sobernotsaint

i was just wonering if you dont belong to a fellowship what do you do about loneliness. i prefer to hang out with sober people , yes i know people make friends on here but what about face to face relationships ?

Guener

I have very few face to face relationships, and, yes, I feel lonely at times. I do enjoy my time by myself, sober, but I do at least engage with people at work, with my parents, and I'm going back to my first AA meeting in a couple years this morning. I am also considering getting started in some volunteer work outside the realm of recovery that will bring me greater self-esteem as well as connections to others face to face. As long as you are not isolating yourself from other people intentionally, I think it's natural to feel moments of feeling alone in your thoughts.

LoveHateWhine

I also feel lonely a lot of the time. Like Geuner, I am going to try volunteering in the area as way to not only be around others so I am not isolating, but to also do some good. I have a lot to be thankful for and sometimes that is easy to forget.

PhoenixJ

I feel lonely most of the time...but I force myself to be around humans. That means AA meetings- not because of the god bit, or the clichés (which are quite apt), but to be around people. I make myself go to places where humans are- like parks, malls- just to walk around. It does get a little easier.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm not sure loneliness in sobriety is a secular thing so much as just a side effect of distancing yourself from your social circle of drinkers. After all many of us did everything drunk, and with other drunks. Sometimes as a survival mechanism you have to distance yourself from people that drink, especially in early sobriety. Of course, lots of people started drinking in the first place to deal with social anxiety. So take away the booze and the social anxiety remains.

A forum is not the same as having face-to-face friends but I find it incredibly valuable nonetheless.

I find one of the best ways to meet people is through hobbies. I've met quite a few people IRL that I got to know through forums dedicated to camping, hiking and the outdoors. A big advantage is that those places are full of people that will automatically have something in common with you. So that could be a book club, an amateur sports team, a knitting circle, a trap shooting league, etc.

Lastly I kind of like to hang out and surf the net at a favorite coffee shop. I can around other people while not really having to engage with them all. Of course if you like that can lead to actually meeting other humans.

jesshonesty

I have met a lot of sober at Meditation and Yoga Studios and also there are a lot of social events on Meet Up that are easy to join. Often things like hiking or other fun activities are listed--that don't include alcohol. I have to be around people in sobriety and go to AA sometimes just to open my heart--even if I something ignore the words people are saying.....