My Story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
My Story
Thought it was time to share a little of my story, in the hope of maybe helping someone else and in the scheme of being open and honest.
On September 14, 2018, I clocked out of work at 1:55 pm. I live about 45-50 minutes away. At 2:30 pm police received a call of an erratic driver on the road I live on, but well past my house. I do not remember leaving work. I was not drinking at work. Its a very public environment and just not something that can be done. At 2:50 pm the police used stop sticks to blow my tires and get me to stop. I have no memory of any of this. Between when I left work and when they did a blood draw at 5:20 pm I had drank enough to have BAL of .27. This is my third DUI charge in the last two years, and it scared the living c r a p out of me because I have no recall of any of it. I am facing 4 felonies, including aggravated assault on a LEO because they are saying I tried to hit a cop car with my car. I know I didn't do that, but it is what it is.
My last drink was on October 31, 2018. I did that to force the woman in my life to walk away. Very intentional on my part. I want to protect her from my mess, for a number of reasons. And I also, very selfishly, don't want to lose her. She is an amazing woman. But I also want her to be protected and sheltered from my mess, so its complicated.
I am on day 21, three weeks, and this is by far the most sober time I have had in maybe a decade or more. Past history is I was in a very abusive marriage for a long time with a borderline and I know now I was self medicating to try and deal with it. I went to rehab. I'm in counseling and I'm in an intensive outpatient program now. I know I've had my last drink, but I also worry its too little too late. I met with my lawyer yesterday and I'm facing anything from probation to several years in prison.
My reason for posting this is simple - I want to be honest and open, it's imperative for my recovery. As most of you know, alcoholics are less than honest. I also wanted to let any of you know, if you think you can beat this on your own, like I did, without putting in the actual effort to really address your issues and fix them, you may not be able to. I was (am?) in a professional field, and I had a lot of smarts going for me, and I couldn't think myself out of my problems. My thinking always led back to the bottle. Get the help you may need. Don't be me. Thank you for reading.
On September 14, 2018, I clocked out of work at 1:55 pm. I live about 45-50 minutes away. At 2:30 pm police received a call of an erratic driver on the road I live on, but well past my house. I do not remember leaving work. I was not drinking at work. Its a very public environment and just not something that can be done. At 2:50 pm the police used stop sticks to blow my tires and get me to stop. I have no memory of any of this. Between when I left work and when they did a blood draw at 5:20 pm I had drank enough to have BAL of .27. This is my third DUI charge in the last two years, and it scared the living c r a p out of me because I have no recall of any of it. I am facing 4 felonies, including aggravated assault on a LEO because they are saying I tried to hit a cop car with my car. I know I didn't do that, but it is what it is.
My last drink was on October 31, 2018. I did that to force the woman in my life to walk away. Very intentional on my part. I want to protect her from my mess, for a number of reasons. And I also, very selfishly, don't want to lose her. She is an amazing woman. But I also want her to be protected and sheltered from my mess, so its complicated.
I am on day 21, three weeks, and this is by far the most sober time I have had in maybe a decade or more. Past history is I was in a very abusive marriage for a long time with a borderline and I know now I was self medicating to try and deal with it. I went to rehab. I'm in counseling and I'm in an intensive outpatient program now. I know I've had my last drink, but I also worry its too little too late. I met with my lawyer yesterday and I'm facing anything from probation to several years in prison.
My reason for posting this is simple - I want to be honest and open, it's imperative for my recovery. As most of you know, alcoholics are less than honest. I also wanted to let any of you know, if you think you can beat this on your own, like I did, without putting in the actual effort to really address your issues and fix them, you may not be able to. I was (am?) in a professional field, and I had a lot of smarts going for me, and I couldn't think myself out of my problems. My thinking always led back to the bottle. Get the help you may need. Don't be me. Thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: DC
Posts: 383
Thanks for putting your story out there - I'm sure this was hard. And man I'm sorry for your current legal situation. I really do hope best case scenario for you when all is resolved.
Your story and others here scare the living sh*t out of me. This is why I have to be here and focus on sobriety. I haven't had legal troubles (God knows only out of luck and the randomness of life) but easily could have and probably should have.
You sharing this has helped me and I'm sure many others that will read it. Being honest can be brutal, but I agree it's necessary for recovery. You're paying it forward.
Hang in there.
Your story and others here scare the living sh*t out of me. This is why I have to be here and focus on sobriety. I haven't had legal troubles (God knows only out of luck and the randomness of life) but easily could have and probably should have.
You sharing this has helped me and I'm sure many others that will read it. Being honest can be brutal, but I agree it's necessary for recovery. You're paying it forward.
Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Thank you. It was hard to put it out there. I really miss the girl, and I really miss her kids. I know God put her in my life to get me sober. I just hope and pray thats not the end of the story. I'm at work, doing ok, and looking forward to the IOP meeting tonight.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 4
Than you for sharing a bit of your story. So terrifying what alcohol can do to us! The tragic situations it can cause us to be in. I know you must be scared of the future, but please hang in there. Thankfully no one got hurt in your blackout. You are still alive...so there is always hope. Keep posting, and I truly wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Thank you all. This forum is an amazing resource for me, and I read it several times per day. Yesterday sucked, but I got through and now have 3 weeks sober, with today being day 22. Thanks for the well wishes, the legal stuff will work out how it will work out. I'm hoping its not that bad and I continue to improve myself. I like myself for the first time in a long time. I'm proud of the 22 days. Have a good Thanksgiving, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by dafunbra 
Thought it was time to share a little of my story, in the hope of maybe helping someone else and in the scheme of being open and honest.
On September 14, 2018, I clocked out of work at 1:55 pm. I live about 45-50 minutes away. At 2:30 pm police received a call of an erratic driver on the road I live on, but well past my house. I do not remember leaving work. I was not drinking at work. Its a very public environment and just not something that can be done. At 2:50 pm the police used stop sticks to blow my tires and get me to stop. I have no memory of any of this. Between when I left work and when they did a blood draw at 5:20 pm I had drank enough to have BAL of .27. This is my third DUI charge in the last two years, and it scared the living c r a p out of me because I have no recall of any of it. I am facing 4 felonies, including aggravated assault on a LEO because they are saying I tried to hit a cop car with my car. I know I didn't do that, but it is what it is.
My last drink was on October 31, 2018. I did that to force the woman in my life to walk away. Very intentional on my part. I want to protect her from my mess, for a number of reasons. And I also, very selfishly, don't want to lose her. She is an amazing woman. But I also want her to be protected and sheltered from my mess, so its complicated.
I am on day 21, three weeks, and this is by far the most sober time I have had in maybe a decade or more. Past history is I was in a very abusive marriage for a long time with a borderline and I know now I was self medicating to try and deal with it. I went to rehab. I'm in counseling and I'm in an intensive outpatient program now. I know I've had my last drink, but I also worry its too little too late. I met with my lawyer yesterday and I'm facing anything from probation to several years in prison.
My reason for posting this is simple - I want to be honest and open, it's imperative for my recovery. As most of you know, alcoholics are less than honest. I also wanted to let any of you know, if you think you can beat this on your own, like I did, without putting in the actual effort to really address your issues and fix them, you may not be able to. I was (am?) in a professional field, and I had a lot of smarts going for me, and I couldn't think myself out of my problems. My thinking always led back to the bottle. Get the help you may need. Don't be me. Thank you for reading.
On September 14, 2018, I clocked out of work at 1:55 pm. I live about 45-50 minutes away. At 2:30 pm police received a call of an erratic driver on the road I live on, but well past my house. I do not remember leaving work. I was not drinking at work. Its a very public environment and just not something that can be done. At 2:50 pm the police used stop sticks to blow my tires and get me to stop. I have no memory of any of this. Between when I left work and when they did a blood draw at 5:20 pm I had drank enough to have BAL of .27. This is my third DUI charge in the last two years, and it scared the living c r a p out of me because I have no recall of any of it. I am facing 4 felonies, including aggravated assault on a LEO because they are saying I tried to hit a cop car with my car. I know I didn't do that, but it is what it is.
My last drink was on October 31, 2018. I did that to force the woman in my life to walk away. Very intentional on my part. I want to protect her from my mess, for a number of reasons. And I also, very selfishly, don't want to lose her. She is an amazing woman. But I also want her to be protected and sheltered from my mess, so its complicated.
I am on day 21, three weeks, and this is by far the most sober time I have had in maybe a decade or more. Past history is I was in a very abusive marriage for a long time with a borderline and I know now I was self medicating to try and deal with it. I went to rehab. I'm in counseling and I'm in an intensive outpatient program now. I know I've had my last drink, but I also worry its too little too late. I met with my lawyer yesterday and I'm facing anything from probation to several years in prison.
My reason for posting this is simple - I want to be honest and open, it's imperative for my recovery. As most of you know, alcoholics are less than honest. I also wanted to let any of you know, if you think you can beat this on your own, like I did, without putting in the actual effort to really address your issues and fix them, you may not be able to. I was (am?) in a professional field, and I had a lot of smarts going for me, and I couldn't think myself out of my problems. My thinking always led back to the bottle. Get the help you may need. Don't be me. Thank you for reading.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Originally Posted by Chaisson
I haven't had legal troubles (God knows only out of luck and the randomness of life) but easily could have and probably should have.
I'm sure the only reason I got so lucky was because I live in a nice area of families and professionals. You almost never see cops around here. They hang out in other parts of town where all the UF students drink and live and leave us alone.
Stories like his make me very thankful I "woke up" before it got any worse.
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