bananapancakes

I live abroad and am currently separated from my AH. As such I am spending Christmas alone. First time ever. I have mixed feelings about it. Society would tell me that this is sad but in some ways it wont be so bad right? Im looking forward to baking cookies by myself, watching my favorite Christmas movies and skyping with my family.

My inlaws invited me to spend Christmas with them nearby but it would be w extended family who do not know about the marital problems and my husbands drinking. I decided Id rather be alone then be surrounded by people that make me feel so alone.

Anyone else relate?

SoberHappy

Helianthus

Sole control of the TV remote is a very important thing, I'm guessing that previous Christmas experiences might not have been the best so as you say you can enjoy your baking and Christmas movies uninterrupted. Take some time for yourself and just have a lovely relaxing time and maybe make a little plan of things to do so you aren't just sitting around? I'll be skyping my family too so you aren't alone in that respect

Glenjo99

Sounds like heaven to me. I will be spending Christmas night on my own and looking forward to no people pleasing, forced enjoyment or pretence. Being grateful for my own sanctuary of my house is a true blessing. I can choose peace and quiet over someone else's needs and wants. Bliss.

dandylion

Dear banana...…..Idea---why not invest in some peanuts,seeds, etc.....and go out to treat the local birds and squirrels to a Christmas Feast? I think it would make you feel good....and, the creatures would be overjoyed.....
I know that is what St. Frances would have done......lol.....

alwayscovering

*hugs*

I think if you like the idea of spending Christmas alone, that's okay. It's just another day really. I love being in the house alone. I can walk around with no clothes on, watch whatever I want, use all the hot water, etc. I would love to bake a whole pan of cookies and have them to myself.

trailmix

I think I've spent xmas alone before - I can't really remember lol. It's kind of become a non-celebration for me honestly, for one reason and another (mostly because most of my family live elsewhere).

I'll be cooking dinner for a small group this year, no fanfare, prob no gifts even, just turkey!

Are you going to make yourself some turkey and stuffing or in fact whatever dinner you really love? Maybe you could organize to pick it up (whatever food you love) on the 24th. Lots of places here have lovely dinners that you can buy individually, usually whole food type markets (if you want to treat yourself).

I think your xmas sounds lovely, cookies, movies, relaxation, just think of it as a nice holiday day off (which is what it is) and skyping with all your family will be fun too.

It's not sad at all in my book.

honeypig

At this point in my life, there is always a family celebration, and I'm always pleased to go. But for me, the New Year is when I withdraw from everything and everyone--no parties, no visitors--and just take time to look back over the past year. I relax, soak in the tub, burn some candles and incense and make something especially good to eat. I will read over saved threads here at SR or look back at my spottily-kept journal to remind myself of gifts that came my way, troubles dealt with well or not so well, and the general direction or lack of it in my life. For me, it's a time of turning inward and reflecting, a time to consider my intentions and direction for the coming year--and yes, a time to take some extra-good care of myself as well as to really appreciate my 3 dear dogs and all that they bring to my life.

So to me, it doesn't sound at all sad to spend Christmas alone. The sadness only comes in if the person doesn't WANT to be alone. Alone and lonely are not synonymous...

bananapancakes

Thanks everyone for the comments. I like in a beautiful European city so I will make time to just walk downtown and check out the Christmas markets. Plus I will have my dog so I guess I wont truly be alone. The more I think about, the better I feel about it.

and no drama or anxiety is the best part...

MCESaint

Bananapancakes:

I know what you mean about it being bittersweet.

Under the Order/Agreement I have with my AW, I let her have our DS on Xmas Eve and Xmas Day (my family, due to its size, celebrates Xmas tonight, 12/15) - all supervised with members of AW's family.

I'm actually looking forward to the peace and quiet -- I have full-time custody and care of DS otherwise (AW has a few hours supervised visitation during the week).

