Hi and accepting that I need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 5
Hi and accepting that I need help
Hello everyone. I am new to the forum. I recently found you all while searching for info on recoving from alcohol abuse. I’ve been struggling with depression for almost 10 years (most of those untreated) and became accustomed to drowning my sorrows with alcohol. I realize that alcohol is a depressant and only makes things worse, but once you begin that cycle, it’s a tough habit to break. While I am not a daily drinker, I have been prone to some rough,damaging binges when the opportunity presents itself. I have been lying to myself regarding the severity of my problem. I have been lying to my spouse to try to cover up when I drink. I see a therapist regularly and am now being treated for the depression but still struggle with the desire to use alcohol to numb my feelings. I kind of wish that I could suck it up and start going to A.A. but social anxiety throws me off every time. It’s hard for me to even post here. This is actually a pretty big deal for me. I guess the first step is admitting that I have a problem—- I have an issue with alcohol abuse and I need help. I need to kick this before it ruins my marriage, before I screw up my relationships with my family, before something happens that lands me in jail or the hospital or even the morgue. I am scared of reaching out but, just from reading, I know you all are in the same boat. I’m not sure what I am looking for at this point. Just joining the conversation, I guess.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Welcome to SR, Dang. I’ve used this site pretty regularly since I quit drinking last September, and I’ve found that reading and posting has really helped me stay sober.
Please remember you’re not alone in this. We know how you feel and really want to help.
Stronger2017
Please remember you’re not alone in this. We know how you feel and really want to help.
Stronger2017
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome. You have taken a big step by posting here and admitting you have a problem. That is the first step.
I was in the same boat. Drinking to numb a mental illness.
You've taken the first step, so congratulations. I know how hard that is.
Social anxiety kept me from AA for years. When I finally mustered up the courage to go, I found there was nothing to be afraid of. Here was a room full of people with the same problem as me-trying to stop drinking.
No one noticed me and I didn't have to speak I just listened for a long time.
You took action by posting here. That is huge. I couldn't admit I had a problem for many years, too. When I finally did admit it I realized I couldn't quit alone after a hundred failed attempts. I needed help. Like I said, I found that help here and in AA.
I hope you do go to a meeting. They totally changed my life. I wasn't alone anymore.
Best to you and stick around you'll find lots of support here.
You are not alone either.
I was in the same boat. Drinking to numb a mental illness.
You've taken the first step, so congratulations. I know how hard that is.
Social anxiety kept me from AA for years. When I finally mustered up the courage to go, I found there was nothing to be afraid of. Here was a room full of people with the same problem as me-trying to stop drinking.
No one noticed me and I didn't have to speak I just listened for a long time.
You took action by posting here. That is huge. I couldn't admit I had a problem for many years, too. When I finally did admit it I realized I couldn't quit alone after a hundred failed attempts. I needed help. Like I said, I found that help here and in AA.
I hope you do go to a meeting. They totally changed my life. I wasn't alone anymore.
Best to you and stick around you'll find lots of support here.
You are not alone either.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome, and this is a safe place for you to come and seek support.
I also used alcohol to deal with depression/anxiety and of course, it made everything so much worse. I'm glad you're getting treatment for your depression and that you are ready to stop drinking.
I also used alcohol to deal with depression/anxiety and of course, it made everything so much worse. I'm glad you're getting treatment for your depression and that you are ready to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Dang, as another who has dealt with my depression and anxiety through many bottles, I empathize with your feelings and thoughts. While you are mustering up the strength to take another step, and meetings are a great way to go, this is a wonderful place to get on your feet. Getting sober is kind of like getting your sea legs: you feel wobbly, unstable, and even seasick. Therapy is a great and safe place as well to explore what it means to take these steps into recovery. Posting your first statements marks your wish, nay your gumption, to live a different sort of life than you have been. Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 71
You’ve come to the right place.... you’re already turning your life around just by being here..... it won’t be easy, but stay the course with us and we will help you through the roughest of times ok.. just keep trying along with us and you’ll feel in cotrol oh you’re life again 😊
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,286
Dang, i was in a situation where I couldn't join AA meetings , small town , everybody knows everybody ... This site has been my saving grace, and I have used it daily for 65 days , and have not had a drop to drink since joining.
If I can do it, anybody can . I thought I was a lost case.
If I can do it, anybody can . I thought I was a lost case.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 5
Good morning everyone. Thank you for the support.
DontRemember- today is Day 2 for me. I’ve been fighting for a while- thinking I could stay sober on my own. Going weeks at a time without drinking. But then I slip up. Well, I slipped up Wednesday and hated myself every minute. I finally came clean to my husband and told him I needed help. Yesterday I had a meeting with my therapist and told her everything that I’d been holding back. She is pushing me to go to A.A. and meet with her more regularly. I also had a long talk with my husband and parents (my primary family support) about the plan moving forward. Today, my goal is to find and attend my first A.A. meeting.
Now, don’t let me fool you, I may have a plan but I certainly don’t have my sh*t together yet. I have been an emotional mess. I’m sitting at my desk fighting tears as I post this and praying that my coworkers don’t look at me too closely and ask if I’m ok. I feel like I could break down any minute. I can at least say that I’m committed to not using alcohol to make my feelings go away today.
i know I’ve got some hard work ahead of me. It gets better, right?
DontRemember- today is Day 2 for me. I’ve been fighting for a while- thinking I could stay sober on my own. Going weeks at a time without drinking. But then I slip up. Well, I slipped up Wednesday and hated myself every minute. I finally came clean to my husband and told him I needed help. Yesterday I had a meeting with my therapist and told her everything that I’d been holding back. She is pushing me to go to A.A. and meet with her more regularly. I also had a long talk with my husband and parents (my primary family support) about the plan moving forward. Today, my goal is to find and attend my first A.A. meeting.
Now, don’t let me fool you, I may have a plan but I certainly don’t have my sh*t together yet. I have been an emotional mess. I’m sitting at my desk fighting tears as I post this and praying that my coworkers don’t look at me too closely and ask if I’m ok. I feel like I could break down any minute. I can at least say that I’m committed to not using alcohol to make my feelings go away today.
i know I’ve got some hard work ahead of me. It gets better, right?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Do check out some AA meetings. They helped me get my stuff together emotionally,after crying like a baby a couple times and I'm a big dude LOL..but AA( I was court ordered) gave me a 'guideline' on how to approach/live my life without the crutch of drinking. Kinda ironic how some use drinking as a way to cope with life and then need help to cope with the life of drinking. 
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