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Old 10-29-2018, 02:00 PM
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Hey Y'all

New to this forum. I stopped drinking last week. Not inclined to go to AA meetings and thought this would be a decent alternative. I am told you can't stop on your own. So far I feel OK and wonder how long I can last. Previously, I stopped for as long as a month until something got under my skin and I said the heck with it and started to drink again.
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Old 10-29-2018, 03:02 PM
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Welcome and I'm glad you found us.

If you look around here, you will see members who have used various recovery plans, and you will see some who did stop drinking on their own. The support you find here will be beneficial, but you may want to add other things to your recovery program, too. My belief is, your motivation to stop is the most important thing.
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Old 10-29-2018, 03:53 PM
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In a funk. Just started drinking. Later
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Old 10-29-2018, 05:33 PM
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Hi and welcome 😊 ... First off great decision on trying to quit for good. I was like you quit for a while and then because I was stressed or pissed or something got under my skin I was back at it again... I agree with the other poster about finding other support along with this site. I’m not in AA either but I am in therapy for the addiction issues for me mainly alcohol. You can stop if you really want it u can.. Stay on this site and read thru other people’s threads which you’ll find very helpful.. Best of luck 😊
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Old 10-29-2018, 05:51 PM
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welcome gvtonyaz

You're not excluded from posting here if you're drinking - this is a support site :

If you're in a funk it's probably the best time to use the place - before you drink.

Hope to hear from you again

D
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Old 10-29-2018, 05:56 PM
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Hi gvtonyaz - I'm glad you're here.

I wasn't sober when I first joined SR. I knew what I had to do, though. I would read all the posts & envy those who were sober - I wanted what they had. I knew I could do it, but it took me a while to find the strength. You can do it! I got free & never looked back.
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Old 10-29-2018, 06:57 PM
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Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
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Old 10-29-2018, 07:58 PM
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Hey back.
I wasn't sober when I came here either. In fact, I wasn't for quite awhile.
But I kept coming here, and going to AA where I was still drinking too, until I wanted to get sober more than I wanted to drink.

Things are going to get under your skin. One of those for me was drinking, or rather recovering from drinking. I was a heavy drinker and the hangovers were gruesome. That got under my skin.
Things finally clicked. The only way for me was complete abstinence .
Good by hang overs.
Things get under my skin most every day, but now I can handle them sober.
I wish the same for you.
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Old 10-30-2018, 09:43 AM
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Thanks for comments. I had 4 beers last night. I plan to stop again right now. It is kind of like dieting - if you cheat, don't let that be the reason to go completely off the wagon. It is a setback, and I will start again.
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Old 10-30-2018, 04:58 PM
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My advice is don't look at it like dieting in any sense of the word.
It has to be a lifestyle change.

Plug yourself in here - post as much as you need to and ask for help if you need it - thats the way to get somewhere

D
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Old 10-31-2018, 03:53 PM
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I had a setback the other day. Now it is my second day not drinking. I get to my "witching hour" (dusk) and feel like having a drink out of habit. Tough.
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Old 10-31-2018, 04:18 PM
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Welcome GV,

I agree with Dee. It’s not a diet. It’s a permanent lifestyle change. I had to completely overhaul my thinking, behaviors and habits. To do that, I started individual therapy, yoga, meditation, exercise and coming here daily. I read a lot of recovery books and material too. Some folks go to AA as well, some do detox. I never went to AA but I do the 12 steps on my own. Things and people get under my skin every single day and this always drove me to drink in the past. But if I drank every time someone made me angry, I’d be drunk constantly. I had to deal with my issues with anger and stress separately and find healthy alternatives for handling it. Therapy helps with this.
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Old 10-31-2018, 04:51 PM
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Do you have time to schedule some stuff to do while you’d normally be drinking? It’s been working for me so far.

As many have said here, knowing your triggers is important. If it’s a specific time, place, activity, maybe try to stay away from those right now and try to do something else. It helps keep your mind off of drinking for the time being. Staying busy is not a long term solution, but it helps in the meantime to hopefully get some sober days under your belt and formulate a plan.

I literally wandered around downtown after work last week for a few hours because I knew the urge to drink would be too strong if I went home. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

You can def do this. Keep posting here!
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Old 10-31-2018, 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by gvtonyaz View Post
I had a setback the other day. Now it is my second day not drinking. I get to my "witching hour" (dusk) and feel like having a drink out of habit. Tough.
yeah it's tough but not impossible - log on and spend your usual witching hour here, maybe?

D
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Old 11-03-2018, 07:41 AM
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Some advice. Tomorrow I am leaving for 10 days to visit my elderly parents. It so happens that they drink every day. Around my witching hour, my dad will no doubt say, "You want a glass of wine"? I have to muster enough strength to resist. My parents have a touch of dementia so that same question will come up every day I am there for the 10 days. On top of that, my unemployed, alcoholic, drug addict 56-year old brother lives there too. I only see my parents 2X a year to check on them, straighten out meds, do projects around the house, make sure bills are paid etc. "Oh, Jesus take the wheel..."
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Old 11-03-2018, 08:12 AM
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Wow, that's just full of red flags. I don't think you can just leave it to Jesus, or even a higher power if you prefer, to properly handle the situation. I'm assuming that you are unable or unwilling to cancel/defer this trip.

1. Can you stay in a motel/hotel while you are there and only engage with them during the day when drinking may be less or not present? You can explain this anyway you want, including that you are not drinking and that it makes you uncomfortable to be around them when they do consume. It seems to me that removing yourself from situations of alcohol use is paramount and worth the expense if you can afford it.

2. What about cutting the length of your stay to achieve the essential things? The shortest time you have to deal with it the better, especially around your brother, the better. You can say you have other pressing obligations that require you to be home.

3. If you can, set up arrangements for seeing that bills are paid electronically by you or that you can monitor that this is being done properly.

4. What outside services are your parents receiving, such as elder care visits, meals on wheels, etc.? If they have dementia symptoms, I wouldn't trust it to your brother to provide them appropriate oversight and help. Have their medical appointments been attended to and/or transportation services for regular care been defined? Does somebody check on them periodically?

Remember the priority of your recovery.
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Old 11-03-2018, 08:54 AM
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I was coming off of a rough couple of days and had my last drink at noon the day I found this place.

I sometimes post and sometimes I just read along. It keeps me in a positive state of mind just to be here with everybody else.

Maybe sometimes the best time to take advantage of the support here is when you've lapsed.

If you're in a state of mind to drink or feeling bad because you have, hanging out here and talking with people is a good way to get past that state of mind.

Stay positive, even if you've let yourself go a bit. You've got this.
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Old 11-03-2018, 03:58 PM
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do you need to go this week gvtonyaz? I have no doubt you can stay sober but why stress yourself out at this point?

D
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Old 11-03-2018, 04:18 PM
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I wonder the same thing. Can you change the week of your visit? If you had a few weeks of sober time, it might be easier for you to get through the visit with your parents?
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Old 11-28-2018, 10:33 AM
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I'm back! I spent 2 weeks and 2 days at my parent's house. Just to let you know, it was miserable. I had an argument with my drug addict, drunk brother, deep discussions with my parents all the while they were drinking alcohol every day. The weather was cold and rainy. I was away from home. This otherwise would have been perfect drinking conditions - but I did not drink and haven't since I have been home. Before I left, I bought an e-book of "The Naked Mind..." It gave me the inspiration to keep from drinking.
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