Our Holiday Happy Thread About Hope Not Dope.
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
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Our Holiday Happy Thread About Hope Not Dope.
I am going to start a thread that, if interest is shown, will take us through the holidays and into the New Year with a positive, healthy, way of thinking.
Some may just want to read and ponder, other will post welcome comments on what they have read, and others may just click past this, thinking it’s just not for them and that’s okay too.
This thread is for the people who want to bring positive light into their lives, who are tired of the darkness or, for those like me who have been in recovery for a while, who are afraid of slipping back into the darkness if they are not diligent about keeping a good attitude and embracing the beauty of each day.
We will leave the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s” at the door and put up the No Vacancy sign for the “what if’s” and “if only’s”...they never served us well anyway.
So...post your thoughts, your plans to make the future even better (or not as bad as) the past. Post what you are doing or want to do to make your life better and then post how that is working for you.
Post anything you want that is positive and hopeful and reaches for new dreams and goals.
This kind of thread often fades into page 2 quickly...so let’s keep it active with the goal of making it through the holidays and going into the New Year, inspired to make our lives happy and healthy.
I'll start with a reading from Ralph Marsden that I particularly like. He speaks for embracing all we have learned, the joy and the pain, and using it to pave a better path ahead. Our mistakes and regrets can serve us well if we take the lesson and keep it handy for "next time".
I hope you will all join me here. This can be our little shelter from the storm, our quiet place of contemplation, or just our little coffee shop where we can share the good stuff with each other. It will be whatever we make it to be.
New possibilities up ahead
Everything you’ve ever achieved was done with less knowledge and less experience than you possess today. Now that you’ve learned more and done more, just imagine what great things you can do next.
You’ve worked your way through all kinds of challenges. From each one, you’ve emerged with new strength.
Going forward, you’re able to put that strength to good use. Live and work with all the confidence you’ve already earned, and as you do, you’ll build even more.
You’ve taken many steps to get where you are, ready today to step into your future. Every past moment has prepared you to live that future with the best you have.
The joys, disappointments, discoveries, setbacks, challenges and victories all still live inside you. Let them push you, inspire you, inform you, enlighten you as you encounter the new possibilities up ahead.
Your future is ready to begin, and there is much you have to offer it. Make good and meaningful use of it all, and make it the best time ever.
— Ralph Marston
Some may just want to read and ponder, other will post welcome comments on what they have read, and others may just click past this, thinking it’s just not for them and that’s okay too.
This thread is for the people who want to bring positive light into their lives, who are tired of the darkness or, for those like me who have been in recovery for a while, who are afraid of slipping back into the darkness if they are not diligent about keeping a good attitude and embracing the beauty of each day.
We will leave the “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s” at the door and put up the No Vacancy sign for the “what if’s” and “if only’s”...they never served us well anyway.
So...post your thoughts, your plans to make the future even better (or not as bad as) the past. Post what you are doing or want to do to make your life better and then post how that is working for you.
Post anything you want that is positive and hopeful and reaches for new dreams and goals.
This kind of thread often fades into page 2 quickly...so let’s keep it active with the goal of making it through the holidays and going into the New Year, inspired to make our lives happy and healthy.
I'll start with a reading from Ralph Marsden that I particularly like. He speaks for embracing all we have learned, the joy and the pain, and using it to pave a better path ahead. Our mistakes and regrets can serve us well if we take the lesson and keep it handy for "next time".
I hope you will all join me here. This can be our little shelter from the storm, our quiet place of contemplation, or just our little coffee shop where we can share the good stuff with each other. It will be whatever we make it to be.
New possibilities up ahead
Everything you’ve ever achieved was done with less knowledge and less experience than you possess today. Now that you’ve learned more and done more, just imagine what great things you can do next.
You’ve worked your way through all kinds of challenges. From each one, you’ve emerged with new strength.
Going forward, you’re able to put that strength to good use. Live and work with all the confidence you’ve already earned, and as you do, you’ll build even more.
You’ve taken many steps to get where you are, ready today to step into your future. Every past moment has prepared you to live that future with the best you have.
The joys, disappointments, discoveries, setbacks, challenges and victories all still live inside you. Let them push you, inspire you, inform you, enlighten you as you encounter the new possibilities up ahead.
