What alcohol did for me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 128
What alcohol did for me
In AA we talk about how alcohol made our lives go wrong (jails, institutions, death)
But we never talk about how alcohol made our lives go right.
A lot of the friendships I have, I made when I was drinking. Drinking gave me confidence, enabled me to open up to people, even bond with people. I don't think I would have some of the friendships I do if I'd been sober, because alcohol was the key that unlocked the door.
I've never got used to socializing sober. I've been doing this deal for a long time now and I never get over the social anxiety and awkwardness I feel. I feel like I am connecting with people, somewhat, but not better than I was when I was drinking.
I also think that, in safe amounts, alcohol can reduce stress and help you unwind. I sometimes wonder if all the pressure we're putting on ourselves to be sober, and the unhealthy habits that come with it (i.e. smoking, drinking too much coffee) are actually better than just having a glass of wine at night.
What if I can control it now? When I relapsed it was only 2 drinks. That is a normal, safe amount of alcohol, nothing like the amounts I used to drink.
I know some of you will say this is my AV talking...but what if it's not? How do I know this is an unhealthy voice and not just the truth?
But we never talk about how alcohol made our lives go right.
A lot of the friendships I have, I made when I was drinking. Drinking gave me confidence, enabled me to open up to people, even bond with people. I don't think I would have some of the friendships I do if I'd been sober, because alcohol was the key that unlocked the door.
I've never got used to socializing sober. I've been doing this deal for a long time now and I never get over the social anxiety and awkwardness I feel. I feel like I am connecting with people, somewhat, but not better than I was when I was drinking.
I also think that, in safe amounts, alcohol can reduce stress and help you unwind. I sometimes wonder if all the pressure we're putting on ourselves to be sober, and the unhealthy habits that come with it (i.e. smoking, drinking too much coffee) are actually better than just having a glass of wine at night.
What if I can control it now? When I relapsed it was only 2 drinks. That is a normal, safe amount of alcohol, nothing like the amounts I used to drink.
I know some of you will say this is my AV talking...but what if it's not? How do I know this is an unhealthy voice and not just the truth?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by bringmeback7693 
I know some of you will say this is my AV talking...but what if it's not? How do I know this is an unhealthy voice and not just the truth?
Bottom line, it's really your choice - always is. But the overwhelming evidence suggests that once you are an alcoholic, you are always an alcoholic. Took me decades to accept that but once I did it was the ticket to setting me free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 244
To me, it doesn't make sense to drink poison, even if in moderation. Personally, I would feel shame and regret if I were to have even a sip of a drink. It's been over 7 months since my last drink and my brain chemistry is still not right. It's just not worth it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I don't blame you for pondering the thoughts that you have, but in the end, you have to decide. Do you want to continue to play with fire, or you can abstain from alcohol and that is a situation in which you will always know the outcome.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
It says your join date is Dec 2017. Let me ask you the following question: Since then, how many day 1 posts have you seen, with people thinking that they could drink ‘like normal people’ and now they are completely destroyed and desperate? A million, right? And how many posts have you seen that go something like this: ‘Oh, I went back to drinking two glasses of wine in the evening. I’ve been doing this for 2 years now and it works great!’?
I rest my case.
I rest my case.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Only you can decide what is right for you. I am only on day 33 so very new at this but here are my thoughts about that for me.
When drinking, Friday night would roll around and I would plan on getting drunk, not just have a couple. I would then get drunk, blackout and embarrass myself. Wake up Saturday feeling like crap thinking "I got to watch how much I drink."
then a week, or maybe two, go by not getting blackout drunk but still drinking 5 to 8 drinks a night. I would consider that moderation. Then two weeks or so down the line its Friday night and I repeat the process. I decided it was time to quit for good after one of these Friday nights 33 days ago.
since then I feel much better and what I always considered a mild to moderate depression I had is much better. Sometimes I see people drinking around me and I really want to drink. However, I know I dont want one or two or even five, I like getting drunk.
so to answer your question for me it's a clear answer. If I ever decide to drink again I will certainly go back to my old behavior. I probably would not get blackout drunk the first time but it is 100% bound to happen within a couple weeks.
I like the way I feel sober, 1 or 2 drinks never really did anything anyway, so my plan is total abstinence.
When drinking, Friday night would roll around and I would plan on getting drunk, not just have a couple. I would then get drunk, blackout and embarrass myself. Wake up Saturday feeling like crap thinking "I got to watch how much I drink."
then a week, or maybe two, go by not getting blackout drunk but still drinking 5 to 8 drinks a night. I would consider that moderation. Then two weeks or so down the line its Friday night and I repeat the process. I decided it was time to quit for good after one of these Friday nights 33 days ago.
since then I feel much better and what I always considered a mild to moderate depression I had is much better. Sometimes I see people drinking around me and I really want to drink. However, I know I dont want one or two or even five, I like getting drunk.
so to answer your question for me it's a clear answer. If I ever decide to drink again I will certainly go back to my old behavior. I probably would not get blackout drunk the first time but it is 100% bound to happen within a couple weeks.
I like the way I feel sober, 1 or 2 drinks never really did anything anyway, so my plan is total abstinence.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
D....Don’t
E.....even
N....kNow
I......I
A.....am
L......lying
I loved this when I heard it! It got through to me like nothing else had. If I could drink small amounts infrequently and never lost control I would still have a glass of wine now and again. But that is not what happens, and I do lose control and don’t just have one for long. People you have made friends with whilst drinking that are still good friends who still spend time with you when you are stone cold sober liked you because of the person you are, not because you were drinking.
