HopingForANewMe

I've been drinking heavily really since college about 10 years ago. Pretty much all beer and also some wine, pretty much never hard alcohol, not that it matters. I'm just tired of it. So, if you don't mind me ranting, I have to get some things off of my chest...

I imagine every persons addiction is different, so here's some details of where I am. I do not drink around the clock, but my habit is to come home from work and "wind down" by drinking beer. I will easily put back a 6 pack and also add some wine on top of that some nights. The mornings suck, but I shake it off and go about it the same way again the next day and repeat. Weekends are the same but the drinking starts at lunch. I do go some days and sometimes several days without drinking and I feels great. It's puzzling that I am aware of how good it feels being sober but go right back into the same routine.

I have to break this cycle, its not sustainable and not who I want to be anymore. I fully realize that not only is this "just" a habbit for me I have to break, but I have to start facing life's problems without alcohol. It's been a crutch for me. Stressed out? Have a beer... Something bothering me? Life's not going my way? Crack open that beer. It has to stop.

I have a family and a young child, if I don't straighten up I am only going to be letting them down eventually. I know quitting will make me a better husband, father, and overall better person. I did finally open up to my wife about my decision and of course she is fully supportive. Thankfully I haven't done anything while drinking that has caused any hurt on my family and my marriage is strong.

I want to be healthier both mentally and physically. Strangely enough even through my daily drinking habits I do manage to exercise daily so I'm not in terrible health. Though blood tests have shown signs of the damage I have been doing. My blood pressure also shoots up after a weekend binge. A few days off from drinking and it slowly goes back to normal, so it's certainly the alcohol. I also haven't been open with my doctor about my drinking, so I guess thats part of the next steps.

Anyhow, thanks for reading. Any advise is much appreciated. Hopefully this is the start of a better life for me. I am writing this sober and am already a few days in not drinking, hey you have to start somewhere

least

Welcome to the family. You won't regret getting sober. Best thing I ever did for myself.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Hardinge

I'm well aware of how alcohol can become a part of a routine in an otherwise typical life. It's good that you recognized it early in life. Maybe it would help if you thought out some specific routines to occupy those first few hours after work that you now devote to drinking. You're in a rut that includes alcohol. Leaving the alcohol alone may require that you alter your entire routine and exclude alcohol from the way you choose to spend your time.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad that you have decided to stop drinking. It's always a good idea to have a plan in place to help you through sobriety. Stopping drinking is the first step, and then making lifestyle changes to support your recovery will be important, too. Glad you found us!

Arpeggioh

Yeah, I don't think you'll ever regret quitting while it's still a fairly simple process. "Darn, I quit drinking too soon" isn't something a lot of people say, I would imagine. Congrats on seeing the habit and the pattern emerging, and cutting it off before physical and emotional dependence sets in. Your future will be SO much simpler and better...

Guener

Kudos on seeing that your drinking has become a concern for you and in deciding to take action while things are not out of control. Your cycle of drinking at that age sounds a lot like mine, and it just developed from there, for me. As you appreciate how much better you feel in abstinence and do other things than drink to wind down, things will change for you in a good way.

HopingForANewMe

Thanks for the replies and support everyone. I know it won't be easy, but I am ready. Only thing similar I have gone through in the past that I went through would maybe be quitting cigarettes. I was a heavy smoker. I quit cold turkey. I remember the first few weeks were tough. After a while though, it got easier and now it doesn't even cross my mind.

Would anyone say this was a comparable experience? Has anyone ever quit drinking and over time also lost the desire? Thanks again.

Hardinge

My opinion,..at your age you can definitely expect to lose the desire for drinking if you stop. It may be tough for a while. On the other hand, it may occur sooner than you think if you configure your life in a way where alcohol doesn't fit.

As an example, when I was a young guy I smoked a lot of pot. The first few days without it, I would miss it. But after a while without it I just forgot about it. These days I don't miss it at all. In fact, the last few times I tried it I really didn't enjoy the effect it had.

HopingForANewMe

First Monday in a while I woke up not feeling like garbage. Hope I can keep this up. Thanks for the support

HopingForANewMe

Halloween in my neighborhood is a "good time" for adults too with people openly drinking and socializing while walking around. I usually look forward to over drinking on Halloween. I just drank water tonight though, but it sure was tempting. I just thought about how awful a lot of the people tomorrow morning and it helped me not give in. Baby steps, but I'm hanging in there!

