TheHook210

Hi guys,

Would just like some advice or maybe some resources I could take advantage of. I had posted in my original thread about my Dad going into the emergency room, which I handled well and did not run and hit the bottle. When I get really stressed and anxious with worry that was usually my go to so yay me but the last couple days have been hard, I am not going to lie. My Dad is older, 71. He has has some pretty serious heart issues, honestly he could have a massive heart attack at any moment at this point per his doctor. He remarried a young woman many moons ago and also has a 17 year old and a 13 year old. So something happening to him would be a nightmare of epic proportions. They are no longer together, she is on all kinds of drugs and is an alcoholic herself. So it leaves me with a ton of stress and worry. Firstly, I love my Dad a lot, I have a very very small family my husband, my mom and my dad. I am so close to them. My best friends in the world. So the anxiety of losing my father and then trying to clean up the mess he would leave behind and be strong for my little sister and brother scares me, like so badly I am obsessing over it. I feel like I couldn't handle it. And I am really finding myself wanting to drink right now just to have a moment of peace in my brain. My mother is also battling breast cancer which has been stressful also. She is doing amazing tho, such a trooper. She is 73 and has worked through all of her chemo treatments so far. God bless her.

Anyways I am rambling..my question to you veterans is; do you guys have any tips on dealing with these major life stressors? I have anxiety pretty bad..always have..which is why drinking was always such a great escape for me. Now that is not an option and I'm just frustrated at feeling all nervous with worry and I want a break!! But I can't drink, that is not the answer...

Thanks for listening

D122y

Hook,

Drinking will only make the pain go away for a few minutes unless i drink to oblivion. Then it will go away for a few hours until i pass out.

When i wake up, i will still have all my problems plus i am freshly addicted with the personal stigma of a relapse.

I won't drink ever ever ever again.

It solves nothing. It makes everything harder.

So....i eat clean, fight for sleep, do some exercise.. take a walk, some stretching, sit ups etc. That will get me moving in the right direction and make everything easier.

While my body is under physical duress from exercising, the mental issues seem to fade. If I push hard enough while exercising, I get a natural endorphin high. The euphoria from that type of high lasts for several hours.

I want to take a proactive approach to making my destiny better.

Thanks.

RDBplus3

Hello Hook,
Thru 'working the steps', and now 'applying the steps' to EVERY situation that arises that causes internal turmoil / stress/ etc - keeps me able to be free from the inner turmoil gears actually engaging the thoughts and feelings that churn the stress and terrors that plagued me when I was back in the HELL of the last days of my using.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

ScottFromWI

Sorry you have so much on your plate right now Hook, my parents have gone through some significant health issues and are in their 80's so I understand exactly how that feels, and it doesn't feel good.

Having said that, and as significant as those issues can be, they are part of life. And dealing with life in general is really what is "sobering" about getting sober. Addiction wants us to think that just "taking the edge" off is a good idea - but it's really just the same old story - using a drug to avoid facing up to our problems/stressors/life issues.

I drank pretty much my entire adult life, and even part of my late teens. I started drinking daily probably around 16/17 and kept right on going until I was in my mid-40s. And looking back, much of my drinking was very much an attempt at avoidance - of my anxiety ( which I have now been diagnosed with ) and of any issues that caused my anxiety. I can distinctly remember when my first son was born - the very first thing I did after everything was medically OK was to go out to the parking lot and chug a couple of beers that I had stashed in the trunk. I remember doing the same when my father-in-law had heart surgery - or before important meetings - or before anyting that was stressful. I literally always had a 12 pack in my trunk just in case i needed some extra "courage".

So yeah- how do you face life? For me i had to not only accept my addiction, but also my anxiety as real problem that needed real solutions. I sought therapy and counseling, tried a couple of anxiety meds early on, learned about meditation and minfulness, adjusted my diet and removed reduced caffiene/sugar, worked on getting more sleep and exercise, etc.

The good news is that there is almost no problem you cannot solve if you put your mind and effort into it - but you have to identify/accept it first...and then do the work. And the even better news is that now that you don't drink anymore, you are far more capable of doing that work.

TheHook210

Thank you!! This is exactly what I need to hear. I can totally relate, I believe my drinking also had a lot to to with avoidance of emotions and trying to gain courage. Anything that I was anxious about whether it was handling a stressful situation or going and doing an activity that my anxiety prevented me from doing, I would just throw back some beers and be good to go. I began leaning on it way too much.

I am most certainly going to get involved in therapy. I am also on a beta blocker which prevents panic attacks, it has been such a life saver for me and it does really help with some of my symptoms of anxiety just not the mental aspect. I'm going to try and stay away from anti depressants if I can but if turns out to be something I need to try for the sake of staying sober I will.

thomas11

I agree with ScottFromWi, when faced with serious stress I would drink to escape or avoid. Now when faced with really serious situations (family in particular) I either own them and try to resolve or avoid and not drink. I will trust others to own certain situations and trust as adults they will handle it appropriately. Its not always the case though.

miko67

Totally relate to this topic.
Also on beta blockers, tried phenibut recently after a stressful couple of months to see if it would help. It did but gave me big massive mood swings and horribly hangover feeling. Not nice after years sober.
Beta blockers are my go to now at stressful events.
Also I've not been exercising or getting many meetings in as mmt life's turned upside down with family stuff.
My recovery depends on handling these situations, and speaking about them helps as it's part of life, alot of people get these feelings, It's just we need strength or tools to help us cope.
I'm more optimistic now also don't want to go on anti depressants so tried phenibut to see how it was for me. And it wasn't fir me, nearly caused a break up tbh
But I just need to accept situations people and things as they are and learn to be me. Without numbing.

Dee74

Hi TheHook - I'm sorry you have so much on your plate right now.

I think anyone would feel overwhelmed with all that. I also think it's natural in the early part of recovery that our thoughts might stray to our old release, the bottle.

Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do with them that counts - like others have said - drinking won't help - it will probably make you guilty ashamed and even more anxious in the long run.

I know it's scary but facing troubles in my life sober helped me grow as a person. I'd been telling myself I was weak for years... I had no idea how capable and strong I was until I put the bottle down.

I was amazed and I think you will be too

The good news here is you don;t have to deal with all of this alone. We're here to support and help

D