First test that actually scared me...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 68
First test that actually scared me...
hey all,
I'm currently 6 months sober. Yesterday I threw a bachelorette party for my sister. It was nothing crazy... My sister barely drinks and only wanted me and her other bridesmaid there. I love my sister but we are polar opposites in a lot of ways. Let's just say she's very tightly wound, negative and can't find the fun in pretty much anything. So, it was very hard to try to plan something fun for her to do. I took her to the beach and tried to take her and her friend bar hopping. I obviously just drank water and I was the designated driver which I was fine with. I have been to parties and bars and never have I been tempted to drink so I didn't think this would be a problem for me.
My sister had 4 drinks and she was wasted. I didn't mind, I wanted her to let loose for once. But it turns out her and her friend still couldn't find a way to have fun. I brought a deck of "truth or dare" cards for us to play but she didn't want to. I tried everything to liven up this party but it was so dull. They seemed to have fun which is what mattered but I was bored out of my mind. I had the thoughts of drinking.... Thinking, " man, if I could just have a few drinks... I could at least stop fake laughing and maybe laugh for real". I, in no way, was going to drink, but it scared me terribly for having these thoughts. It was the first time since being sober that I really WANTED a drink. I never had cravings until last night.
We returned to the hotel room at 8:30... Yes, 8:30!!! Some bachelorette party. But, I was glad because we weren't in the bars anymore. Then, I had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and emptiness. I just wanted my own bed and my husband. I was extremely anxious... My husband even told me to get a cab and he would pay the $200-$300 it was to get me home. I couldn't do that to my sister though so I stuck it out.
After talking to my husband when I got home, I realized that maybe I freaked out because it was my first time out around alcohol with people that weren't my husband or the normal group of people I'm comfortable with or the people who know what I'm going through. I was way out of my comfort zone. I didn't like it at all and it makes me sad because I thought I was past the temptations. I'm mad that I even had the desire in my head to drink. I thought I was in an extremely strong place where the bottle could no longer tempt me. I just feel down on myself and I feel guilty for thinking about drinking. I didn't think anything would make me feel any sort of weakness. It's a new day though and I am back home in my safe place. Her wedding is next weekend and I'm nervous about that now. Luckily, my husband will be there this time.
Anyways, I was on here reading posts last night to help me relax enough to fall asleep. So, even though I didn't get to speak to any of you last night, you still helped me get through the night with your posts, so thank you, SR. I couldn't have gotten through without you all.
I'm currently 6 months sober. Yesterday I threw a bachelorette party for my sister. It was nothing crazy... My sister barely drinks and only wanted me and her other bridesmaid there. I love my sister but we are polar opposites in a lot of ways. Let's just say she's very tightly wound, negative and can't find the fun in pretty much anything. So, it was very hard to try to plan something fun for her to do. I took her to the beach and tried to take her and her friend bar hopping. I obviously just drank water and I was the designated driver which I was fine with. I have been to parties and bars and never have I been tempted to drink so I didn't think this would be a problem for me.
My sister had 4 drinks and she was wasted. I didn't mind, I wanted her to let loose for once. But it turns out her and her friend still couldn't find a way to have fun. I brought a deck of "truth or dare" cards for us to play but she didn't want to. I tried everything to liven up this party but it was so dull. They seemed to have fun which is what mattered but I was bored out of my mind. I had the thoughts of drinking.... Thinking, " man, if I could just have a few drinks... I could at least stop fake laughing and maybe laugh for real". I, in no way, was going to drink, but it scared me terribly for having these thoughts. It was the first time since being sober that I really WANTED a drink. I never had cravings until last night.
We returned to the hotel room at 8:30... Yes, 8:30!!! Some bachelorette party. But, I was glad because we weren't in the bars anymore. Then, I had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and emptiness. I just wanted my own bed and my husband. I was extremely anxious... My husband even told me to get a cab and he would pay the $200-$300 it was to get me home. I couldn't do that to my sister though so I stuck it out.
After talking to my husband when I got home, I realized that maybe I freaked out because it was my first time out around alcohol with people that weren't my husband or the normal group of people I'm comfortable with or the people who know what I'm going through. I was way out of my comfort zone. I didn't like it at all and it makes me sad because I thought I was past the temptations. I'm mad that I even had the desire in my head to drink. I thought I was in an extremely strong place where the bottle could no longer tempt me. I just feel down on myself and I feel guilty for thinking about drinking. I didn't think anything would make me feel any sort of weakness. It's a new day though and I am back home in my safe place. Her wedding is next weekend and I'm nervous about that now. Luckily, my husband will be there this time.
Anyways, I was on here reading posts last night to help me relax enough to fall asleep. So, even though I didn't get to speak to any of you last night, you still helped me get through the night with your posts, so thank you, SR. I couldn't have gotten through without you all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I'm glad you made it through and didn't give into the craving. Being out of your comfort zone must have been rough.
It sounds like you have a very caring husband, and that's great.
In my early sobriety, I had cravings from the weirdest things.
I once had seven months sober and was doing laundry at a laundromat when I decided that would be a good time to drink, and I did.
Good job on making it through and thanks for sharing your experience.
It sounds like you have a very caring husband, and that's great.
In my early sobriety, I had cravings from the weirdest things.
I once had seven months sober and was doing laundry at a laundromat when I decided that would be a good time to drink, and I did.
Good job on making it through and thanks for sharing your experience.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Good job on making it through that. Not sure a drink will give you an authentic laugh. We go through feelings by not drinking. Not always equipped to do so. Not always comfy. But you did it.
A thought of a drink will happen. It is (im going to go AA on you) cunning, baffling, powerful, alcoholism. Also; change people, placrs and things. It's best to avoid these things early in sobriety. They are challenging. I had to go to a family weding 3 months in. Ill advised, but I got to gloat too that I survived.
Doing good!! Yay.
Jules
A thought of a drink will happen. It is (im going to go AA on you) cunning, baffling, powerful, alcoholism. Also; change people, placrs and things. It's best to avoid these things early in sobriety. They are challenging. I had to go to a family weding 3 months in. Ill advised, but I got to gloat too that I survived.
Doing good!! Yay.
Jules
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm glad you didn't drink 
Learning to have fun sober is a skill like anything else - you learn it over time.
I have a better time now socially than I ever did as a drinker because I don;t end up in the corner passed out now.
I am a lot quieter these days, sure - but you know what - thats the real me.
And drinkers still can be very boring.
If you;re thinking that you need to imbibe to feel the spirit of the occasion thats pure AV.
There's nothing authentic about being wasted - authenticity lies in experiencing life sober.
'You can't have real fun unless you're wasted' is a pimple of pure alcoholism - pop it
I'm glad you resisted
D
Learning to have fun sober is a skill like anything else - you learn it over time.
I have a better time now socially than I ever did as a drinker because I don;t end up in the corner passed out now.
I am a lot quieter these days, sure - but you know what - thats the real me.
And drinkers still can be very boring.
If you;re thinking that you need to imbibe to feel the spirit of the occasion thats pure AV.
There's nothing authentic about being wasted - authenticity lies in experiencing life sober.
'You can't have real fun unless you're wasted' is a pimple of pure alcoholism - pop it
I'm glad you resisted
D
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