New Member - Sober 90 days on Thanksgiving!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 6
New Member - Sober 90 days on Thanksgiving!
I just got in to town to my parents' house a couple hours ago. I'm pretty tired after driving my wife, 6 year old daughter and 2 dogs. However, I promised myself I would finally make my first post. I figured for 90 days sober that would be as good a time as any. I went to outpatient treatment that I completed a couple of weeks ago. I've also been attending AA some. I'll come and post an update to tell more about myself tomorrow. For now I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I find the openness here so inspiring. It's amazing especially in my first few weeks how just reading here for a few minutes could ease such anxiety and be able to remind myself that I was not alone.
Thank you for such a wonderful place. You are not alone.
Thank you for such a wonderful place. You are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,912
What a great entrance! I mean, not that there are any bad ones once people find their way here — but congrats on 90 days and surviving your travel but also still coming to post. Sober is a fantastic way to spend a holiday!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 6
Thanks everyone!
Good morning everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Back this morning as promised.
Like I said in my first post I went to IOP. I, like many of you I'm sure went kicking and screaming.
I was actually intervened by my wife and parents one afternoon after getting off work. I pulled in to my driveway
and saw my parents car in the driveway and I thought, "Why are my parents here?, this can't be good." Funny how I knew in the back of my mind why they were there. There was no emergency, no one had died, no one had been rushed to the hospital. I remember walking in thinking, "Here we go, here comes my intervention." And it was. Normal drinkers would not have to be worried about what they were walking in to when they got home seeing there family on a "surprise" visit.
My foreboding feeling that days is telling and evidence alone that I in fact have a problem with alcohol. However, that day, I would have told you you were crazy. That I just mind my own business and it's just my way to relax after work. The problem is with my wife poking and prodding at me. She is the one starting this. And when the weekend comes all she has to look forward to is me drinking Friday until well into Sunday evening before taking Monday off of drinking, Sometimes and ramping back up until another Friday. But I was fine.
I told everyone I would give it some thought but I would not just pack a bag and head off like you see on TV. I needed a day or two to process it all. What it really meant was I needed them to leave so I could go get my first of 2 nightly bottles of wine out of my car that I had bought about 10 minutes before arriving home. So another week goes by. My wife asking me daily had I made a decision, etc. I receive a text message from our old Minister from church who was in town picking his brother up from the airport and wanted to have lunch.
I had not seen him in a couple of months and thought, "Awesome!" We are about the same age, I'm 44 and he is 45-46. So I got on with him real well and had missed him. I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. So I called my wife and said hey, B is in town and wants to grab lunch. Come join us.
Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, Intervention #2. My parents had called him and my wife. They basically thought, if they couldn't
get through to me maybe he could. This was on a Wednesday and that following Week I started IOP. I just got worn down.
I just said, I'm tired of swimming against the current. Y'all win.
I went feeling anger, rage, betrayal for involving someone whom I looked up to and respected. You name it. I felt it.
I'm glad they did. Beat me into submission, if you will. I feel great. I've lost almost 30 lbs. with almost no effort. I've reclaimed my role in my household. I've picked up old hobbies that the boozed drowned out that I thought I had lost interest in. The list of little awesomes that have happened is endless. It seems
like every day there is something I catch or notice that makes me go, hmm... That is really cool. Like realizing Thanksgiving day would be 90 days. Like it was meant to be.
It was hard at first, as you all can imagine but I can honestly say I haven't thought about it too much lately. It's a pretty amazing feeling. And honestly, the reality is I have a day off work and it's Thursday and I'm having a large bird for lunch that I would normally have on a sandwich. Big deal. Christmas may be different but I can't look that far ahead. Only to today. Today is good.
I guess that is about it for now. The only thing that I'll throw out there if it can help anyone is in about week 2 or 3 I asked someone who was celebrating his 20th year of sobriety when it got better. I knew there was no magic number of days or pill or what have you. I just basically was looking for something, anything that I knew, had felt, tangible that I could relate to.
He said, "You know that feeling you get after breaking up with someone?" I replied, "Yeah." He said, "It's like that. at first it's intense but it just diminishes over time until you don't think about them anymore." I said, "Please tell me it doesn't take 20, years." He laughed and said, "Everyone's break up is different and everyone heals differently. But we do heal." That was something I was able to relate to and hang my hat on. It was really helpful to me. And he is right. It just gets easier every day. So I hope that little nugget he offered me might help someone else.
Have a good one, everyone.
