day 2. back at it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 100
day 2. back at it.
hey guys,
it's been a few months since i posted but you guessed it. same old story.
one night of drinking with my buddy in late january broke my 97 day streak, then the next week i had relapsed on weed (my true DOC) and boom. it's October again and i haven't been sober more than a few days this summer. i would have had a year next week if i'd had stuck to it.
i've been smoking weed almost daily, half a pack of ciggs, drinking on the weekends, and even a little powder thrown in.
what the **** is wrong with me? i never seem to learn.
it's been a few months since i posted but you guessed it. same old story.
one night of drinking with my buddy in late january broke my 97 day streak, then the next week i had relapsed on weed (my true DOC) and boom. it's October again and i haven't been sober more than a few days this summer. i would have had a year next week if i'd had stuck to it.
i've been smoking weed almost daily, half a pack of ciggs, drinking on the weekends, and even a little powder thrown in.
what the **** is wrong with me? i never seem to learn.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Welcome back. Many of us can relate to thinking we can have a beer or two and then end up losing weeks or months or even years after having had some sober time.
Nothing is inherently wrong with you. Your reward system is a little out of balance because of your addictions. Take it day by day, post here whenever you need to, and you will see your potential return.
Nothing is inherently wrong with you. Your reward system is a little out of balance because of your addictions. Take it day by day, post here whenever you need to, and you will see your potential return.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome back Readytochange. I can relate to a relapse after significant sober time. I was almost 4 months. I was devastated giving up all that sober time and having to start from Day 1. Another 4 months seemed eons away. The only thing I could do was take one sober day at a time. Today I have 157 days. Dust yourself off, keep remembering how awful you feel and take it one day at a time. You can do this. I'm rooting for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 100
the problem is i'm not sure what to do with my life either.
almost 26 years old. my mom has wanted me gone for years. i just quit my job. have an offer on the table but not sure about going back to that industry. rents are high in the city, not even sure where i'd want to live.
its been a horrible day. the only positive is that i'm sober. i was close to giving in earlier but i can't take any more.
almost 26 years old. my mom has wanted me gone for years. i just quit my job. have an offer on the table but not sure about going back to that industry. rents are high in the city, not even sure where i'd want to live.
its been a horrible day. the only positive is that i'm sober. i was close to giving in earlier but i can't take any more.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
welcome back Readyt0Change There nothing wrong with you thats not wrong with the rest of us 
I kept going back to drink & weed because I didn't want to give them up entirely, I wanted to be like other people I saw who drank and smoked and it never seemed to affect their life adversely.
I had to accept I was different to those people. I was a slave to my desires and my addiction slowly but surely ate away at all the other parts of my life.
The only way to live the life I wanted - a free life and a life where I had dreams and could achieve them - was to not drink smoke snort or pill pop at all.
D
I kept going back to drink & weed because I didn't want to give them up entirely, I wanted to be like other people I saw who drank and smoked and it never seemed to affect their life adversely.
I had to accept I was different to those people. I was a slave to my desires and my addiction slowly but surely ate away at all the other parts of my life.
The only way to live the life I wanted - a free life and a life where I had dreams and could achieve them - was to not drink smoke snort or pill pop at all.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,335
Readyt0
Glad you are here. That’s almost 48 hours!
Take a shower, take a walk, play game on your phone or computer if you have one
Anything… Anything… To get past that 10 to 15 minute urge. Remember, it passes.
Welcome !
Glad you are here. That’s almost 48 hours!
Take a shower, take a walk, play game on your phone or computer if you have one
Anything… Anything… To get past that 10 to 15 minute urge. Remember, it passes.
Welcome !
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by readyt0change 
thank you guys. i'm fighting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
ReadyToChange, it's natural to feel upset, anger, disbelief or grief, at having a lapse, but it doesn't make you into a failure at all. Try not to judge yourself on what has happened, it's not a healthy path, we know. Re-engaging in sobriety is a difficult time, when our memories can be faulty, our minds are telling us the wrong things, and when we may feel unworthy of the required effort. Don't beat yourself up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 100
hey free, thanks for asking.
still sober. have an intake at a sober house next week. working a shift today and tomorrow but after that i think i will take some time off work to heal.
i have a job offer already to sell cars but i think i'd like to do something else. (i worked there previously for 3 months)
experiencing headaches. super irritable. angry at others, angry at myself, picking fights in my head.
haven't had a cigarette since sunday. (car sales the last few months really got me into smoking half a pack a day, another reason i don't want to go back) otherwise not much withdrawal.
i'm committed to changing my life. i can't live this way anymore.
still sober. have an intake at a sober house next week. working a shift today and tomorrow but after that i think i will take some time off work to heal.
i have a job offer already to sell cars but i think i'd like to do something else. (i worked there previously for 3 months)
experiencing headaches. super irritable. angry at others, angry at myself, picking fights in my head.
haven't had a cigarette since sunday. (car sales the last few months really got me into smoking half a pack a day, another reason i don't want to go back) otherwise not much withdrawal.
i'm committed to changing my life. i can't live this way anymore.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,335
Hi. I hope you had a good weekend. Wondering if stopping smoking and stopping drinking might be too much at the same time, or maybe not. I found giving myself a lot of slack at the beginning of my alcohol abstinence served me well.
I quit smoking several years ago, and waited about 30 years to quit alcohol. So my last cigarette was Halloween 1987 at 5:23 PM. So that’ll be 31 years coming up soon nicotine free!!
You got this Readyt0❤️
I quit smoking several years ago, and waited about 30 years to quit alcohol. So my last cigarette was Halloween 1987 at 5:23 PM. So that’ll be 31 years coming up soon nicotine free!!
You got this Readyt0❤️
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