broken down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
broken down
3 days ago I let down my guard and drank almost 2 fifths of booze. Once I had the first sip, I was gone. 12 hours later I awoke, covered in bruises and even worse, realized I drove during this. I didn't want to come here, as I am so ashamed, but realize this is the exact reason I should come back. The story of how it never changes with the first drink. I gave my car keys to my husband and am at one moment at a time. Water, rest and quiet.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
a conversation with my husband before work. Not his fault. I need to have far better boundaries, along with self worth. Opened that first bottle as soon as I could alone. Believed it would take away the hurt. Of course it only magnified it..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 131
I am you. I have been hangin on by dental floss for the last month...truly needing relief and willing to trade the unique horrors of sobriety for the temporary relief alc will bring before the inevitable descent into madness, jail, or death. I was literally parked at my bar and had confirmed as much with my wife before I luckily and coincidentally had an appt with my guy within addiction dept at my hospital. After meeting with him, he has been seeing me weekly and I have an appt with an MD about possible new meds this Friday. I have hit a few meetings and expressed these feelings in public and the new, and additional support has saved me from a slip/relapse....without question. If you are like me, actually doing something when you are smothered in depression and grief is the hardest thing to do...but you have to if you want to stay the course
:edit: oh, and your course of action is mine too....2 fifths and straight to oblivion. And apologies if depression is not your trigger....assumptions can be at best, frustrating and at worst, dangerous. Rootin for you
:edit: oh, and your course of action is mine too....2 fifths and straight to oblivion. And apologies if depression is not your trigger....assumptions can be at best, frustrating and at worst, dangerous. Rootin for you
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Please don't feel ashamed, Awake. 
Most of us have had similar setbacks. I had a few of them - but I'm almost 11 yrs. sober now (after drinking 30 yrs.) You've been reminded of where that first sip can take you - you'll be more determined now. You can get free.
Most of us have had similar setbacks. I had a few of them - but I'm almost 11 yrs. sober now (after drinking 30 yrs.) You've been reminded of where that first sip can take you - you'll be more determined now. You can get free.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 271
Coming back here and sharing helps us as well as you. It reminds me of the ruinous outcome that will befall me if I pick up that first drink.
And it's great that you're back here sharing, and that this episode was a "slip" rather than a full-blown relapse. Your experience is a reminder that none of us can drink "normally."
And it's great that you're back here sharing, and that this episode was a "slip" rather than a full-blown relapse. Your experience is a reminder that none of us can drink "normally."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 462
Hi Awake61
I'm sorry you drank but I think you are incredibly brave for coming back here and admitting it, you should be proud of yourself.
We all fall down sometimes we just need to figure out how to stop it from happening again, do you have a plan in place for that?
Good luck and don't forget to be kind to yourself
I'm sorry you drank but I think you are incredibly brave for coming back here and admitting it, you should be proud of yourself.
We all fall down sometimes we just need to figure out how to stop it from happening again, do you have a plan in place for that?
Good luck and don't forget to be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Welcome back!
I would bet 90% of us did not get sobriety on the first try. You're still trying!! Great news.
You can also talk about stuff here until you meet with someone.
Glad you're back.
Jules
I would bet 90% of us did not get sobriety on the first try. You're still trying!! Great news.
You can also talk about stuff here until you meet with someone.
Glad you're back.
Jules
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
You absolutely did the right thing by coming here and posting. One thing you should really consider is cutting off your access to alcohol however you can. If you don't have it when the craving hits, you have a MUCH better chance of fighting it, especially at first. Best of luck with your therapist. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 240
You were very brave to post I've been down that some road with the same poison. After half a pint I'm in the dark but still want more. Prayers for you and I hope your meeting with the counselor went well.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