Good morning everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Back this morning as promised.
Like I said in my first post I went to IOP. I, like many of you I'm sure went kicking and screaming.
I was actually intervened by my wife and parents one afternoon after getting off work. I pulled in to my driveway
and saw my parents car in the driveway and I thought, "Why are my parents here?, this can't be good." Funny how I knew in the back of my mind why they were there. There was no emergency, no one had died, no one had been rushed to the hospital. I remember walking in thinking, "Here we go, here comes my intervention." And it was. Normal drinkers would not have to be worried about what they were walking in to when they got home seeing there family on a "surprise" visit.
My foreboding feeling that days is telling and evidence alone that I in fact have a problem with alcohol. However, that day, I would have told you you were crazy. That I just mind my own business and it's just my way to relax after work. The problem is with my wife poking and prodding at me. She is the one starting this. And when the weekend comes all she has to look forward to is me drinking Friday until well into Sunday evening before taking Monday off of drinking, Sometimes and ramping back up until another Friday. But I was fine.
I told everyone I would give it some thought but I would not just pack a bag and head off like you see on TV. I needed a day or two to process it all. What it really meant was I needed them to leave so I could go get my first of 2 nightly bottles of wine out of my car that I had bought about 10 minutes before arriving home. So another week goes by. My wife asking me daily had I made a decision, etc. I receive a text message from our old Minister from church who was in town picking his brother up from the airport and wanted to have lunch.
I had not seen him in a couple of months and thought, "Awesome!" We are about the same age, I'm 44 and he is 45-46. So I got on with him real well and had missed him. I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. So I called my wife and said hey, B is in town and wants to grab lunch. Come join us.
Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, Intervention #2. My parents had called him and my wife. They basically thought, if they couldn't
get through to me maybe he could. This was on a Wednesday and that following Week I started IOP. I just got worn down.
I just said, I'm tired of swimming against the current. Y'all win.
I went feeling anger, rage, betrayal for involving someone whom I looked up to and respected. You name it. I felt it.
I'm glad they did. Beat me into submission, if you will. I feel great. I've lost almost 30 lbs. with almost no effort. I've reclaimed my role in my household. I've picked up old hobbies that the boozed drowned out that I thought I had lost interest in. The list of little awesomes that have happened is endless. It seems
like every day there is something I catch or notice that makes me go, hmm... That is really cool. Like realizing Thanksgiving day would be 90 days. Like it was meant to be.
It was hard at first, as you all can imagine but I can honestly say I haven't thought about it too much lately. It's a pretty amazing feeling. And honestly, the reality is I have a day off work and it's Thursday and I'm having a large bird for lunch that I would normally have on a sandwich. Big deal. Christmas may be different but I can't look that far ahead. Only to today. Today is good.
I guess that is about it for now. The only thing that I'll throw out there if it can help anyone is in about week 2 or 3 I asked someone who was celebrating his 20th year of sobriety when it got better. I knew there was no magic number of days or pill or what have you. I just basically was looking for something, anything that I knew, had felt, tangible that I could relate to.
He said, "You know that feeling you get after breaking up with someone?" I replied, "Yeah." He said, "It's like that. at first it's intense but it just diminishes over time until you don't think about them anymore." I said, "Please tell me it doesn't take 20, years." He laughed and said, "Everyone's break up is different and everyone heals differently. But we do heal." That was something I was able to relate to and hang my hat on. It was really helpful to me. And he is right. It just gets easier every day. So I hope that little nugget he offered me might help someone else.
Have a good one, everyone.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Awesome post!
So glad you made it here, Dimir, it is a great place to hang out!
"Everyone's break up is different and everyone heals differently. But we do heal."
I just love that, especially because it is so true!
So glad you made it here, Dimir, it is a great place to hang out!
"Everyone's break up is different and everyone heals differently. But we do heal."
I just love that, especially because it is so true!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
I'm so glad you joined us, Dimir. I like your attitude! 
I agree that it is similar to a break up. I drank 30 yrs. It was part of everything I did - my constant companion. In the early days without it, I was resentful. I felt exposed & vulnerable. All the negative feelings settled down, though. It was such a relief to be able to trust myself at last. You're doing great.
I agree that it is similar to a break up. I drank 30 yrs. It was part of everything I did - my constant companion. In the early days without it, I was resentful. I felt exposed & vulnerable. All the negative feelings settled down, though. It was such a relief to be able to trust myself at last. You're doing great.
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