Your future is ready to begin, and there is much you have to offer it. Make good and meaningful use of it all, and make it the best time ever.
— Ralph Marston
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
The joys, disappointments, discoveries, setbacks, challenges and victories all still live inside you. Let them push you, inspire you, inform you, enlighten you as you encounter the new possibilities up ahead.
Like taking lemon and making lemonade...we will take broken eggs and make eggnog, the best eggnog the holidays have seen.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I love this idea! Wonderful!
I read this today and is resonated with me:
"Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through."
I was actually reading it thinking of my young adult daughter who is in college and meets many people, so of whom are not who she thinks they will be. However, it touched me in that it applies for all of us.
Have a great day!
I read this today and is resonated with me:
"Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through."
I was actually reading it thinking of my young adult daughter who is in college and meets many people, so of whom are not who she thinks they will be. However, it touched me in that it applies for all of us.
Have a great day!
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
"Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through."
One thought, one day, it all adds up, yes?
SR member Gilmer has some green tea messages she shares each day on another thread. I hope she will bring some here too. They are fun and thought provoking both.
And nobody said we couldn't have fun with recovery, now did they!
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Here is a little Melody Beattie quote I read today. It reminds me of how many times I felt that my son didn't love us enough to stop taking drugs. In the end, he didn't love himself enough to stop. I learn from Melody Beattie every time I read anything she writes.
“We don’t have to take things so personally. We take things to heart that we have no business taking to heart. For instance, saying “If you loved me you wouldn’t drink” to an alcoholic makes as much sense as saying “If you loved me, you wouldn’t cough” to someone who has pneumonia. Pneumonia victims will cough until they get appropriate treatment for their illness. Alcoholics will drink until they get the same. When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don’t love you—they are saying they don’t love themselves.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“We don’t have to take things so personally. We take things to heart that we have no business taking to heart. For instance, saying “If you loved me you wouldn’t drink” to an alcoholic makes as much sense as saying “If you loved me, you wouldn’t cough” to someone who has pneumonia. Pneumonia victims will cough until they get appropriate treatment for their illness. Alcoholics will drink until they get the same. When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don’t love you—they are saying they don’t love themselves.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
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I get where you are coming from with this thread, Ann. Thanks- I will join. For me- being in the moment is vital. I look back to my dark past with trepidation but emotions pass- like waves over a rock. I look forward with hope- reminding myself of what I have achieved. The main lesson learnt for me is the activity is a tool which reflects my mindset. Thus- art, in my case sows I am AM getting on with life- difficult and challenging as that is. I understand with an old soul- that there really is not often a very 'good'day, just as there is not a bad. The mind needs to think and reflect on the good. Not to label myself as 'stupid' if I forget my shopping list half way to the shops- but deconstruct the thought- which influences the feeling that shapes the action. (Yoda- eat your heart put!).
I remind myself when I am feeling flat (like now) that 3y asgo- I should have died (the staff did not thin I would, they knew it- and they were right- 3x), that my arm SHOULD have been amputated ( and in a week I go for the final corrective surgery on my hand), I should have been institutionalized because my brain was fried, I should have suicided- given my post hospital depression score, I should have remained a pathetic hopeless drunk with no prospects,and all the other things like a protracted divorce, not having my sons, c-PTSD and another whole wheelbarrow full of nasty surprises.
but no.
The human spirit can be indomitable, and with that there is hope. The spark of life can be stronger than the every day malaise of human drudgery where we can for, at least awhile- feel at peace and gather our strength for the next day.
You - Ann deserve some of that piece of peace (pretty clever, huh?). Perhaps this thread will help us to find some together.
I remind myself when I am feeling flat (like now) that 3y asgo- I should have died (the staff did not thin I would, they knew it- and they were right- 3x), that my arm SHOULD have been amputated ( and in a week I go for the final corrective surgery on my hand), I should have been institutionalized because my brain was fried, I should have suicided- given my post hospital depression score, I should have remained a pathetic hopeless drunk with no prospects,and all the other things like a protracted divorce, not having my sons, c-PTSD and another whole wheelbarrow full of nasty surprises.
but no.
The human spirit can be indomitable, and with that there is hope. The spark of life can be stronger than the every day malaise of human drudgery where we can for, at least awhile- feel at peace and gather our strength for the next day.
