Relapse after 1 year sober -- advice?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 122
Relapse after 1 year sober -- advice?
** posted this in the Alcohol-specific forum as well (where it's probably more appropriate?) -- I'm not exactly a "newcomer" so if this doesn't belong here, please delete **
Ugh. It's absolutely insane that, KNOWing I would have the thought (you know, the "wow I think I'm *fiiiine* now!" thought) and prepping for it, I still wasn't in tune enough to recognize it when it happened.
The first month of sobriety was hard. I struggled just to stay away from alcohol. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th were EASY -- I was sort of swept up in this new optimism about life. Things got a little weird during the 5th - 9th month...a bit more anxious, as I realized that I had no long-term skills to deal with ANY emotion (happy or sad), and had to learn to navigate living again.
But then, during the 10th month, this vague sense creeped in... like "hmm, things are going pretty good...". I KNOW this thought was dangerous, and I should have reached out, but it's weird... I didn't think I needed to because... well, everything felt alright. Like it was safe.
Anyway, what started 2 glasses of wine at friends wedding in September lead to an entire bottle of tequila last week while on the phone with a friends mom.
I'm currently 8 days sober. And while it doesn't feel like I'm gearing up for another round of "claw yourself out of the muck" like I had during my first month of sobriety (I'd been drinking a lot leading up), I'm still curious to know how people felt moving forward, what came up that they didn't expect, and what helped them get back on track... I've always found hearing other peoples experiences helped me know what to look out for.
Ugh. It's absolutely insane that, KNOWing I would have the thought (you know, the "wow I think I'm *fiiiine* now!" thought) and prepping for it, I still wasn't in tune enough to recognize it when it happened.
The first month of sobriety was hard. I struggled just to stay away from alcohol. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th were EASY -- I was sort of swept up in this new optimism about life. Things got a little weird during the 5th - 9th month...a bit more anxious, as I realized that I had no long-term skills to deal with ANY emotion (happy or sad), and had to learn to navigate living again.
But then, during the 10th month, this vague sense creeped in... like "hmm, things are going pretty good...". I KNOW this thought was dangerous, and I should have reached out, but it's weird... I didn't think I needed to because... well, everything felt alright. Like it was safe.
Anyway, what started 2 glasses of wine at friends wedding in September lead to an entire bottle of tequila last week while on the phone with a friends mom.
I'm currently 8 days sober. And while it doesn't feel like I'm gearing up for another round of "claw yourself out of the muck" like I had during my first month of sobriety (I'd been drinking a lot leading up), I'm still curious to know how people felt moving forward, what came up that they didn't expect, and what helped them get back on track... I've always found hearing other peoples experiences helped me know what to look out for.
Last edited by kintsugi; 10-26-2018 at 01:08 PM. Reason: letting people know that I'm not really "new" and that I posted it elsewhere as well
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 257
I kept replapsing.. I managed some weeks, months, and closer to a year but I also went back to drinking until I finnally went to AA, got a sponsor and worked though the 12 steps! That is my best advice, find a recovery program and WORK it. The desire to drink again come lurking when you least expect it, unless you get your brain rewired and get the right mental tools to keep sober. For me a good sponsor in AA and doing the 12 steps did the trick
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Welcome back Kintsugi 
I think most peopel finding it harder to quit again after some sober time, but it's by no means impossible - you may just have to work a little harder this time,. and think about doing things you didn't do last time, perhaps?
Tygers AA suggestion is not a bad one
do you think this experience means that you'll no longer fall for the 'maybe one drink won't hurt' thing again?
I think most peopel finding it harder to quit again after some sober time, but it's by no means impossible - you may just have to work a little harder this time,. and think about doing things you didn't do last time, perhaps?
Tygers AA suggestion is not a bad one
do you think this experience means that you'll no longer fall for the 'maybe one drink won't hurt' thing again?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,970
Welcome back! With my previous relapses, I did tend to rationalize that I still wasn’t as bad off as when I was actively drinking (before trying to get sober). This type of thinking made it easier for me to relapse and just keep justifying it. I had to completely change my mindset and it took some therapy and lifestyle changes to work on myself and emotional sobriety. It’s easy to get complacent if not practicing some sort of program every day. It can really sneak up on you when you least expect even after long periods of sobriety. Hope to see you around here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I realized that I had no long-term skills to deal with ANY emotion (happy or sad), and had to learn to navigate living again.
I think you nailed it right there. When I first get sober I'm so happy that life is just kind of normal...not feeling like beat shlit all the time is so fabulous. The good ole pink cloud. Then normal just becomes normal and that early sobriety high is gone. Feelings come screaming in. Its then that the growth can begin. But it requires an un-daunting commitment to not drinking, no matter what I'm feeling or going through. And having a plan in place to help me learn to cope. AA is an excellent resource for learning to live life on life's terms.
Sounds like at about 6 months you had a choice to make. Double down and do the work, or let the addiction start to take over, convince you that you were somehow 'ok' to drink again. And the process toward relapse starts.
I think you nailed it right there. When I first get sober I'm so happy that life is just kind of normal...not feeling like beat shlit all the time is so fabulous. The good ole pink cloud. Then normal just becomes normal and that early sobriety high is gone. Feelings come screaming in. Its then that the growth can begin. But it requires an un-daunting commitment to not drinking, no matter what I'm feeling or going through. And having a plan in place to help me learn to cope. AA is an excellent resource for learning to live life on life's terms.
Sounds like at about 6 months you had a choice to make. Double down and do the work, or let the addiction start to take over, convince you that you were somehow 'ok' to drink again. And the process toward relapse starts.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,653
Just that Kin- sharing. Sometimes even just the effort in posting here, regardless of how crap it might be (me, I mean) I FEEL BETTER FOR IT. I POST HEAPS. also MEETINGS, JOURNAL AND DOC AND COUNSELOR.
sUPPORT TO YOU
oops caps. apols
sUPPORT TO YOU
oops caps. apols
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
