My dad is drinking again
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Hi Jim & welcome to SR.
Has he been in recovery before this?
Al-anon is a great place for starting recovery in a family. It's for friends and family members. When one person in a family starts changing, everything changes.
http://www.al-anon.org/
Has he been in recovery before this?
Al-anon is a great place for starting recovery in a family. It's for friends and family members. When one person in a family starts changing, everything changes.
http://www.al-anon.org/
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Jim,
There is not much that usually can be done. When a drunk decides to drink, they will drink.
Read around you will see. Al-anon is there to offer strategy/support to the family of a drunk.
Thanks.
There is not much that usually can be done. When a drunk decides to drink, they will drink.
Read around you will see. Al-anon is there to offer strategy/support to the family of a drunk.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Somerset County, NJ
Posts: 70
Hi there, sorry to hear about that. Sadly there is not much you can do...I know, it sucks...You can try talking to him, that is a starting point.
You said started drinking again, so I guess this is a relapse? Has he been in treatment before?
Sadly the person has to want to stop to really get help..Its tough. Just remember to take care of yourself.
You said started drinking again, so I guess this is a relapse? Has he been in treatment before?
Sadly the person has to want to stop to really get help..Its tough. Just remember to take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Alanon is where to start, but please also don't lie to yourselves, each other, or him about what you are seeing and experiencing. Don't pretend like it isn't happening, and don't believe a word that comes from his mouth.
You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it, but you can contribute to it by helping him to have a life where he can continue to drink, by cleaning up after him, by covering for him, and by pretending he isn't drunk when you know damn well he is. People who have a warm, soft, safe place to land every time they fall down never stop falling down.
C-
You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it, but you can contribute to it by helping him to have a life where he can continue to drink, by cleaning up after him, by covering for him, and by pretending he isn't drunk when you know damn well he is. People who have a warm, soft, safe place to land every time they fall down never stop falling down.
C-
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Hi, Jim.
Thought I'd check in and see how you and your brother are doing. Are you comfortable sharing more information? From your post, it was hard for me to tell if you're living with him and therefore facing your father's drinking 1st hand, or if he's elderly, living alone and there might be concerns related to that. Different scenarios present different needs.
IMO, while nerve-wracking and emotionally draining, the hard part about confronting a loved one's drinking is in controlling our own expectations of what the outcome of that discussion will be. How you would actually go about addressing his drinking would depend a great deal on him, his personality, how much you suspect he's drinking and temperament, and your relationship with him.
Thought I'd check in and see how you and your brother are doing. Are you comfortable sharing more information? From your post, it was hard for me to tell if you're living with him and therefore facing your father's drinking 1st hand, or if he's elderly, living alone and there might be concerns related to that. Different scenarios present different needs.
IMO, while nerve-wracking and emotionally draining, the hard part about confronting a loved one's drinking is in controlling our own expectations of what the outcome of that discussion will be. How you would actually go about addressing his drinking would depend a great deal on him, his personality, how much you suspect he's drinking and temperament, and your relationship with him.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