As I was raised Catholic and believe in Christ, I'll take solace and meditate on the fact that even though we may not be around other people...we're really NOT alone at Xmas - that's the whole point of the Holiday, no? He came to be with us.

If you're not a believer in Christ, remember that we're also not really alone because our loved ones live in our hearts - especially the deceased or the ones who live in distant locales. When you're walking with your dog or curled up on the couch, remember you're walking and curling up with them.

Because in our busy "normal days" surrounded by "flesh and blood" people, we tend to forget about the people who live in our hearts.

Spend this time with them.

MCESaint

bananapancakes

That is beautiful way to think about it. Thank you for reminding me to reflect on those I love who are no longer here (like my Oma).

DriGuy

I've lived through so many Christmases and am too far from family. If someone nearby invites me to share Christmas with them, I'll go, but I have spent many Christmas days by myself. I never related to the meme about the Holidays being a source of depression. I do watch Christmas movies as an enjoyable tradition, even if I'm alone.

I visit my sister every Thanksgiving, when the traveling is easier, and that's my holiday fix. Well, it's not a fix. It's just an enjoyable visit for me, which could be done anytime during the year, but Thanksgiving is a good excuse.

In early sobriety, I'd opt to stay home if going someplace put me around alcohol. But give me a good movie and I can be happy by myself.

LovePeaceSushi

As SoberHappy said, I can't relate personally, but honestly it doesn't sound awful!!!! One of my favorite holiday movies now is "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet. Now, granted, in Hollywood fashion, they find love on their solo holiday getaways, but we all know we don't live in Hollywood. Sometimes satisfaction can come from alone time (Skyping - (forgive me if I spell it wrong because I know how it works, but no one in my family does, so I've never done it!) - - that takes away a lot of the "alone factor) -- I think anything is what you make of it. Ultimately our primary relationship is with our "Higher Power"....my personal belief is that our Higher Power is Jesus. But that being said, when you have THAT relationship, you are never alone. If you get lonely, post here. I can promise you I will be checking daily, just because I love this site so much. You are NOT ALONE. (((((hugs))))))

DriGuy

I like that movie too. But today, Rotten Tomatoes listed that along with 17 other films in an article "Eighteen Rotten Christmas Movies that We Love". Although I'm disregarding that article and am going to watch it again as it's in my private collection. In fact, I think I'll watch it right now. It's actually a delightful film, and I have no idea why the critics trashed it.

https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com...ovies-we-love/

bananapancakes

haha I have never seen it but I might have to watch it this Christmas...

My personal favorite Christmas movie is "A Christmas Story"... there are so many memorable scenes in that one.

PeacefulWater12

It would be total heaven to spend Christmas on my own. I hope to do so in the not too distant future.

Upstairs

Bernadette

Having a lot of drama in my family right now over Christmas so I am insanely jealous!

A quiet day alone, a holy day; even if I cried I could cry ALL OUT freely, a day with just my old cat and movies and hot chocolate and a walk in a beautiful foreign city, and eating just what I wanted...truly sounds like a gift! I don't practice the religion I was raised in anymore but I do still love visiting cathedrals and churches, especially at Christmastime, and many times I have accidentally come upon choir practice or organ recitals and I have just sat alone in a pew and been transported....or I light a candle and just sit and meditate and pray....

Enjoy your total freedom and give yourself all the love and warmth you can!
Peace,
B.

trailmix

I like this movie too! At least it's a little different and it is actually very similar to a story by Maeve Binchy (book) which is also about two women that exchange houses (Tara Road).

Apparently some Rotten Tomato people don't understand that all stories don't have to be complicated, sometimes we watch for fun!

LovePeaceSushi

Bananapancakes, "A Christmas Story" is probably one of my FAVORITE Christmas movies! I just saw on TV that people can rent the actual house from the movie for $3,000/night. I think the inner child in each of us can relate to Ralphie. It would not be an actual Christmas without that movie playing. "NOTTAFINFGA!" I'm giggling as I type this.