bluedog1997

Anna

I don't talk about my alcoholism with friends/family because it's a very personal journey to me. However, I would think that discussing your alcoholism in AA meetings would be a safe environment.

biminiblue

I was not able to share in AA meetings either. I went for a few months but I just couldn't get past the intrusive feeling of listening to other peoples' horror stories. There was no way I was going to share personal intimate details of my life or my drinking history in a room full of people from my community. Nope.

Have you thought about maybe some one-to-one therapy or talking to a clergy member? That would be confidential.

Ghostlight1

I hear ya. The first few years I would not tell anyone, not in AA, I am an alcoholic.
But once I got some years behind me, I don't mind telling people at all.
I think a lot of people realize it when I don't drink at social events.
I've been sober nine and a half years, so I've had some time to get used to the fact that I'm an alcoholic.
Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me.
But, I've told all my friends and family with, I want to say pride, but without shame that I'm an alcoholic.

Sharing at meeting, on the other hand, was a thing I could just not do.
I don't know why. Or when I did share it was very brief.
I just don't feel comfortable doing it.
I'm more of a listener anyway.
Once you get some time behind you I think things will take a natural progression and you'll feel better about it.
Best to you.

MantaLady

For my first month at rehab each time someone new came (which was almost daily) we had to go round the group and introduce ourselves, I just couldn’t say Hi, I’m mantady and I am an alcoholic”. I used to say “I am here for alcohol”. Eventually after many AA and NA meetings alongside the daily sessions I managed to refer to myself as an alcoholic. It was really hard to say those words so I get how you feel. x

fini

the suggestion, straight from the book, in AA meetings is to share in general terms. if you find yourself in a meeting with tons of shares about intimate horror stories, it might be a good idea to check out other meetings where there is more focus on the suggested solution.
another suggestion is to connect with a couple of folks you feel an affinity with and build a more intimately-sharing connection.
and of course if you had/have a sponsor, there is usually a more personal and open relationship there.
other than in very general and very short terms, i don't share in meetings about my private struggles.

Guener

What I'm going to say is slightly off-topic, so forgive me, but it was interesting to me at the time. When I was in rehab and introduced myself as an alcoholic, the response from many (mostly opioid addicts) was along the lines of "is that all?". As if it wasn't hard enough to admit you're an alcoholic, somebody thinks that its a second class malady, you weak minded (old) man... I don't think many people understand just how serious alcoholism is both physically and, psychologically, to admit it out loud.

MantaLady

Guener, I absolutely here you there! There was a snobbery from heroin/crack addicts who looked down on you as you weren’t a proper addict, not like them and we were just imposters. That did change the longer they were there though as they soon were shown different.

Sorry peeps, we got off topic there! x

Accord1

Hope1989

You can be honest in AA (I'm not a big fan of it). However, you don't have to go around saying "I'm an alcoholic". If someone asks why you're not drinking, you can just say you're a terrible drinker (Technically, that's true).

To be honest, maybe besides your loved ones, no one cares about your drinking habits. People are just curious, that's all. Even if they figure it out, they will hardly care.

I think the real challenge is, to be honest with yourself. If you know you are an alcoholic and need to get and be sober, that's good enough.

PhoenixJ

UI understand about not being secretive. That was my watchword when drinking- hiding, lying, avoiding....
BUT not telling others about our alcoholism? Need to know IMO. The label of 'alcoholic' was one I avoided for years, and the self imposed shame and stigma I attached to it did not help.
NOW- I believe saying it, that I am an alcoholic is empowering. BUT I do not shout it to the world. For a time- I was a boy scout and was honest to everyone about everything. But after a time- I began to share my past as needed.

Support to you.

Dee74

I told everybody when I quit - but I didn't have to do that.
Public declarations are not a prerequisite for change.

Admit it to yourself privately - that you can do - and put your shoulder to the wheel bluedog

D

Derringer

Understanding alcoholism is a good way to let go of the shame.

If someone has an allergy to a food, no embarrassment, no shame .... they just cannot eat whatever it is (Peanuts, eggs, seafood etc)

An "allergy" is simply an abnormal reaction to a food, drink, substance, pollen and so on.

So in our case, the abnormal reaction is that our bodies crave more alcohol once we commence to drink.

Regular drinkers don't get this. Ask someone you know who drinks moderately if they seem to get an "unquenchable thirst" .... they'll probably look at you funny before saying "Ummm, No, if I drink too much I start to feel sick, so I don't"

There problem is pretty much the opposite.

So just like an allergy sufferer, or someone with diabetes ..... you didn't ask for this allergy to come along ..... it just is. No shame.

DontRemember

I didn't and don't publicly proclaim the 'why' I no longer drink. People I care about/care about me and my well being know 'why'. As for AA..I was court ordered after joining here 2yrs or so prior looking to stop and could not wait to get my crap out in the open, to like minded/struggling folks. HUGE wight lifted and doing so put me on the path I'm on. I'm not an avid AA'er,but just getting the 'why I did what I did' off my chest to some stranger's faces/judgments helped(I call it 'owning my BS actions/inactions')... I also hit a couple 1/1 therapy sessions with a lady that focused on addiction recovery.

Dee74

Hows it going bluedog?

D

bluedog1997

DontRemember

It really does help tons to get it out there,in person, IME..Some can do it with only online help,but I was only 'faking' half my crap on here and not taking any advice that was given(which a lotta folks told me to go to AA/therapy). Once I shared at AA and therapy(owned my crap) I felt way calmer about the fact I can no longer drink and realized how small of a 'thing' that really was to give up for my health and freedom from obsession. Really opened up a new world for me and I was able to deal with all the 'bad ideas/situations' my drinking had brought/hidden for far too long. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

bluedog1997

elisava

it always seems shameful admitting that you are "less than" or not in control.
but those close to you already know. it is SO freeing to bite the bullet and just say something along the lines of "I have a problem with X".
you will see the relief in their face and you will feel a million times lighter. you do not have to elaborate.
if they are closer enough to you, imho, you can sketch out your plan for recovery. not so much that it puts them in a position of responsibility (your recovery, your responsibility).
it's tough, but totally worth it if you are serious