Wastinglife

Why are some of us so incapable of liking ourselves? Is self-loathing a main drink trigger for some?

Spider

Yes, I do. I have found some measure of resistance to this with a therapist whom I both trust and respect. I presume that a network of close friends would help as well. In any event, I know intellectually I have been good, done good, and am motivated by good...but I can't stop the constant preoccupation with my failures. Good luck with it.

orderfororder

The thing is, drinking only exacerbates that feeling. You get caught in a negative feedback loop since drinking all of the time tends to keep you stuck in the same place, preventing growth and change. It is through this change and the accomplishments that come along that we can start to feel better about ourselves.

doggonecarl

For me, self loathing was the result of my drinking and drugging, not a trigger for using.

Andante

Agree with Carl. I had terrible self-loathing in my drinking days, not only because of regret over my behavior, but because the alcohol itself over time warped my thinking and emotions.

Once I stopped drinking long enough for my brain chemistry to stabilize, the worst of the self-loathing began to moderate. I still struggle with self-esteem issues, but nothing like the way it was when I was drinking. It's a lot more manageable with alcohol out of the equation.

PeacefulWater12

This was how it was for me too. I started to loath myself for my horrible behaviours drinking and enabling my drinking. Then even more loathing as I kept trying and failing to quit.

The self loathing went when I did manage to quit and started working on myself and also putting right the horrible things I had done.

least

I hated myself when I was drinking. Woke up hating myself each day. Always depressed.

After I'd been sober for a while, the self loathing went away.

entropy1964

My self loathing was because of my drinking. But yes, I would then crave a drink as my 'solution' to the pain of sitting with those feelings. Obviously that's kind of at the center of the insanity. The solution is the problem is the solution is the problem.

WL the only way to get out of this cycle is to admit defeat. Alcohol won't work. You're going to have to sit with the feelings. And then keep doing the right thing, each day. As time goes on your self esteem grows and you will do less regrettable stuff.

To feel good ya gotta do good. There are no short cuts. And the fastest way to increased self loathing? Keep drinking.

DontRemember

If **I** were you, I'd go to inpatient rehab.

Buckley3

For me it got to a point of letting go. I feel like it's somehow related to the whole control thing and over-active ego thing. Like, if I just hate myself enough maybe someone will care... me me me me me.

I mean, really, why should I put myself through it? What's the point? Who really cares anyway? I'm me and I'm getting ok with that. Especially since I don't go out and act like an intolerable dummy anymore.

It's just not worth the energy or effort to beat on myself.

-B

Dee74

For me its a little of what my family told me and a little more of what I told myself.

When I found drugs and alcohol they ended up feeding my self loathing, not curing it.

It can be worked through - but I believe we have to be sober to do that.

D