You - Ann deserve some of that piece of peace (pretty clever, huh?). Perhaps this thread will help us to find some together.
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
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PJ, I know your past story and admire so much your hard work to put the past where it belongs and create expressive art reflecting all that but just in the creation alone, you show courage and strength to move forward with your life.
I often refer to "strangely wrapped gifts that come from the obstacles we overcame in the past. Because of the obstacles, we chose (or were forced) to a different path and to things that would never have been possible but for the obstacles, My past was filled with pain and dysfunction...all that led me to recovery and finding a healthier way to live. Today I try to find joy in each day...a few years back I had forgotten completely what joy even was.
I am glad you have joined the thread, PJ, that's what this journey is all about, walking together sharing our light...or holding our light until those who have lost theirs, find it.
I often refer to "strangely wrapped gifts that come from the obstacles we overcame in the past. Because of the obstacles, we chose (or were forced) to a different path and to things that would never have been possible but for the obstacles, My past was filled with pain and dysfunction...all that led me to recovery and finding a healthier way to live. Today I try to find joy in each day...a few years back I had forgotten completely what joy even was.
I am glad you have joined the thread, PJ, that's what this journey is all about, walking together sharing our light...or holding our light until those who have lost theirs, find it.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Hi Ann and PJ,
I am going to join in too! I have found that when I do a gratitude statement daily, I stay in a positive state of mind. So today, I am going to start it again.
I am grateful for those who walked before me, shined a bright light and helped keep me on my path. Thank you Ann...you were one of many but always my favorite soul sista.
Many hugs and kisses,
Grasshopper!
I am going to join in too! I have found that when I do a gratitude statement daily, I stay in a positive state of mind. So today, I am going to start it again.
I am grateful for those who walked before me, shined a bright light and helped keep me on my path. Thank you Ann...you were one of many but always my favorite soul sista.
Many hugs and kisses,
Grasshopper!
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
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Grasshopper!!! *jumps up and runs across the room for a BIG HUG!*
I am so glad you joined us too. Thank you for the kind words about my inspiration...but you inspired me too, you asked me questions that made me "think" and ponder over what had worked for me and what had not. And you made me laugh...a lot...one of recovery's finest lessons is the ability to laugh again, especially at ourselves.
Soooo...in honour of LoveMeNow's return and contribution, let's let today be all about "Gratitude".
Counting our blessings is more than a cliche, it is a way to lift our spirit and feel happiness for all we have instead of staying stuck in mourning our losses.
I am grateful that out of the darkness of codependency and living in fear and chaos every day...came a small light called recovery that led me to meetings and SR and to people who shared my journey.
Like LoveMeNow, I am most grateful for those who went before me and guided my path and for those who have walked with me for many years now, here at SR, through good days and bad.
I am grateful that I no longer live in the desperation of trying to "fix" that which was not mine to fix, anyone else...and for learning that the only person I could fix was me, and lord knows I needed fixing bad.
And for today, I am grateful to have reached a place where I now embrace the joy of the holidays...I spent an entire wonderful day putting up my Christmas tree, decking my halls, and playing Christmas music to listen to as I unpacked the decorations and gave them new life as I set them about. My nutcrackers stand tall and regal, my tree is filled with wonderful lights and ornaments, and some special ones collected over the years that bring happy memories of Christmas past.
Someone wiser than me once told me that if I can't change my circumstance, then change my attitude. And an attitude of gratitude was one of the biggest adjustments of all.
How about you? What are you grateful for today?
I am so glad you joined us too. Thank you for the kind words about my inspiration...but you inspired me too, you asked me questions that made me "think" and ponder over what had worked for me and what had not. And you made me laugh...a lot...one of recovery's finest lessons is the ability to laugh again, especially at ourselves.
Soooo...in honour of LoveMeNow's return and contribution, let's let today be all about "Gratitude".
Counting our blessings is more than a cliche, it is a way to lift our spirit and feel happiness for all we have instead of staying stuck in mourning our losses.
I am grateful that out of the darkness of codependency and living in fear and chaos every day...came a small light called recovery that led me to meetings and SR and to people who shared my journey.
Like LoveMeNow, I am most grateful for those who went before me and guided my path and for those who have walked with me for many years now, here at SR, through good days and bad.
