hummingbird358

Need to vent... I don't understand why grocery stores are putting in "cafes".... Seriously, if you can't go to the grocery store without drinking then you have a problem. They are now putting in bar stools, etc so those who want to sit and have a drink can do so...
What about the parents who are bringing their children into grocery shop? The "cafe" is not separated from the other sections. It is not "closed" off for children not to see...
I don't understand how this is the norm now. It is sickening. Alcohol has ruined my family, my life... To me it is just as bad as heroin, crack, etc.
It sickens me that every where you look there is alcohol.

dawnrising

I was at a parents weekend at one of my children's colleges, so many drunk parents all in the name of game day. A 50 year old dad literally passed out on the front porch of a greek house, couples leaving the hotel to go out at 9 pm so hammered they couldn't walk. I felt so sorry for their kids, what an embarrassment!

Wamama48

Hummingbird, you're preaching to the choir. I agree with you.

FeelingGreat

A cafe in Australia means coffee. I would hate to see cafes with bar stools selling alcohol. Who needs it?

Another bug of mine is getting wine emails from my Frequent Flier club. I don't want temptation delivered to my inbox.

August252015

It isn't anyone else's fault that we drink. Unsubscribe from emails. Don't pay attention to ads, don't go to places that bug you. Don't laugh or share memes or buy products that celebrate drinking. The list of what doesn't matter if we need to be sober is endless.

Live a full sober life and don't worry about others.

MCESaint

Here, in Missouri, gambling addicts can voluntarily put their name on a list to be barred from entering a casino. When you enter a casino here, you have to present an ID. If you're on the "barred list" you don't get in (I know, right? If you know you've put yourself on the list why would you try, but it happens . . .)

I *do* wish that alcoholics could do something similar - perhaps tied to the driver's license (or state issued picture ID for non-drivers). These all have the magnetic stripe OR a bar code on them that can be machine read - so it doesn't have to be "public" Instead its coded into the stripe or bar code.

So, if you go to restaurant, gas station, etc. the server/clerk should ID the customer (which they should be doing for age anyway) run it quickly through a machineand determine whether the person has (voluntarily) placed themselves on the "do not serve booze" list.

I know, I know, if they want to drink, they'll drink. Mouthwash if necessary.

But, I also think that there are those who - if they had a last ditch backstop - might be helped.

So, if you show up on the list and are trying to buy booze, maybe some sort of first responder shows up and puts them in contact with a counselor, etc.

MCESaint

trailmix

We have the same thing here with casinos but not everyone gets carded, identification is done by security personnel, visually.

The whole card scanning thing sounds very big brother-ish.

As for alcohol in the supermarket cafe, that's rather sad but greed is a strong motivator. I would boycott the store and I would let them know why.

Sissyfuss

I live in Michigan and shopping in our regional big box store Miejers I was dumbfounded to see them giving out free samples of booze. Not very much but I think it was vodka which never had much taste that I can remember from when I drank 40 years ago. Talk about triggering, I'm sure they're not asking if you're an alcoholic before handing you some booze. Think of a recently sober person innocently shopping for groceries and wham, have a drink on us. That will increase sales but set people back who were totally blindsided. I registered a complaint but I'm sure they ignored it. Very sad.

Marcutah1

It's all about separating you from your money. I agree with August and find another store that dosen't have the cafe. They have opened 2 more liquor stores very near me so that I cannot find a back way into my home with out seeing a sign. They used to close at 7:00 and now they are opened until 10:00 AND now have Sunday hours. My AV would quiet down after 7:00 when I knew that I could not buy any. Now not so much. I will prevail though.

trailmix

I hear the wisdom in what you say August but hummingbird's Son is the alcoholic so I can see how seeing alcohol served in a place where children are around can be quite disturbing.

While I agree with your points I also don't think that people need to serve drugs in the supermarket. This is not a "keeping to your own side of the street" problem imo, this is a societal problem and something that anyone who feels strongly enough about should speak up about, anyway, just my thoughts on it.

August252015

Drugs?

biminiblue

I think the point here is that we are all responsible for what goes in our own mouths.

