Awal

I saw his bottle of brandy yesterday, still in the cupboard but noticed the level dropped during the day while l was out. He finished it last night. Not a massive amount but total for the day was probably 150mls. Im really struggling just now..feel so down at the prospect of Christmas. He still hasn't had a drink in front of me. Hes got to be alone.
lm going away with friends for a long weekend 7th Dec...l can take the dog if need be, l dont know whether to leave him home with AH or take him to ensure he is safe. AH loves the dog and woukdnt hurt him but will he care for him properly once he can drink freely any time he wants while lm away. I just want to cry today 😕

Seren

Good morning, Awal!

So, I suppose that ideally, what would make you feel best about your trip, is for him to *not* drink, you to leave the dog with him, and you to go have fun. The hinge-pin being him not drinking.

Since he is actively drinking with no guarantee to stop, what would be the next best plan?

Bring the dog with you? Will that work with your travel plans?
Kennel the dog with professionals or a vet? Does that work with your budget?

Awal

l would never put my dog in kennels. Hes like my baby. Im just at a real low point today x

Mango212

l can take the dog if need be, l dont know whether to leave him home with AH or take him to ensure he is safe.

To reframe this a bit, I'm hearing, "I love my dog. Having him in a safe, nurturing environment is important."

Awal

I slipped...l monitored the brandy yesterday. Its done me no good at all.

lostinjersey1

I would make arrangements for the dog or take him...My alcoholic ex had two Labradors he had shared with his ex wife. He would normally care for the dogs, but it was his hours of passing out and broken vodka bottles all over. Not a good environment.

are you staying with this guy? I know all about monitoring bottles.... My ex woulkd finish a bottle and fill it with water thinking I wouldn't notice.
enjoy your trip.

Awal

staying for now. Never see him drunk. Maintenance drinker l suspect. Yes lve found water in a vodka bottle etc. Very sad existence for him (and me)

Awal

As the trip is a girlie Christmas shopping trip over a long weekend and the location is just an hours drive away l have decided to leave the dog at home as l can't take him shopping and l would be left behind while the others go out. BUT l will ring home morning afternoon and evening every day (maybe even facetime) and if l suspect things are getting out of hand l can go get the dog. He loves the dig as much as l do so l doubt he would neglect him...but l will be checking regularly!

dandylion

Awal…..I know, so well, how an alcoholic can disrupt or spoil holiday plans....!

Perhaps, for your own sake...not to have your holiday joy hinge on his participation...? Making plans, for yourself, as an individual...

Maybe, do some new or different activities...and staying very busy. by yourself... Do you really need him to enjoy things...and, other people...?
Perhaps, it is time to start restructuring your life as more of an independent agent...and, not centered around him, and his participation....
Maybe, his is not what you have wanted...but, it may be what is best for your own peace of mind.....
Lol...I am just spitballing, here....

hopeful4

I will also second to take care of yourself and to plan some nice things for YOU around the holidays.

It would be really hard not to monitor when it's right in front of your face. Ugh.

Sasha1972

I’m really sorry to hear this. I think that planning enjoyable distractions for yourself is a good idea. I agree that it’s really hard to resist the temptation to check (been there, done that!) but you shouldn’t get down on yourself because you did check. With practice, detachment gets a little easier (in other words, the more you don’t monitor, the less you feel tempted to monitor).

I’m glad you have your dog to love! Animals are just great that way - simple and straightforward love.

DriGuy

Sometimes I wonder where they get that strength.

Awal

when l said l will be checking regularly, l mean by phone to check his 'state' to make sure he is capable of looking after our dog. If hes in a stupor l will be on the road to come get the dog and take him back with me.
i will be trying hard NOT to check bottle levels. I can see how looking yesterday and today has set me back.

PhoenixJ

Prayers

Clover71