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Done Lurking- Day 11

Old 11-15-2018, 04:58 PM
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Done Lurking- Day 11

The first time I found this site, I was newly married and problem drinking. Periodically through the years, I’ve come back wondering if I have a problem. I typically spin into cycles of drinking heavily after stressful events like my parents’ divorce, miscarriages, or the like. I’ve been pregnant 5 times in 7 years and have 3 living children whose existence helped me gain long stretches of soberity. In the past year, I can’t make the sober goals I set, like a month sober. I find myself able to take down a bottle of wine by myself and then some. I’m on day 11, and I’m so incredibly irritable. I’m afraid if I don’t make a step like signing up here I won’t make it through the holidays because I’m too afraid to admit to others I have a problem. Thanks for listening.
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Old 11-15-2018, 05:01 PM
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Welcome to the family. You don't have to 'admit' your problem to anyone. When you're not drinking, it's just that - not drinking. You don't owe anyone explanations.

Glad you joined us and congrats on 11 days sober!
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Old 11-15-2018, 05:15 PM
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Welcome and be proud of yourself for getting to Day 11. It's normal to be very irritable in early recovery, but things will improve. It's good to be concerned about the holidays so you will have time to prepare a plan that will work for you. And, you don't have to tell anyone that you have stopped drinking. A 'No, thanks' should be all that is necessary. It might be a good idea to try to avoid get-togethers where alcohol is the main focus. I had to stay away from such situations for many months in early recovery. The main thing to remember is that you are doing the right thing and things will get better.
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Old 11-15-2018, 05:39 PM
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Welcome, Melsbells. It's so good to have you with us. We're an encouraging & understanding group. I'm not sure where I'd be if not for the support I've found here.

You're very self aware & willing to admit your growing dependence on it. My life would've been so different if only I'd done what you're doing. Be glad that you've taken steps to get free of it. The irritability & edginess will settle down as you adjust to the new normal.
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Old 11-15-2018, 07:17 PM
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Hi Melsbells, it is great you are reaching out here. This is such a supportive forum. I don’t have much to add to what others have said. I strongly agree that you don’t need to tell anyone anything you are not comfortable with. You have a right to privacy and self protection. I was a very private heavy drinker, and my recovery has been private as well (except for here at SR). I’ve told different people different things as to why I’m not drinking. But ultimately I realized like least said that I don’t owe anyone any explanation at all. These days I just tend to say that alcohol doesn’t agree with me anymore. I also happen to live in a very health conscious community and it’s become more acceptable to use better health as a reason not to drink.

As you continue to pass up urges to drink, the irritability will become less. Life will get so much better as you progress in sobriety. Life problems still happen but they are easier to manage when sober.

I hope to see you around here!
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Old 11-15-2018, 07:26 PM
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welcome, Melsbells.
getting connected with others in cyberspace was the first concrete step I took in very early days, too. it has served me well and so I'd encourage you to make it part of your routine.
way to go on your sober days.
keep going!
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Old 11-15-2018, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Melsbells View Post
I can’t make the sober goals I set, like a month sober. I find myself able to take down a bottle of wine by myself and then some. I’m on day 11, and I’m so incredibly irritable. I’m afraid if I don’t make a step like signing up here I won’t make it through the holidays because I’m too afraid to admit to others I have a problem. Thanks for listening.
Sounds familiar. It slowly just keeps getting worse if you don't stop.

I think the irritability will soon die off. A counselor told me that 3 days without drinking is when alcoholics often start to feel irritable, and that was true for me. Three days was the longest I could go without drinking, and then I would start being annoyed at everything and start drinking again. You have to ride that out, but it does pass.
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Old 11-15-2018, 10:50 PM
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Welcome Melsbells! Fabulous job on 11 days. I used to be a lurker but once I started participating I got so much more from this site. SR has been a huge help to me in getting and staying sober: I didn't think I could do it, and I was about as far down as one gets and not be dead but thanks to a strong plan and the advice and encouragement here I now have 2 years, 11 months sober and got motivated to start school again to get my degree in social work; I'm 58 years old and it's never too late! You can do this, and I hope you continue to stick around and keep posting.
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Old 11-16-2018, 06:25 AM
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Welcome to SR!

The Holidays can be a tough time for newly sober people.

I think it will help if you log on here every single day for the next 60 days. Also, if things get rough, try going to an AA meeting.
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Old 11-16-2018, 06:36 AM
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Welcome!

Admitting it is a great first step.

You can absolutely make it through the day and the holidays without a drink and without an explanation to anyone.

I was pretty emotionally raw at day 11 too. It will get better, just hang on!
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Old 11-16-2018, 07:05 PM
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Thank you, everyone. I read these responses this morning, and I felt reassured that what I am going through is a normal part of the drying out process. I appreciate the reassurance and perspective. I’m headed to bed after day 12!
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Old 11-16-2018, 07:15 PM
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Yes, make SR an important part of your recovery. Check in often and let us know how you're doing. Ask questions. We have a wealth of information and experience.

I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety. It takes some effort, but it's worth it.
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Old 11-16-2018, 08:24 PM
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Congratulations on 11 days. That’s huge. Keep reading here, and posting. I am at 60 days and that has helped me so much. My emotions are still very up and down. Someone said in a meeting recently, “my worst day sober, is still better than my best day drunk” this was so true to me. Especially when I’m feeling all over the place emotional. Good luck to you!!
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