine.
Sounds like a hard time for you right now.
Here when you need us.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your pain Sunshine. Drinking promises a lot but rarely delivers.

Do the right thing for yourself and try to stay off the booze. You'll look back and be glad you did.

Best wishes and prayers for your family.
D

Numblady

Your pain is so palpable in your post. I am very sorry. I don’t know the circumstances of your mother’s illness but it sounds like you don’t have other support. Is there anyone you can talk to? As others have said and you surely know all too well the pain doesn’t go away from the drink, but maybe talking to someone could be a start to working through some of it? Do you think your mom might want you to take care of yourself too? I’m guessing she would as it sounds like you love her very fiercely, which means she probably took good care of you and would want that for you even now. I am sending you love and strength as much as I can through the Internet.