Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 46
Day 1
I’ve been struggling for years with alcohol. Today was as low as I want to feel. I was throwing up in the bathroom and my daughter was outside the door asking what was wrong and why was I coughing like that.
I am powerless when I drink. I always need “one more.” I never want to feel this way again. Today is day one.
I am powerless when I drink. I always need “one more.” I never want to feel this way again. Today is day one.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
Welcome to the family. 
I hope you will use the support here to achieve lasting sobriety. It is possible. I used to feel hopeless but on Saturday I will have nine years sober. If I can do it, so can you. 
I hope you will use the support here to achieve lasting sobriety. It is possible. I used to feel hopeless but on Saturday I will have nine years sober. If I can do it, so can you. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome. And congratulations on day one.
You've already taken the first step by admitting you're powerless with drink.
That's a great start you can build on.
And remember, you never have to drink again.
You've already taken the first step by admitting you're powerless with drink.
That's a great start you can build on.
And remember, you never have to drink again.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Welcome to SoberRecovery, Pearldoor. I hope this is the beginning of a permanent recovery for you.
Read around and post often! Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7068094 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 420)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7066817
Read around and post often! Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7068094 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 420)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7066817
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 125
Your daughter never has to see you drunk again. Take some solace in that. I wish I had quit ten years ago when my son who was probably four at the time came into my bathroom to console me while I was puking. Heartbreaking to think about that today. Keep coming here and posting... the feedback has been a huge help for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
The only thing worse than struggling with alcohol is dealing with the dreaded "Day 1". (Reverse that... struggling with alcohol is worse than "Day 1".)
One is really bad, the other is worse, and the rest only gets better.
One is really bad, the other is worse, and the rest only gets better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 46
Wow! Thank you so much for the supportive replies. Last night was a lot of tossing and turning. I’m tired this morning but Made it to the bus stop on time and now to work. Day one is complete and now to day 2.
i started one of those daily counters and there is no booze in the house.
i started one of those daily counters and there is no booze in the house.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Pearl,
You seem pretty serious about quitting. If you are around 30 or so quitting for a while might seem easy.
It was for me at 28. Because it was easy, at 8 months clean I started again. Biggest mistake of my life. The crave is for life.
Folks call it other names after many years clean, but i call it the crave.
When you feel great and have been good, that is when the battle begins. We addicts have to develop new coping mechanisms and remember the hellish times.
Otherwise, we cycle drink, go insane, and die a drunk.
Thanks.
You seem pretty serious about quitting. If you are around 30 or so quitting for a while might seem easy.
It was for me at 28. Because it was easy, at 8 months clean I started again. Biggest mistake of my life. The crave is for life.
Folks call it other names after many years clean, but i call it the crave.
When you feel great and have been good, that is when the battle begins. We addicts have to develop new coping mechanisms and remember the hellish times.
Otherwise, we cycle drink, go insane, and die a drunk.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by D122y 
Pearl,
You seem pretty serious about quitting. If you are around 30 or so quitting for a while might seem easy.
It was for me at 28. Because it was easy, at 8 months clean I started again. Biggest mistake of my life. The crave is for life.
Folks call it other names after many years clean, but i call it the crave.
When you feel great and have been good, that is when the battle begins. We addicts have to develop new coping mechanisms and remember the hellish times.
Otherwise, we cycle drink, go insane, and die a drunk.
Thanks.
You seem pretty serious about quitting. If you are around 30 or so quitting for a while might seem easy.
It was for me at 28. Because it was easy, at 8 months clean I started again. Biggest mistake of my life. The crave is for life.
Folks call it other names after many years clean, but i call it the crave.
When you feel great and have been good, that is when the battle begins. We addicts have to develop new coping mechanisms and remember the hellish times.
Otherwise, we cycle drink, go insane, and die a drunk.
Thanks.
you hit hit the nail on the head with my age. How do I create new coping mechanisms? I have thrown up the flag and am trying to own my own guilt and shame around my drinking past. I am not going to try do this anymore - im in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by Finalround
Great start. I would start reading about cravings and how to deal with them. They will come. I have found the quickest and simplest way to quell cravings...
Hot chocolate!
Hot chocolate!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Like many of us here, I know the exact feeling and horror and shame and sadness you felt in the midst of a vomit-laced hangover with your daughter outside the bathroom door. Sigh. Been there, done that.
Here I am, though, sober for good, finally and due in large part to this site and it's wisdom and support. If you work on it, make a plan and commit to your time here, it just might get you sober. A better life waits for you, it really does.
do you have any specific reading suggestions? There are many I'd rec - Jason Vale and Alan Carr's books are very easy, straight-forward and helpful reads. The Naked Mind is another.
Here I am, though, sober for good, finally and due in large part to this site and it's wisdom and support. If you work on it, make a plan and commit to your time here, it just might get you sober. A better life waits for you, it really does.
Originally Posted by Pearldoor
do you have any specific reading suggestions?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 46
Thank you less for the reading suggestions. I will looks them up.
Shame, horror, and sadness are a good way to describe my drinking over the years. So much shame. I’m finishing day 2 and have no desire to drink. I’m trying to own my actions and objectively assess my steps going forward. I will be avoiding many parties this season and am completely ok with it.
Shame, horror, and sadness are a good way to describe my drinking over the years. So much shame. I’m finishing day 2 and have no desire to drink. I’m trying to own my actions and objectively assess my steps going forward. I will be avoiding many parties this season and am completely ok with it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 85
i started on here the same way! the drinking mind gets freaked out thinking of sobriety long term. that’s why it helps to just say “i’m not going to drink today”. don’t think far ahead. think until midnight. then if you are still awake at midnight, say it again: “i’m not going to drink today”. it is one day. but it adds up! that’s what got me through.
my user name on here is “thisisforellie” because my sobriety is for my daughter ellie. it is one of the best gifts i can give her. i have 8 years now of sobriety. each day is a gift to her. and you can give this gift too.
you can give your daughter the gift of a sober parent
and it turns out it will be a gift to yourself as well! that’s the secret. it will be better than you can even imagine right now.
my user name on here is “thisisforellie” because my sobriety is for my daughter ellie. it is one of the best gifts i can give her. i have 8 years now of sobriety. each day is a gift to her. and you can give this gift too.
you can give your daughter the gift of a sober parent
and it turns out it will be a gift to yourself as well! that’s the secret. it will be better than you can even imagine right now.
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