? For those in AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 11
? For those in AA
im new to AA and almost 3 weeks in. I’m not an everyday drinker, more f a binge drinker. Tonight I did have 1 drink and that was it. Does it mean I have to start with tomorrow as day 1 again? I feel bad that I had 1.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
As AA is an abstinence based programme I would say yes, back to day 1.
What were the circumstances around why you picked up? What was the reasoning in your mind at the time? It’s important to look at the situation and try to be honest with yourself and understand what your thought process was so you can learn from it and develop a plan or strategy for when you next feel the same way. xx
What were the circumstances around why you picked up? What was the reasoning in your mind at the time? It’s important to look at the situation and try to be honest with yourself and understand what your thought process was so you can learn from it and develop a plan or strategy for when you next feel the same way. xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Not AA, but if I drank again I'd start over at day one.
It might seem like a punishment or a public shaming but it's really not.
Its about honesty.
Back in the day I could kid myself I had so many sober days with x amount of slips - that may work for some but I know my mind would think it would't be that much different to add a few more slips in there.
If you're really crushed by the day count thing then maybe don't count - counting doesn't get you sober - not drinking does....but please do redouble your efforts and look at what went wrong - fix your plan.
D
It might seem like a punishment or a public shaming but it's really not.
Its about honesty.
Back in the day I could kid myself I had so many sober days with x amount of slips - that may work for some but I know my mind would think it would't be that much different to add a few more slips in there.
If you're really crushed by the day count thing then maybe don't count - counting doesn't get you sober - not drinking does....but please do redouble your efforts and look at what went wrong - fix your plan.
D
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yes, you do if you have committed to working the program of AA.
The only "requirement" for membership is a desire to quit drinking. Plenty of people are not sober when they start coming to AA. You don't have to announce your new start - I was committed to permanent sobriety and had my day one (2/21/16) but did not get my first chip til 30 days. I wasn't ready to get up in front of a group.
I'd suggest going back and listening. Many people will suggest getting a sponsor and doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I can't tell you how valuable this is to act on, for achieving long term sobriety and, critically, for actually working the program, not just going to meetings. If you hadn't done that in your three weeks sober, even more reason to take that different approach now.
As far as SR, maybe check out the Nov Class of 2018 thread - my group from Nov 2016 was a big part of my support here.
The only "requirement" for membership is a desire to quit drinking. Plenty of people are not sober when they start coming to AA. You don't have to announce your new start - I was committed to permanent sobriety and had my day one (2/21/16) but did not get my first chip til 30 days. I wasn't ready to get up in front of a group.
I'd suggest going back and listening. Many people will suggest getting a sponsor and doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I can't tell you how valuable this is to act on, for achieving long term sobriety and, critically, for actually working the program, not just going to meetings. If you hadn't done that in your three weeks sober, even more reason to take that different approach now.
As far as SR, maybe check out the Nov Class of 2018 thread - my group from Nov 2016 was a big part of my support here.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Sober,
I tried AA but didn't fit it for me. I figure that I am too judgemental.
Sr works for me. I can stop reading any time i want. Love that. I have learned just about all of my sober skills here. This place saved my good life.
Slips are definitely cracks in the armor. I craved like a crack head for well into 6 months. Especially around trigger events..e.g. Thankgiving.
These days, even w my slips that I hid from SR for a while, I am stronger in my sobriety than ever before.
Without my 2 drinks, I would be 4 years sober shortly. Even though inside, chemically and physically I am 4 years sober...2 oz of booze gets no one drunk...I get the intent.
Resetting the clock for 1 drink seemed harsh to me as well. But, not admitting it made me feel dishonest.
You can do like I did and move forward. I know those 3 weeks mean a lot to you.
Thanks.
I tried AA but didn't fit it for me. I figure that I am too judgemental.
Sr works for me. I can stop reading any time i want. Love that. I have learned just about all of my sober skills here. This place saved my good life.
Slips are definitely cracks in the armor. I craved like a crack head for well into 6 months. Especially around trigger events..e.g. Thankgiving.
These days, even w my slips that I hid from SR for a while, I am stronger in my sobriety than ever before.
Without my 2 drinks, I would be 4 years sober shortly. Even though inside, chemically and physically I am 4 years sober...2 oz of booze gets no one drunk...I get the intent.
Resetting the clock for 1 drink seemed harsh to me as well. But, not admitting it made me feel dishonest.
You can do like I did and move forward. I know those 3 weeks mean a lot to you.
Thanks.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
How are you doing today?
As was mentioned, the only requirement for AA is a desire to quit drinking. I'm not alcoholic, but in another 12 step group.
One day at a time. Recovery is possible. What we did yesterday doesn't matter as much as what we're doing today.
As was mentioned, the only requirement for AA is a desire to quit drinking. I'm not alcoholic, but in another 12 step group.