If a pharmaceutical company had an advert on TV saying it had a wonder pill that makes you fun, confident, helped you make friends, fixed depression and a lack of confidence, wasn’t addictive and made you the best person you could be you’d think they were telling lies and not believe it for a second. That just doesn’t exist via anything we add to our bodies, it comes from within and we already have that gift. We just need to learn how to tap into it. xx
E.....even
N....kNow
I......I
A.....am
L......lying
I loved this when I heard it! It got through to me like nothing else had. If I could drink small amounts infrequently and never lost control I would still have a glass of wine now and again. But that is not what happens, and I do lose control and don’t just have one for long. People you have made friends with whilst drinking that are still good friends who still spend time with you when you are stone cold sober liked you because of the person you are, not because you were drinking.
If a pharmaceutical company had an advert on TV saying it had a wonder pill that makes you fun, confident, helped you make friends, fixed depression and a lack of confidence, wasn’t addictive and made you the best person you could be you’d think they were telling lies and not believe it for a second. That just doesn’t exist via anything we add to our bodies, it comes from within and we already have that gift. We just need to learn how to tap into it. xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
"What if I can control it now?"
You and a couple 10 million others have said the same thing. But let me guess... your ego at best makes you blind to that, at worst it says you're different. I say go read a few chapters of the big book to remind yourself of who you are.
Good luck. See the post above mine about denial.
There's nothing about alcohol that enables us to do anything that we don't already have in us.
-Best of luck. You'll need it.
B
PS - Not trying to be harsh. But I just have to call out making it seem as though there's something about alcohol that is 'special' in the sense that it somehow empowers us to be something we can't be without it. That's total b.s.. And, in fact, my bet is that 'healthy' drinkers who actually can control it don't drink for those reasons.
You and a couple 10 million others have said the same thing. But let me guess... your ego at best makes you blind to that, at worst it says you're different. I say go read a few chapters of the big book to remind yourself of who you are.
Good luck. See the post above mine about denial.
There's nothing about alcohol that enables us to do anything that we don't already have in us.
-Best of luck. You'll need it.
B
PS - Not trying to be harsh. But I just have to call out making it seem as though there's something about alcohol that is 'special' in the sense that it somehow empowers us to be something we can't be without it. That's total b.s.. And, in fact, my bet is that 'healthy' drinkers who actually can control it don't drink for those reasons.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
I don;t think anyone would keep drinking if it was 100% horrible right from the get go.
But focusing on the 'good' parts of drinking makes no sense to me because I have found all those things in sobriety only better:
I have a great social life, great friends and I love my life - I couldn't say any of those things while I was drinking - it was sadness and self loathing punctuated by moments of euphoria.
The really sad thing about addiction is those fleeting moments stand for happiness.
True, sober happiness is an entirely different thing.
I really hope you give yourself a chance to experience that bringmeback.
If you do a pros and cons analysis on drinking, the cons should be way longer.
If they're not I think you have an AV problem.
D
But focusing on the 'good' parts of drinking makes no sense to me because I have found all those things in sobriety only better:
I have a great social life, great friends and I love my life - I couldn't say any of those things while I was drinking - it was sadness and self loathing punctuated by moments of euphoria.
The really sad thing about addiction is those fleeting moments stand for happiness.
True, sober happiness is an entirely different thing.
I really hope you give yourself a chance to experience that bringmeback.
If you do a pros and cons analysis on drinking, the cons should be way longer.
If they're not I think you have an AV problem.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by bringmeback7693
In AA we talk about how alcohol made our lives go wrong (jails, institutions, death)
But we never talk about how alcohol made our lives go right.
A lot of the friendships I have, I made when I was drinking. Drinking gave me confidence, enabled me to open up to people, even bond with people. I don't think I would have some of the friendships I do if I'd been sober, because alcohol was the key that unlocked the door.
I've never got used to socializing sober. I've been doing this deal for a long time now and I never get over the social anxiety and awkwardness I feel. I feel like I am connecting with people, somewhat, but not better than I was when I was drinking.
I also think that, in safe amounts, alcohol can reduce stress and help you unwind. I sometimes wonder if all the pressure we're putting on ourselves to be sober, and the unhealthy habits that come with it (i.e. smoking, drinking too much coffee) are actually better than just having a glass of wine at night.
What if I can control it now? When I relapsed it was only 2 drinks. That is a normal, safe amount of alcohol, nothing like the amounts I used to drink.
I know some of you will say this is my AV talking...but what if it's not? How do I know this is an unhealthy voice and not just the truth?
But we never talk about how alcohol made our lives go right.
A lot of the friendships I have, I made when I was drinking. Drinking gave me confidence, enabled me to open up to people, even bond with people. I don't think I would have some of the friendships I do if I'd been sober, because alcohol was the key that unlocked the door.
I've never got used to socializing sober. I've been doing this deal for a long time now and I never get over the social anxiety and awkwardness I feel. I feel like I am connecting with people, somewhat, but not better than I was when I was drinking.
I also think that, in safe amounts, alcohol can reduce stress and help you unwind. I sometimes wonder if all the pressure we're putting on ourselves to be sober, and the unhealthy habits that come with it (i.e. smoking, drinking too much coffee) are actually better than just having a glass of wine at night.
What if I can control it now? When I relapsed it was only 2 drinks. That is a normal, safe amount of alcohol, nothing like the amounts I used to drink.
I know some of you will say this is my AV talking...but what if it's not? How do I know this is an unhealthy voice and not just the truth?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
My AV tells me what the hell, pick up a 12 pack and drink the afternoon away. And I could. And then I would drain the 12 and go buy more. And the next morning I would have a few for breakfast to ease the hangover. And so it goes. Only by not drinking can I get a grip. And it is not easy. Moderation just does not work for me. Maybe it does for other people. But I doubt I would meet them here.
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