I am grateful that I no longer live in the desperation of trying to "fix" that which was not mine to fix, anyone else...and for learning that the only person I could fix was me, and lord knows I needed fixing bad.
And for today, I am grateful to have reached a place where I now embrace the joy of the holidays...I spent an entire wonderful day putting up my Christmas tree, decking my halls, and playing Christmas music to listen to as I unpacked the decorations and gave them new life as I set them about. My nutcrackers stand tall and regal, my tree is filled with wonderful lights and ornaments, and some special ones collected over the years that bring happy memories of Christmas past.
Someone wiser than me once told me that if I can't change my circumstance, then change my attitude. And an attitude of gratitude was one of the biggest adjustments of all.
How about you? What are you grateful for today?
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
With a protracted divorce insitu- the necessity of gratitude is one I am taking VERY seriously.
Example- a good friend gave me a near brand new soft velvety lounge suite. I asked my ex for one of the 2 Chesterfields, leather..she never responded- but now I have a couch- I do not need the other. I still feel sad and angry about the stuff I asked for, was agreed upon, but never eventuated. So I make myself think about the fact I have more than enough and getting angry, just because I can does not meet the grade expected in recovery. It does me, my ex and the world a disservice. I still do not like the dynamics- but now am getting to feel neutral, not angry.
A good indicator my thinking and feeling is changing is- tonight I took down all the reactionary art I did before going to art school- all angry colours - angry, raging, hurt..and replaced it with paintings and sketches I did at art school this semester- eggplants, hats and saucepans.
It is hard work for me to do alone, but I am changing.
Example- a good friend gave me a near brand new soft velvety lounge suite. I asked my ex for one of the 2 Chesterfields, leather..she never responded- but now I have a couch- I do not need the other. I still feel sad and angry about the stuff I asked for, was agreed upon, but never eventuated. So I make myself think about the fact I have more than enough and getting angry, just because I can does not meet the grade expected in recovery. It does me, my ex and the world a disservice. I still do not like the dynamics- but now am getting to feel neutral, not angry.
A good indicator my thinking and feeling is changing is- tonight I took down all the reactionary art I did before going to art school- all angry colours - angry, raging, hurt..and replaced it with paintings and sketches I did at art school this semester- eggplants, hats and saucepans.
It is hard work for me to do alone, but I am changing.
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
PJ, this art replacement, is it not, perhaps, reflected in your emotional and spiritual replacement as well? You expressed your pain, acknowledged it and hung it on the wall, all a very healthy outlet...and it served you well...until it didn't. Actually, I think that's pretty much what you said, sometimes I think too hard. 
Slowly, with a lot of work and focus on your part, your art evolved into happier things, like hats, and healing things, like eggplants. The saucepans? Well surely there is some meaning there that escapes me. Maybe it's about what you are cooking up next? Okay, so I'm digging here, but I love what you posted, it made me smile.
Slowly, with a lot of work and focus on your part, your art evolved into happier things, like hats, and healing things, like eggplants. The saucepans? Well surely there is some meaning there that escapes me. Maybe it's about what you are cooking up next? Okay, so I'm digging here, but I love what you posted, it made me smile.
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
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This morning I am grateful for a gray, cold and almost miserable winter day because it inspires me to get some indoor work done, like purging my closet and finally putting my summer things away. It's unlikely I will need them in December. 
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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I am so grateful for so many things! My children of course, but also that I am starting to live outside of them. I was with my XAH for a very long time, and even after our divorce it's been full steam ahead of putting my children first, as you should. However, I sort of lost myself in all of that. Through counseling I am finding the real me, and it makes me happy!
I am grateful for you fine people here at SR, the friendship here is amazing. I am grateful for the upcoming holidays and the sense of peace I feel about that for the first time in a long time. I am grateful for the nice house I live in which is not fancy, but is mine and I love it. I am grateful for my family and the time we share. My church, my friendships, my town, my employment, my pets. So many things.
And...coffee! I am sitting here drinking coffee out of my new to go mug I just got, and it just seems to make it taste even better drinking out of such a cute mug!
Thank you for your motivation today friends. I have some work things I am dreading today, but this thread has put a smile on my face and I am going to go forward with a good attitude!
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day!!!