One day at a time. Recovery is possible. What we did yesterday doesn't matter as much as what we're doing today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Yes, start again. I have started from day 1 again when I've had my recent slip ups. Just learn from them. Everyone fails, many people only ultimately succeed at something because they failed many times before. But, when you fail, you fail forward. You learn from it.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yes, I would start again.
if I am counting days, which I did at the beginning, then I count my sober days. which means days I had no booze. to me, the concept is one of ongoing sobriety, so if I drank again, I would not have the ongoing part.
since you are counting...what does that day count mean to you? what does it signify?
if I am counting days, which I did at the beginning, then I count my sober days. which means days I had no booze. to me, the concept is one of ongoing sobriety, so if I drank again, I would not have the ongoing part.
since you are counting...what does that day count mean to you? what does it signify?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
Originally Posted by Soberlady52 
im new to AA and almost 3 weeks in. I’m not an everyday drinker, more f a binge drinker. Tonight I did have 1 drink and that was it. Does it mean I have to start with tomorrow as day 1 again? I feel bad that I had 1.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
In the throws of my heaviest drinking, I would think drinking only a bottle of wine a night of NOT drinking.
I doubt I could convince you or anyone else here that those nights counted.
If you truly believe alcohol is a problem and you need to quit, why even bother with just 1?
I doubt I could convince you or anyone else here that those nights counted.
If you truly believe alcohol is a problem and you need to quit, why even bother with just 1?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Quitting drinking is one of those all or nothing things for me.
When I quit, it was to be a continuous quit. My day/month/year count is precious to me and one of the things that helps me when the thoughts of drinking come (and they still do, at nearly five years continuous sober time.) I can easily dismiss drinking thoughts because I have lots of practice at it now! If I had kept giving in - well, then my addiction would have had lots of practice of talking me out of my very good decision to quit.
I can easily see the two voices in my head. I have to stick with the good one here or the drinking would quickly become a problem again.
It has to be all or nothing with this thing. I tried the "all."
"Nothing" is SO much better.
When I quit, it was to be a continuous quit. My day/month/year count is precious to me and one of the things that helps me when the thoughts of drinking come (and they still do, at nearly five years continuous sober time.) I can easily dismiss drinking thoughts because I have lots of practice at it now! If I had kept giving in - well, then my addiction would have had lots of practice of talking me out of my very good decision to quit.
I can easily see the two voices in my head. I have to stick with the good one here or the drinking would quickly become a problem again.
It has to be all or nothing with this thing. I tried the "all."
"Nothing" is SO much better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I know I'm the hopeless variety
2018 has been hell for my family. I have done many things to hurt and destroy because of my drinking. I get serious with the program only to fall again. I get back up and start again...then here comes more drama. Every single job I've lost has been due to me drinking everyone except the one I was laid from where I was for 13 years. Again today as I try to get into employee parking my badge doesnt work. LOL I really did as I sat there. Next thing I know I'm getting a call from my recruiter..... end of story. Just before that phone call though I was on the phone with my sponsor. He tells me one of his sponsees recently overdosed. I knew him and hug out with him a lot as we all would meet for breakfast after our Saturday morning meeting. Man that hit me hard, but yet I still drink.
I think for a minute as I drive back to the place I barely call home. I decide to go to a meeting instead. It was a good meeting first time I've been to one at that time even though its my usual place. I leave again not knowing what to tell my wife. Lets see....ah man my poor wife. Words cant describe what I've put her through. What do I do....I spend what little I do have on more booze.
I never in my life thought I'd be in this predicament. I'm sure none of us do or did. I don't even know what to think anymore. I dont even know what to do anymore. I know drinking doesnt help a damn thing., but like I said I'm of the hopeless variety.
Damn
I think for a minute as I drive back to the place I barely call home. I decide to go to a meeting instead. It was a good meeting first time I've been to one at that time even though its my usual place. I leave again not knowing what to tell my wife. Lets see....ah man my poor wife. Words cant describe what I've put her through. What do I do....I spend what little I do have on more booze.
I never in my life thought I'd be in this predicament. I'm sure none of us do or did. I don't even know what to think anymore. I dont even know what to do anymore. I know drinking doesnt help a damn thing., but like I said I'm of the hopeless variety.
Damn
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I know I'm the hopeless variety
2018 has been hell for my family. I have done many things to hurt and destroy because of my drinking. I get serious with the program only to fall again. I get back up and start again...then here comes more drama. Every single job I've lost has been due to me drinking everyone except the one I was laid from where I was for 13 years. Again today as I try to get into employee parking my badge doesnt work. LOL I really did as I sat there. Next thing I know I'm getting a call from my recruiter..... end of story. Just before that phone call though I was on the phone with my sponsor. He tells me one of his sponsees recently overdosed. I knew him and hug out with him a lot as we all would meet for breakfast after our Saturday morning meeting. Man that hit me hard, but yet I still drink.
I think for a minute as I drive back to the place I barely call home. I decide to go to a meeting instead. It was a good meeting first time I've been to one at that time even though its my usual place. I leave again not knowing what to tell my wife. Lets see....ah man my poor wife. Words cant describe what I've put her through. What do I do....I spend what little I do have on more booze.
I never in my life thought I'd be in this predicament. I'm sure none of us do or did. I don't even know what to think anymore. I dont even know what to do anymore. I know drinking doesnt help a damn thing., but like I said I'm of the hopeless variety.
Damn
I think for a minute as I drive back to the place I barely call home. I decide to go to a meeting instead. It was a good meeting first time I've been to one at that time even though its my usual place. I leave again not knowing what to tell my wife. Lets see....ah man my poor wife. Words cant describe what I've put her through. What do I do....I spend what little I do have on more booze.
I never in my life thought I'd be in this predicament. I'm sure none of us do or did. I don't even know what to think anymore. I dont even know what to do anymore. I know drinking doesnt help a damn thing., but like I said I'm of the hopeless variety.
Damn
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