Hevyn

I'm glad you made it over that hurdle. In the early days, it's very challenging to avoid doing what we've always done. Even though we know nothing good will come of it, & there'll be regrets! Happy to know you're still sober. We promise it will get easier.

dpac414

TeeJayVerm

I've never smoked but did make the decision to no longer consume sweets about 2-3 years ago. A whole room of people could be eating chocolate cake and I still would not feel tempted at all to eat it. I am trying to develop a similar mindset to alcohol.

I think drawing parallels between your former smoking and drinking habit can only help your cause because I have read a lot of people's stories on this forum where they drank every day and now are not tempted by it at all.

HopingForANewMe

How do I "Say Thank You " to someones post like I see others doing?

EDIT:

Never mind, I see it on desktop but couldn't find it on mobile.

HopingForANewMe

I got through a Friday night with no alcohol. Others were even drinking all around me at dinner, I was offered alcohol and said no. I thought about having "just" one or two, because I really do think I would have the power to limit it, but I just asked myself why. What's the point? Just drink water. I looked back at my original post and said, I don't have to feel like I've felt while drinking ever again.

I stayed sober and enjoyed my family. I woke up early and felt great, hangover free. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be ok with a casual dinner drink. But as of right now, I just can't find a reason in my mind to do so. There is no positive outcome of it.

lessgravity

Nice job man. I can attest to your question above regarding whether or not it gets easier the further you get away from the poison. Yes, it definitely does. I also think that people like us, with a supportive family and with obligations that we need to take care of, can focus our sobriety on the responsibilities and tasks that we have to take care of those we love.

Quitting is not easy but it's the best thing you can do.

​​​​​​As you stated above, booze hasn't cost you irreparable harm, yet. Emphasis on yet. As I know you know, and many have experienced here, I was very very close to losing it all, it's only a matter of time that the poison can take away all that has value and meaning in our lives. Good job, keep posting and congrats.

JoeCree

I have gone through pretty much the same thing as you with a similar resume. Family work no serious damage done, other than physical, and ultimately disappointing my responsibilities as a husband and father.
You have to look at alcohol consumption as the exact same poisonous intake as cigarettes.
Problem with me is when I quit smoking ~10 years ago, my alcohol intake increased.
I basically substituted one bad habit with another.
I did quit drinking for a year and went back, but the chaos followed in quick order. It wasn't until I accepted that my drinking was controlling my life that I realized i can never go back. There are no breaks to get better, it's a commitment to sobriety that takes effort and hardship. The diff in the addiction is relatively similar, but the hardship comes with society and everything around you. I would equate quitting smoking in the 50s as similar to quitting drinking now. You have to be committed, because everyone around you is still doing it.
The good news: it can be done. It is incredibly empowering to face all of life's struggles and celebrations sober, your body produces the correct chemicals naturally to live life on life's terms. You also become a great role model to your children, and you'll start excelling and getting promoted at work. Pretty good results eh?

Im 3 years this month.. and there's not a day or moment that goes by where I wish I never quit.
Irony is several of my close friends have followed suit. People "want" life to be amazing, Im a firm believer sobriety is the only way to achieve that.

Stick around - theres wisdom beyond belief here.

Rd2quit

Hopingforanewme,

our stories sound similar but I have been drinking for closer to 20 years. In that extra time , I drink more and I now routinely drink whiskey as well as beer.

otherwise, I also don't drink around the clock but do drink most nights. Fridays are usually my big night, going out with friends and drinking until I black out. I have two young children and I always have to try and pull it together to get through all the Saturday activities the kids have.

I also quit smoking cold Turkey over 10 years ago. I smoked about a pack a day. I notice some similarities and some differences in these first couple weeks. For, me I had significant physical withdrawals when I quit smoking and not so much for drinking. However, everyone I know drinks, it is everywhere I go. Smoking was becoming a chore, so few places allow you to smoke I was constantly excusing myself to go outside and smoke.

Halloween was also a bit of a trigger. We had families over for pizza and beer. The other parents took "road beers" while the kids trick or treated. I stuck with pepsi and ate more candy then I care to admit.

I am on day 15 sober and I feel great. I am sure we can do this!