Struggling again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Struggling again
I went to inpatient for two weeks and had 45 sober days (a huge deal for me) but this week I find myself drinking every day again. So frustrating. I'm starting to think this disease just owns me. =(
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Nah, the disease doesn't own you. You can put the drink down and start again. You had 45 days where your body and mind got a chance to recover, you can easily tap back into those benefits at this stage.
Do you know what triggered the relapse? Being able to identify triggers is a huge advantage in staying sober.
Do you know what triggered the relapse? Being able to identify triggers is a huge advantage in staying sober.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Sun,
Are you mixing meds and booze?
My guess, since you went to inpatient, is yes.
I heard the buzz from the mix is like no other.
Unfortunately, the half life from some meds is way longer than booze.
Might need some kind of anti abuse now.
Might need to see the doc again.
Thanks.
Are you mixing meds and booze?
My guess, since you went to inpatient, is yes.
I heard the buzz from the mix is like no other.
Unfortunately, the half life from some meds is way longer than booze.
Might need some kind of anti abuse now.
Might need to see the doc again.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Sunstorm 
She normally doesn't drink around me but the other night she went out with friends and me just knowing she was out drinking became a trigger for me.
Either you want to quit or you don't.
Your wife is not to blame for this. 100% on you. What is your solution for her drinking? She's going to drink. Is that going to be your response every time?
Either you want to quit or you don't.
I don't drink, no matter what.
I just read that you said she is a normal drinker.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 116
"She's a normal drinker (two drinks tops, once or twice a week) and I want to be like that sooooo badly."
i'm pretty sure it says in the big book that the great obsession of many alcoholics is to be like a 'normal' drinker. i've had it too. unfortunately, the obsession kept me in a pit of denial where i tried to 'control' it for many years..with horrible results.
obsession of any kind will consume you. the best next step is acceptance. accept that you can't drink. i sometimes use allergies as comparison. if i had a severe peanut allergy and i saw someone eating a reese peanut butter ice cream cake, i would watch them with envy and resentment wishing i could enjoy it too...but i would have to accept the fact that it could kill me. acceptance feels like relief, while envy and resentment would just keep me feeling miserable. it sucks..but unfortunately that's just the way it is.
sorry i'm rambling a bit, lol
i'm pretty sure it says in the big book that the great obsession of many alcoholics is to be like a 'normal' drinker. i've had it too. unfortunately, the obsession kept me in a pit of denial where i tried to 'control' it for many years..with horrible results.
obsession of any kind will consume you. the best next step is acceptance. accept that you can't drink. i sometimes use allergies as comparison. if i had a severe peanut allergy and i saw someone eating a reese peanut butter ice cream cake, i would watch them with envy and resentment wishing i could enjoy it too...but i would have to accept the fact that it could kill me. acceptance feels like relief, while envy and resentment would just keep me feeling miserable. it sucks..but unfortunately that's just the way it is.
sorry i'm rambling a bit, lol
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Sunstorm
Yeah good point. I feel like I'm blaming my wife when I should be blaming myself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
We are defined by our choices. When we make bad choices and learn from them, good on us. If we continue to make bad choices (ie drinking), then we have to own that. The only way out of it is getting busy with sobriety and a support structure.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
Guess what, you’ll never drink like your wife. Speaking for myself I can’t “moderate” , might work for a night but it will always get you. Never really made any sense to me either I drank to get drunk.
I finally surrendered 13 months ago , very difficult for 3 months but I got through it. Went to AA kept myself busy changed my routines and didn’t give into cravings which were very strong. It got better, 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 is not unicorns and rainbows but it’s a lot better than being drunk everyday and barely existing. You can do this
I finally surrendered 13 months ago , very difficult for 3 months but I got through it. Went to AA kept myself busy changed my routines and didn’t give into cravings which were very strong. It got better, 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 is not unicorns and rainbows but it’s a lot better than being drunk everyday and barely existing. You can do this
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I used to frickin' HAAAATE myself for my inability to stay off the booze. While I didn't really plan, at first, to stay sober forever I, I DID make a million plans to not drink tonight......or this weekend.......or this week. I may be wrong but I don't really remember keeping any of those promises to myself. If I did, it was only a few.
I too would "find myself drinking" and I tell ya for sure..... I had no real answer for how or why it happened. Now to most non-alcoholics, that type of answer sounds asinine. They'd say "Mike, that's BS..... you knew what you were doing, you chose to drink." Of course, as non-alcoholics, they didn't understand that my condition is different than theirs. As an alcoholic, I'm not able, at certain times, to remember with enough strength and willpower, that promise I just made to not pick that drink up. Sometimes, it would just happen with no thinking at all. That scared me. I mean, how does one mount a defense against something when there are numerous times when all those defenses simply don't come to mind? And also troublesome is how to I even begin to explain that to people who have no experience with it and don't really understand what I'm talking about?
I don't mean to sound like an infomercial here but that's exactly the type of person for whom AA works - those alcoholics who can't seem to stay sober and/or who don't want to spend the rest of their life trying to strengthen their defenses against drinking for it's next attack.
I too would "find myself drinking" and I tell ya for sure..... I had no real answer for how or why it happened. Now to most non-alcoholics, that type of answer sounds asinine. They'd say "Mike, that's BS..... you knew what you were doing, you chose to drink." Of course, as non-alcoholics, they didn't understand that my condition is different than theirs. As an alcoholic, I'm not able, at certain times, to remember with enough strength and willpower, that promise I just made to not pick that drink up. Sometimes, it would just happen with no thinking at all. That scared me. I mean, how does one mount a defense against something when there are numerous times when all those defenses simply don't come to mind? And also troublesome is how to I even begin to explain that to people who have no experience with it and don't really understand what I'm talking about?
I don't mean to sound like an infomercial here but that's exactly the type of person for whom AA works - those alcoholics who can't seem to stay sober and/or who don't want to spend the rest of their life trying to strengthen their defenses against drinking for it's next attack.
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