Surrounded by Booze
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Surrounded by Booze
"How am I going to survive in a world where everyone drinks?" That was my AV yesterday. I wanted to share a bit of insight I had about this particular attack.
I've seen this theme bounce around here often - the question is asked in different ways, but it can be boiled down to 'doesn't it seem that EVERYONE drinks?' or 'is there ANYTHING to do that doesn't involve drinking?'
At various points I've caught myself on different ends of the spectrum as I consider an answer. It's certainly an issue for me and will become one even more when I am free again and not as heavily supervised. I need to have an answer, and up to yesterday I hadn't really convinced myself that I believed any of the answers I've thus far given.
I've floated from the mindset of 'there's plenty to do that doesn't involve drinking' to 'doesn't really matter, just enjoy life without it even if others are doing it.'
To be honest, neither felt really right or true - or neither answer got deep enough to really scratch the itch the AV is aggravating. To be honest, especially the 'there's plenty to do' felt like b.s..
So yesterday, as I was wrapping up a planning session with 2 co-workers, we talked in depth about my accident and alcohol and drunk driving, etc.. They were great and I felt safe with them to be open. They both drink. And they both seemed to express a touch of incredulity at my claim that I am done. Done done.
And on the way home I felt the AV knocking. And it brought the 'how are you going to survive in a world where everyone drinks' voice. And I realized this:
It doesn't matter. It's probably true that many, many people drink. That many, many social events and issues involve or even revolve around booze. But it doesn't matter.
The answer to living a sober life is to live a sober life. Empower yourself. Go find it. Whatever 'it' is. But recognize that feeling lost or lonely or un-empowered in the face of the ever present nature of booze is simply self-pity... and that's the alcoholic in me looking for an excuse and a means to give myself permission.
So the answer to 'how am I going to survive in a world surrounded by booze' is that I'm going to survive sober in a world that wants to surround me by booze... by whatever means necessary.
If that means we have to completely shun all people, places, things involving booze so be it. If that means we can co-exist without being influenced so be it.
No one can answer that question for you but you. And that's the point. We've spent enough time in our lives undermining ourselves and dis-empowering ourselves to the influence of others, the world, and booze. Sobriety is about standing on our own two feet and carving out a bit of space in the universe to define what we want it to look like.
Sure, it may be hard. And I'm not saying don't bitch and complain about it. God knows I will. But in the end, none of that is relevant. The answer is actually quite direct and simple...
What kind of life am I going to live? What am I going to do soberly today? What interests will I develop that exist indifferent of booze and what others and the rest of the herd think? These are the things to think about and go experience. I will not allow booze to define my life - with it or without it. Even sober it would define me, if I let it.
Thanks for letting me share.
-B
I've seen this theme bounce around here often - the question is asked in different ways, but it can be boiled down to 'doesn't it seem that EVERYONE drinks?' or 'is there ANYTHING to do that doesn't involve drinking?'
At various points I've caught myself on different ends of the spectrum as I consider an answer. It's certainly an issue for me and will become one even more when I am free again and not as heavily supervised. I need to have an answer, and up to yesterday I hadn't really convinced myself that I believed any of the answers I've thus far given.
I've floated from the mindset of 'there's plenty to do that doesn't involve drinking' to 'doesn't really matter, just enjoy life without it even if others are doing it.'
To be honest, neither felt really right or true - or neither answer got deep enough to really scratch the itch the AV is aggravating. To be honest, especially the 'there's plenty to do' felt like b.s..
So yesterday, as I was wrapping up a planning session with 2 co-workers, we talked in depth about my accident and alcohol and drunk driving, etc.. They were great and I felt safe with them to be open. They both drink. And they both seemed to express a touch of incredulity at my claim that I am done. Done done.
And on the way home I felt the AV knocking. And it brought the 'how are you going to survive in a world where everyone drinks' voice. And I realized this:
It doesn't matter. It's probably true that many, many people drink. That many, many social events and issues involve or even revolve around booze. But it doesn't matter.
The answer to living a sober life is to live a sober life. Empower yourself. Go find it. Whatever 'it' is. But recognize that feeling lost or lonely or un-empowered in the face of the ever present nature of booze is simply self-pity... and that's the alcoholic in me looking for an excuse and a means to give myself permission.
So the answer to 'how am I going to survive in a world surrounded by booze' is that I'm going to survive sober in a world that wants to surround me by booze... by whatever means necessary.
If that means we have to completely shun all people, places, things involving booze so be it. If that means we can co-exist without being influenced so be it.
No one can answer that question for you but you. And that's the point. We've spent enough time in our lives undermining ourselves and dis-empowering ourselves to the influence of others, the world, and booze. Sobriety is about standing on our own two feet and carving out a bit of space in the universe to define what we want it to look like.
Sure, it may be hard. And I'm not saying don't bitch and complain about it. God knows I will. But in the end, none of that is relevant. The answer is actually quite direct and simple...
What kind of life am I going to live? What am I going to do soberly today? What interests will I develop that exist indifferent of booze and what others and the rest of the herd think? These are the things to think about and go experience. I will not allow booze to define my life - with it or without it. Even sober it would define me, if I let it.
Thanks for letting me share.
-B
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Originally Posted by Buckley3 
No one can answer that question for you but you. And that's the point. We've spent enough time in our lives undermining ourselves and dis-empowering ourselves to the influence of others, the world, and booze. Sobriety is about standing on our own two feet and carving out a bit of space in the universe to define what we want it to look like.
-B
-B
I hope you are keeping your posts in a journal, Buckley.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Terrific post Buck, thank you!
I'm currently spending the holidays in New Orleans. Never the most fun town to be sober in. Nonetheless, sober I'll be. Thanks for the thoughts, will use them this week.
I'm currently spending the holidays in New Orleans. Never the most fun town to be sober in. Nonetheless, sober I'll be. Thanks for the thoughts, will use them this week.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 118
My experience/opinion only, but I've never been especially convinced that we do live in a world where everyone drinks or that we're surrounded by alcohol.
I think we alcoholics tend to believe that we're surrounded, particularly in early sobriety, but unless I specifically search for it, I don't find alcohol more "in my face" than any number of other things.
For me it's been more "How am I going to survive in the world?"
Again, just my own observations.
I think we alcoholics tend to believe that we're surrounded, particularly in early sobriety, but unless I specifically search for it, I don't find alcohol more "in my face" than any number of other things.
For me it's been more "How am I going to survive in the world?"
Again, just my own observations.
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