GrumpyB3ar

Purpleman

We all would Grump, but you can't get to the finished product without going through the "some assembly required" stage. If you check out the Stories of Recovery section you'll find plenty of success. But pretty much all of it took time & plenty of hard work. Very few if any of us simply woke up one day without a care in the world & thought "OK, that's it, finished with alcohol". It takes time, patience, tolerance, acceptance, willingness to change......it's seriously hard at times.
But we were all in your position at one stage, & many of us got out, so, yeah, Sobriety, Recovery, Redemption.....they're all there if you want them & you're prepared to put in the hard yards. Best wishes

Anna

I understand your frustration and yes, I do think you can change this.

When you are sober for periods, are you doing things other than 'stopping drinking'? Of course, not drinking is the most important thing. But, for me, I needed to make lifestyle changes to support my recovery. I had to remove a few people from my life, including a family member. I picked up hobbies that I had let go when I was drinking. I started taking long walks every day. I got back to reading which I love, and to listening to music.

Maybe there are things you can add to your daily life so that you don't turn back to drinking again.

Dee74

Welcome GrumpyB3ar yeah that was me for years.
The good news is this community helped me change that

Its much harder to rationalise there's not a real problem when you write your problem down in black and white - and you keep seeing your problem reflected over and over again in other peoples stories.

I also ended up a 'home alone' drinker - much less embarrassing that way.

SR helped me face up to the fact that was a sign of a real problem.

Its still hard to quit - but support helps a lot.

Like someone else said, you can;t skip over the hard bit.

I learned a lot in that hard period - hardest thing I've ever done. but no harder than what my drinking life became, and exponentially more worth it

there is life, and hope, after drinking

Read around, post as much as you like. Why not check out the December support thread? its for everyone quitting this month and all you have to do to join, is post in it

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-1-a-4.htm

D

doggonecarl

That's the pattern of someone who wants to drink without the consequences of their drinking. I know. I engaged in it for years.

When I last decided to quit, it was for good. So when the voice in my head piped up telling me I didn't have a problem with alcohol, I could respond, "You're right, cause I don't drink anymore. "

Take drinking off the table...for good. No talking yourself back into it. Decide now you are done drinking and do whatever it takes to support that decision.

least

In order to stay sober, I had to want to be sober more than I might want to drink. I wanted sobriety more than anything. I had to make some changes to my attitude, but it's worth it. I live a satisfying life now that I'm sober for good. It was hard at first but with more sober time, it got easier.

GrumpyB3ar

Thanks for the responses -- So I ordered Chinese takeout for dinner tonight. This was my fortune cookie:

"If you care enough for a result, you will most certainly attain it."

I think that might be a sign lol

DriGuy

I'd lay odds this is your problem. Logically, you have enough experience to know it's not true. But this knowledge can be over ridden by feelings and emotions.

After you have a month or two under your belt, you don't feel like an alcoholic because you haven't been acting like one. You feel normal, like a regular person and that feels like you're OK.

But the definition of an alcoholic isn't someone who has bad drinking behavior. It's someone who can't stop drinking once they start. Intellectually, you know this. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. But you're acting on feelings and emotion, rather than on your intellect and the knowledge base that has been accumulated about alcoholism, and is pretty much accepted by most alcoholics in recovery.

I'm only offering this because I've experienced feeling normal and being tempted to drink on that feeling. But I'm still an alcoholic, and that doesn't go away. From your description of your behavior, "Drinking because you stop feeling like you have a REAL problem," it's all right there in front of you. You are acting on your feeling.

Alcoholism is for life. You may have been born with the gene. You can never be a normie. You can't change your genetics, and once you started drinking at whatever your age, it started getting progressively worse, and no vacation from alcohol cancels out the progression. It just keeps getting worse.

Abstinence puts the alcoholism in remission. It doesn't cure it, but it eliminates the symptoms that accompany the drinking. It's about the best you can hope for, but it works marvelously.

Kiwidub

Tetrax

I completely relate to everything you said Grumpy. I am in much the same place. The only difference is the dramatic things now happen to me within weeks rather than months. I wish us both well.

Caralara144

hey ..I only ever stopped once in December last year and I haven't touched a drink since ...yes there are times when I've craved one so bad but I never give in ..I wanted so bad to be sober ..I fought every single day for it ..yep it's tough but if you put in the hard work ...stay the course ...give it 100per cent
you reap the benefits...it's wonderful I promise
best of luck
cara x