Day 4
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Day 4
Laid back day. Ran some errands. I'm still debating about what to do with either going back to working AA or not.
Sometimes I feel like it can be like my sponsor is punishing me. The reason why is no so much the work. It is the fact that it's the first things that will come out of his mouth. 90 and 90 again, reach out to new comer and exchange numbers in every meeting if there are any, re-do my steps again. I'm not sure how others in AA feel about having to re-do your step work each time relapse happens, but I really don't know how to feel about much these days either so feedback is much appreciated.
Believe me I want to be sober and stay that way. My life is beyond unmanageable because of alcohol. I know I'm not the only one that wishes for a delete button on actions we have done in our lives to get to the point of being "rock bottom".
Still sober though regardless.
Sometimes I feel like it can be like my sponsor is punishing me. The reason why is no so much the work. It is the fact that it's the first things that will come out of his mouth. 90 and 90 again, reach out to new comer and exchange numbers in every meeting if there are any, re-do my steps again. I'm not sure how others in AA feel about having to re-do your step work each time relapse happens, but I really don't know how to feel about much these days either so feedback is much appreciated.
Believe me I want to be sober and stay that way. My life is beyond unmanageable because of alcohol. I know I'm not the only one that wishes for a delete button on actions we have done in our lives to get to the point of being "rock bottom".
Still sober though regardless.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi getitright 
I had to work pretty hard at staying sober. It's not an easy cruisey thing in those first few months - it's determination, total commitment vigilance and effort.
I didn't do step work but I read the book and I think I understand the philopsphy behind it.
I always looked as the 12 steps as a kind of quest - each step builds on the one before...almost an exponential thing.
If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, it makes sense to me to start the quest again, from the start, not as a punishment but as a voyage of self improvement.
Not doing all 12 steps is kinda like only maintaining half an engine?
D
I had to work pretty hard at staying sober. It's not an easy cruisey thing in those first few months - it's determination, total commitment vigilance and effort.
I didn't do step work but I read the book and I think I understand the philopsphy behind it.
I always looked as the 12 steps as a kind of quest - each step builds on the one before...almost an exponential thing.
If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, it makes sense to me to start the quest again, from the start, not as a punishment but as a voyage of self improvement.
Not doing all 12 steps is kinda like only maintaining half an engine?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
No doubt Dee. I've been in and out of AA the last 3 years. I want sobriety with every bone in my body. I'm just trying to figure out if AA is for me after the 3 years I've been trying.
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi getitright
I had to work pretty hard at staying sober. It's not an easy cruisey thing in those first few months - it's determination, total commitment vigilance and effort.
I didn't do step work but I read the book and I think I understand the philopsphy behind it.
I always looked as the 12 steps as a kind of quest - each step builds on the one before...almost an exponential thing.
If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, it makes sense to me to start the quest again, from the start, not as a punishment but as a voyage of self improvement.
Not doing all 12 steps is kinda like only maintaining half an engine?
D
I had to work pretty hard at staying sober. It's not an easy cruisey thing in those first few months - it's determination, total commitment vigilance and effort.
I didn't do step work but I read the book and I think I understand the philopsphy behind it.
I always looked as the 12 steps as a kind of quest - each step builds on the one before...almost an exponential thing.
If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, it makes sense to me to start the quest again, from the start, not as a punishment but as a voyage of self improvement.
Not doing all 12 steps is kinda like only maintaining half an engine?
D
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