DragonflyPeace

Update: To those following my posts, my moving truck is packed, I am still scheduled to leave NC on Tuesday. My daughter flies in Tuesday morning to drive me to Texas! My "recovering" AH has been very helpful and gentle loading the truck, for this I am thankful. He is coming up on 5 months "sober"! He left to return a dog crate I had borrowed, walked in the house and stated he bought a 6 pack of Bud Light Platinum but only intends to drink 3! Right!!!???? I know better, he said he was out of AA tools! I did not say anything, just started crying, he says I have nothing to be afraid of and I have no reason to cry!!! I feel this is his last ditch effort to try to convince me to stay, he thinks manipulation will work!!! My heart is so very, very broken!!! He ask me yesterday about my diamond engagement ring and band, I told him I was still married and still his wife. He replied, not once you leave on Tuesday! I know I should not take this personally, i know it's his choice, but the hurting is beyond my wildest imagination.

Mango212

I understand. I've been there. Many times. (((hugs)))

Bernadette

Ugh Dragonfly.
Keep breathing. Keep to your plan.
What a challenge though....sending you a shot of courage.
Peace,
B

trailmix

Well, I don't know your AH, but this is a lie. You should be afraid and you do have a reason to cry! Here is a person you wanted to share your life with - and did - for a long time and despite how you feel, which has you moving to another state - he brings beer home! How arrogant.

Now, he is an alcoholic and that is what alcoholics do but please, don't for one minute take what he says to heart, this is just bs plain and simple.

And the "correct" reply to this would be "so be it". He can think or believe anything he wants, that is his choice, you are more than entitled to your own feelings and beliefs. He is baiting you, trying to hurt you as he did a week or so ago, just plain mean, nothing mystical about his words, he's just being a jerk. Just to clarify, I'm not saying he is a jerk for expressing whatever he wants to say, but he purposefully baits you by asking about YOUR rings and then waits for the reply he knows you will make, then takes a dig at you.

You are going to be ok. This hurts and his words are hurtful. It's time to put up some barriers. You are strong and resourceful and you are doing the right thing (in my opinion). I get the feeling you are about to embark on a wonderful adventure Dragonfly!

DragonflyPeace

Thank you all for your kind words, I am looking forward to living 15 minutes from my daughter, son in law, and my precious grandchildren! I am trying to be strong, but I feel like I am showing up a broken person! I will attend alanon meetings, but right now I am so tired, anxious, my nerves are awful and my mind is full. How did this happen, WHY???? I know why. I HATE alcohol, and what it does, I can't even listen to country music any more, somehow most of it relates to alcohol, so very, very sad!

Mango212

Everything keeps changing in good ways for me. I am rested, at peace, am enjoying listening to KLOVE, Native American flute music and a wide variety of upbeat, positive, healing songs from many genres. Yes, country music hasn't been one I've revisited often. There have been days of therapeutic exposure-therapy to it where if it's drinking songs I can leave where I am or if it's something else it can bring a good memory or a new connection.

The fog will start to lift, DragonflyPeace. Simply follow your gut instincts.

Two things about the next few days:

1. Each one is individual, never to be lived again. Breath in some good, natural fragrances. Essential oils, tea, coffee or whatever naturally comes across your path.

2. God/Higher Power already has this. He's paved the road ahead of us, is standing with us and also has our back. All is well.

Mango

alwayscovering

I'm so sorry! *hugs*

trailmix

Try to quiet your mind as much as possible. I know you are busy right now but if you can at all take a few mins for yourself here and there. Can you spare an hour tomorrow for a manicure/pedicure? I know it probably seems "silly" at a time like this but honestly it a great thing to do because while you are doing that there is nothing else to be done except sit there and relax.

If that's not viable, a hot bath, a funny movie, a good book or lunch with a good friend, anything that is good for you.

Trust that when you reach your new place these feelings of distress are going to start to fall away. I'm not saying that miraculously overnight you will feel all better, but the fog will start to lift once you leave that house. You won't have someone sitting there drinking beer and taking unwarranted digs at you.

Yes, alcoholism sucks.

You will be calmer and find your purpose. Grieving takes time but being in a house with someone that does not have your best interests at heart is hard!!

That will all seem clearer the further away you get from that house.

DragonflyPeace

Thank you Mango! Hugs right back!!!

dandylion

Dragon{eace…...he is just pulling out the big guns.....figuring that will make you cave.... What he should be doing is calling his sponsor...lol...

Try to stay as busy and structured as you can until Tuesday morning.....
Once you are on the road ….time and space will allow you to settle in your mind and begin to feel much better...…

You are doing the right thing...and, you deserve this opportunity....

When self doubt shows up---kick it in the ass.....

hopeful4

You are in the home run! Of course he is going to try to manipulate you right now. It's textbook to be expected. Don't cave.

It's OK to arrive a broken person. We are all broken at times. The people who love you will support you. We will support you. You are doing something very positive for yourself, I am so proud of you!