I am grateful for you fine people here at SR, the friendship here is amazing. I am grateful for the upcoming holidays and the sense of peace I feel about that for the first time in a long time. I am grateful for the nice house I live in which is not fancy, but is mine and I love it. I am grateful for my family and the time we share. My church, my friendships, my town, my employment, my pets. So many things.
And...coffee! I am sitting here drinking coffee out of my new to go mug I just got, and it just seems to make it taste even better drinking out of such a cute mug!
Thank you for your motivation today friends. I have some work things I am dreading today, but this thread has put a smile on my face and I am going to go forward with a good attitude!
I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Someone I have not talked to in a very long time emailed me this morning and the quote they had under their name was……………
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
Finding my way towards gratitude was a difficult road filled with many pot holes, bumps, hard curves and what always felt like dead ends.
But with anything the more you use it the stronger it grows. Today I seem to be able to find gratitude in just about everything. Work, home, family, my children and grandchild, friends, SR, my car, , food on our table and the up coming holiday and so much more. I do not have to search very hard anymore to discover it.
Great thread Ann, thank you!
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
Finding my way towards gratitude was a difficult road filled with many pot holes, bumps, hard curves and what always felt like dead ends.
But with anything the more you use it the stronger it grows. Today I seem to be able to find gratitude in just about everything. Work, home, family, my children and grandchild, friends, SR, my car, , food on our table and the up coming holiday and so much more. I do not have to search very hard anymore to discover it.
Great thread Ann, thank you!
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hopeful, how great that counseling is helping you. I can see where the sacrificial level of care giving could transfer to your children, they are so precious, but how wise that you could see that you needed to find yourself.
I lost myself somewhere along the way too, when I "lived" in my son's addiction world. I remember how good it felt to get to know "that stranger called me". Maybe, for the first time in my life, I liked who I was or who I had become through recovery and I am never giving my soul away again.
Atalose, I love those words. I love how sometimes we just trip over a phrase or picture or song that makes us take pause to think about what we just saw.
I struggled to find gratitude too...I thought I already had it because I was glad that I didn't slide any deeper into the darkness that was my world. But now I find, think and say out loud how grateful I am for just about everything in my life..my home, my husband (who neither drinks nor drugs) and all the nature and beauty that surrounds me here. I am grateful for my health, I once took it for granted until cancer crept up on me but today, thanks to excellent doctors and medicine, the lesions I do have are under control and manageable by treatment that is not very unpleasant.
And in many ways, I am grateful for the obstacles and pain and chaos that led me to recovery, without them I am not sure I would have learned to live as well as I do today. A strangely wrapped gift, recovery is, because we to have something to recovery from...but what a wonderful gift it is.
I lost myself somewhere along the way too, when I "lived" in my son's addiction world. I remember how good it felt to get to know "that stranger called me". Maybe, for the first time in my life, I liked who I was or who I had become through recovery and I am never giving my soul away again.
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
I struggled to find gratitude too...I thought I already had it because I was glad that I didn't slide any deeper into the darkness that was my world. But now I find, think and say out loud how grateful I am for just about everything in my life..my home, my husband (who neither drinks nor drugs) and all the nature and beauty that surrounds me here. I am grateful for my health, I once took it for granted until cancer crept up on me but today, thanks to excellent doctors and medicine, the lesions I do have are under control and manageable by treatment that is not very unpleasant.
And in many ways, I am grateful for the obstacles and pain and chaos that led me to recovery, without them I am not sure I would have learned to live as well as I do today. A strangely wrapped gift, recovery is, because we to have something to recovery from...but what a wonderful gift it is.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
Ann- the saucepan WAS A HOMEWORK PROJECT FOR aRT sCHOOL, AS IS ALL ON MY WALLS- SCHOOL PROJECTS.
oops caps
Saucepan- shiny thing project.
A very basic thought here- but the pre art school art was a reflection of that which was damaged/destroyed by alcohol
The art school stuff is carefully (as I can make it anyhows) CREATED stuff. With no alcohol.
oops caps
Saucepan- shiny thing project.
A very basic thought here- but the pre art school art was a reflection of that which was damaged/destroyed by alcohol
The art school stuff is carefully (as I can make it anyhows) CREATED stuff. With no alcohol.
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