I voted against liquor being sold anywhere other than in a state-run liquor store. The voters didn't agree with me. Now it's everywhere. I am still responsible for what my own hand and my own mouth do.

The same could be said for the obesity crisis and the cookies, chips and soda aisle. There is a full aisle of soda. A full freezer section of ice cream and frozen desserts. It's still up to me to walk right by them and only buy produce and meats and dairy. Many people are slowly killing themselves by being overweight... Different? Not really, the same responsibility applies.

trailmix

That's how I see alcohol, as a drug.

Don't get me wrong, I drink, so I'm not some puritan up on a pedestal.

I have just always though of alcohol that way, not as a beverage as a drug. Which it is.

CentralOhioDad

Agree, it's mind-altering

Rose7788

Yes its in the media so much. I think it just normalizes the behavior for alcoholics. They see the alcohol in the media, the stores advertising and everywhere and think its ok for them to drink if everyone else is doing it. Problem is in the normal world (whatever that is) most people only have one or two drinks if any at all.

August252015

^ exactly.

And re alcohol being a drug, sure. It is legal however so it is going to be accessible. And here, The "Mimosa Bill" passed yesterday so restaurants can start serving at 11am on Sun instead of having to wait til 1230. People who drink responsibly are going to do so whether they do it at 11 over brunch or 1230 or....and people like me would get drunk (maybe even BYO in a coffee travel mug, hmmm) whether I had to wait til a certain time or not. It's definitely a staying in my lane thing,all of this.

I do think some of this stuff is "too much"- but nobody was forcing me to drink, or go places with alcohol or.....and in sobriety, a lot of this stuff proves for good, honest conversation for my husband me (he is in recovery too) to have with my step kids. They are 20 and 16 and the reality is that they will choose to drink, or not. Being open about why we cannot and do not, and we are AA people which they know and hear about sometimes, and having conversations about what's out there, so to speak, is something we feel is important. That's my version of "not staying in my lane" so to speak because the reality, dangers, and habits around alcohol are very personal to our whole family.

trailmix

I totally believe in personal accountability - absolutely and for sure.

And you are absolutely right, if people want to drink they will drink, whether the liquor store or bar or restaurant is open or closed, doesn't make an iota of difference.

I just don't like seeing alcohol marketed to children, which is how I see this, just my personal take on it.

biminiblue

I'd like to see candy, soda, and other high cal/low nutrition foods NOT marketed to children, either. Those were gateway substances for me. They helped me escape and led to my feeling better.

Honestly, I got alcohol as a kid, and candy. I had no money. I didn't find out about it at the grocery store, I didn't have to. I'm on the depressive side and they both help(ed) with those feelings, so I did whatever I could to get them.

No one had to market it to me. It was right there on top of the refrigerator for me to drink. My parents brought it into my house, I saw them drink it and so I tried it too. At eleven I was stealing candy and alcohol. I react strongly to both those substances. Once I tried it, I was all in. It's a flaw in some people.

By the time I was 18 (legal drinking age) I had a full fledged addiction going and it didn't stop until I was miserable enough to stop it in my early thirties.

trailmix

I agree with you bimini, I also believe that some people are just made that way. I don't think of it as a flaw as such, we are all just different.

I've read in the Alcoholism forum here, alcoholics say - I took that first drink and it was love at first sip. As I said, I drink but I've never had that reaction to alcohol. Thankfully!

Yeah in an ideal world candy wouldn't be marketed to children either, or alcohol or weed (which it all is where I live).

That is the reality though and it is up to the parents to circumvent that to the best of their ability. Unfortunately for many, that's not even going to cut it and I completely get that.

It's funny how cigarettes (where I live) cannot be on display and cannot be sold in a store where there is also a pharmacy. Alcohol is only sold in liquor stores here but can be advertised pretty much anywhere.

LovePeaceSushi

Our state didn't allow wine sales in groceries until recently. Now they've got it everywhere...over by the cheese, in the floral department, by the butcher ..it's ridiculous. My AH would take his own, though....just strolling up and down the aisle with his drink.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just hypersensitive about it because of all the hell alcohol has brought into my life...
Lord, I'm just so sick of it.