argillaceous

I'm back. Things keep drifting from not great, to bad to worse. I haven't gotten to the point which got me to join Feb 2017, but as Dee has pointed out many times, it just gets harder every time to get back up.

But I'm getting back up, or at least trying. This time I'm being honest with my therapist and we talk about the alcohol every week. I've looked up AA meetings nearby but haven't gone yet, and I've discussed possibly going into rehab if needed.

My chronic pain issues cloud a lot of life, and have kept me mostly housebound for years, but I'm in a place where I'm trying hard again to configure some sort of life for myself where I get contact with people (and dogs, always more dogs!)

And I'm posting this accountability thread, something I've never done. As of now, I've gotten through Day 1, and I know from experience that momentum builds once I get 7 or 10 days behind me. That said, I have never made 14, though tried many times since joining. It would mean a lot to get there, and then beyond.

But for now, it is one day at a time, until one day becomes 14. So this thread is specific to that goal. I will check in every day, and may be checking and posting a lot; hope that's OK. Thanks in advance for the support. Argie

Dee74

welcome back Argi

I deal with chronic pain too - I'd much rather deal with it sober than drinking.

You can do this

D

least

I hope you can use this site to help you achieve lasting sobriety.

argillaceous

Thanks Dee and Least. I've been able to do more with SR than in any of the attempts the prior 35 years. It's good to be back as it means I am bringing one more very important resource to my toolkit.

Will check in tomorrow.

Misc72

HI Argi!! Nice to see you doing this. AKA Sunshine72 had to change name

August252015

Glad you are back.

argillaceous

Joy! ohmygosh, I was so excited to see your name show up, though it's going to be hard not to think of you as sunshine. I have a huge fondness for our the original NInja class (as first suggested by you wanting to go Ninja on AV if I remember correctly), and also, just for your continued support. It means a lot to me to know you are out there. I hope you, fam, and doggies are doing OK. Need to go dig up those Ninja stars you sent me oh-so-long ago. I could really use them now.

Good news for today is that I passed two liquor stores and didn't stop. Didn't sleep much last night due to the pain, but am hoping I can stay clear-headed and not cave in to drinking to ease the jaw pain that has gotten worse of late. Will check in later. Thanks for the welcome back August; I love Atlanta, one of my best friends from college lives there.

Aloha for now...

argillaceous

Hi all, no real reason to bump this other than I need to hold myself accountable for my 14-day goal. Day 3 today and almost caved. Instead laid down and tried to do some mindfulness through breathing. Got past the anger and despair I was feeling.

Hope everyone is doing OK today. I continue to be grateful for SR being here.

Gilmer

Good job, Argi!

I find that accountability is a very valuable motivator for me in times of crisis. Whether your support base is SR, AA, another group, or a combination thereof, after awhile you start feeling that your accountability partners are your “team,” your own little merry band—and after the camaraderie has been established, your ability to drink without impunity decreases.

You find that no matter how strong a temptation might be, you just can’t bear to “let the team down.”

Of course, ultimately in a support setting the only ones we really let down are ourselves; but the idea of not letting the team down becomes a thing of personal honor after a time.

Let people really get to know you on this thread so we can respond fondly and knowledgeably.

You’ll hopefully see how solidly the bond of affection builds.

peacefulintent

Hang in there Argi. One day at a time. I have not been on SR continuously for these past months but when I saw the word Ninjas, it made me smile. Sunshine really got us kicking together.
Accountability is a good thing and I am sending you ninja power vibes so you can stay with it! You are in my thoughts.